Prisoned in your own mind
by CranberryCandy
Summary: DeidaraXOC A young musician named Anjira finds herself partnered with another lunatic artist. How disastrous will things be?
1. Freedom

Chaos.

I could hear it from afar. It seemed to come closer, yet I wanted to remain in my slumber. Chaos was something I was accustomed to but it seemed to be especially noisy today.

As the noise became louder and louder, I wondered whether to give a damn or not. Well, it's not like I'd be able to do anything anyway.

"... He is dead!"

Death was a daily occurrence here. Guess it's nothing to ponder about. I shut my eyes as I continued to float in peace.

"... Orochimaru is dead!"

My eyes shot open. Did I hear that right?

Just another second passed before someone barged into the room I was in and shouted from the top of his lungs:

"Orochimaru is dead! Sasuke Uchiha killed him!"

In an instant, an uproar sprang from the other test subjects as they attempted to break their water tanks in rage. Some of them managed to break free, while others just angrily banged their fists on the glass. I snickered before kicking the glass with my foot.

Once. Twice. Thrice.

The glass finally broke, and the artificially colored blue liquid that detained me poured out. Wiping the slime off my body, I rushed to the lockers on the opposite side of the room, looking for the things that belonged to me. I didn't have much, in fact, all I owned were my clothes and my beloved guitar. I quickly got dressed before entering the corridors of the hideout where test subjects caused havoc, furiously yelling and looking for Sasuke who had killed their "almighty" master.

" Did you see Sasuke?! Tell me!"

"I haven't." I hissed back, continuing my way along the corridors.

I actually felt happy. I hated Orochimaru for everything he had put me through and I didn't understand why everyone else worshiped him. As much as I wanted to make him pay, there was something more important to me and that was to get out of this shit hole and never come back.

"Where is Kabuto?"

"I don't know! He disappeared!"

Kabuto wasn't here either. That only meant no one can stop me from leaving. I was free.

Everyone else was running around aimlessly, with no purpose after Orochimaru has died, but not me. I have a purpose and he stopped me from achieving that.

As much as I wanted to burn everyone alive just to prove that Orochimaru truly didn't give a damn about them, it wasn't worth my time. I had waited so long for this moment.

My steps accelerated as I came closer to the exit and before I knew it- I was outside.

The world was blurry, but colorful. I took a deep breath of the fresh air before spitting on the entrance of the hideout and leaving it behind without another glance.

I gently stroked my guitar. Finally, I could follow my path as a musician. To become a true artist.


	2. Wet, cold, and broke

After a few days of walking, I've finally reached finally reached the Village Hidden in Hot Springs. I thought it would be a good starting place since the village was known for its flowing tourism and I was sure those tourists would tip me for my music.

The streets were filled with people, which was an advantage to me. After reaching a place in the village that seemed to be the busiest, I pulled out a cloth, placed it in front of me, before squatting on the floor. The sun was setting, the sky was dimmed in orange and blue, the clouds were pink; it was a romantic setting. I'm usually into hard rock but I can be quite romantic as well, and soft, mellow music was just perfect for a time like this.

I closed my eyes and let my fingers pluck the strings of my guitar. In this very moment, there was only my music, everything else around me didn't matter. This was what I had been living for. This was what I could never achieve when I was still a test subject.

When I opened my eyes, I saw my cloth covered with bills and coins as well as some people clapping and smiling at me. I felt elated. I decided to play for a few more hours and at the end of the day I've made enough to buy myself dinner and stay at an inn.

It was very refreshing to finally eat real food again instead of food pills or liquid food, and after taking a nice warm shower to get rid of the chemical smell, I tucked myself in a warm cozy bed. Just how long was it since I last had slept in a bed? So nice...

For some reason, I ended up sleeping for nearly twenty hours. I had no idea why, but the innkeeper charged me for a two night stay so I paid the amount needed without checking how much I had left. I decided I had seen enough of this village. As nice as this village was, I needed to see different places to find inspiration and stimulate my mind. The next place I wanted to go to was the Hidden Leaf which was southwest from here and I should be able to reach it in a few days.

It had already been five days, but I still haven't reached the Hidden Leaf Village. I should have arrived yesterday with my walking speed. Did I miss it? I had a feeling I did. Well, no matter, maybe I would find some other village. An adventure, it is!

The sun had already set when it started to rain but luckily I saw a village in the distance, surrounded by water. I ran towards it. I couldn't remember which village this was, but I didn't really care as long as I could get what I needed.

Not many would agree with me, but I thought the village was beautiful. It looked dark and industrial, and the rain kind of made it look steamy, giving me the mood to play some grunge or industrial rock. Just like in the previous village, I searched for the most populated area and began playing.

This time, however, I did not receive anything. Perhaps they didn't like my style so I played something different. But after many hours of playing different kinds of music and not receiving a single coin, nor some emotional support I grew frustrated and gave up. I got up looking for an inn to call it a night, but as soon as I was about to pay I realized I had only ten Ryo left. Seriously, where did all my money go?

Angrily storming out the inn, I cursed under my breath for not checking my wallet before leaving the previous village. I could have played a bit more before leaving so I'd still have something with me, but I suppose it was so typical of me to walk around unprepared all the time.

Immensely pissed off, I grabbed my guitar and furiously played some heavy metal. Fuck me, fuck this village and fuck this rain.

It didn't take long before someone opened their window to yell at me.

"Keep that trashy noise down! People are trying to sleep here! If you don't stop, Pain will get you and you will regret it!" He immediately slammed his window shut.

Pain? Who the hell was Pain?

I shrugged my shoulders and focused on the biggest problem I had. The rain still hadn't stopped and there was no way I would sleep on the wet streets. There was only one way to get money fast: to break into someone's house and take their stuff. It was already late, so it shouldn't be too hard.

I passed through a lonely alley and climbed up the wet pipes before attempting to silently break the window. As long as they'd be willing to give me what I wanted, there would be no need to kill anyone and I wasn't in the mood to be walking around covered in blood. I had no extra clothes with me and I didn't want people to give me funny looks.

But before I could go any further, I felt a soft yet sharp sensation around my body. Was I... being covered in paper?

"Intruders will be eliminated."

I was able to get a quick glimpse of a blue haired woman with wings before being fully covered in paper. I tried to struggle but being in this paper cocoon made it difficult to breathe and I passed out.


	3. Interrogation

"... Don't you think it's best to just kill her? She might be a spy."

"If she is a spy then we could get some information out of her."

I woke up to soft murmurs accompanied by the patter of the rain. I had no idea where I was, but I could see the rain though. Looking down, I realized my entire body, except for my head, was covered in paper, restraining me from any movement.  
I quickly shifted my attention back to the two figures that held me hostage which made my heart stop for a second.

Those cloaks... they belonged to the Akatsuki.

Oh my god. This can't be happening. Not even two weeks have passed since I escaped from Ororchimaru's hideout after years of captivity and now I was already captured by the Akatsuki? Just how fucking unlucky do I have to be for this to actually happen?

"You're awake. Good." The male figure took a few steps closer to me.

I could now clearly see his face, which was covered in piercings, and was completely shocked to see he had the Rinnegan. I have heard about it once when Orochimaru was talking to Kabuto. He had expressed his interest in the Rinnegan of the Akatsuki leader.

So this was the Akatsuki leader. Among all people in the entire ninja world I just happened to run into Akatsuki leader. Fantastic.

"Konan. Did you check her belongings?"

"Yes. All I found were music sheets and a wallet with ten Ryo. And her weapon, of course."

The woman named Konan, who I recognized was the one who captured me, held out my stuff including my pathetic amount money for the leader to see.

"I see." The leader looked back to me. "The fact that you own a weapon only means that you are a shinobi. What village do you come from?"

"... The hidden Sound."

"Sound? Are you working for Orochimaru?"

"I used to. Before he died."

"So, why would you come here now?"

" ... I traveled here to play music and earn some dough."

This was tough. Deep inside I had a feeling that I was going to die. It was practically impossible to convince them that I'm really just a girl who wanted to play her music.

"The timing seems very suspicious to me." Konan chimed in. "I don't believe she would come here just for that. Perhaps Orochimaru faked his death and sent her here."

" I agree but it would seem rather strange to just send this girl to gather information. He might be planning something bigger." The leader replied before giving me a kick. " You. Did you see Orochimaru's body?"

I gritted my teeth and shook my head. " I don't know where it is either. I think Kabuto took it. With all the experiments he did, Kabuto might even find a way to bring him back. Or he might try something worse."

"What kind of experiments were they conducting?"

I wasn't sure of every experiment that had taken place but I told him about the once I knew about. I don't know whether this would increase my chances of surviving but I had to try. I just started my career, I can't die now!

The leader nodded.

"Why are betraying your master so easily even after his death?"

"He was never my master."

The leader looked at Konan before closing his eyes and releasing an irritated sigh.

"Konan. Check if there are any other intruders in the village. I will use Jigokudo on her to find out more."

"Yes, Pain."

As Konan turned to leave, another man entered. He had a different face structure but his hair color and eyes were the same as Pain's. He lifted his arms and a scary-looking purple statue with its mouth open was summoned.

"This is the King of Hell. If you lie, you will die, but if you tell the truth you will live, your life will be mine and I will decide what will become of you."

"... Not like I have a choice, right?" I glared at him.

In an instant I felt weird, alien-like hands enter my mouth, grabbing the back of my tongue. It hurt. But it was okay, I had through worse than this.

"What is your name?"

"... Anjira."

"What clan do you belong to?"

" I don't have a clan."

Pain continued interrogating me and I answered each and every question. It was mostly about Orochimaru. How I started working and becoming his test subject, what experiments I was involved in, what were my intentions, why would Sasuke Uchiha kill him and so on.

There was nothing for me to lie about. I had nothing and no one. I had only myself and my music.

The interrogation felt like it was going on since forever but eventually the statue vanished and I was released. I had survived.

However, I felt so exhausted as if it had sucked out almost all of my chakra and I couldn't even stand.

"It seems like you are not a spy, but you still have committed two crimes in my village which is carrying around a deadly weapon and attempted burglary, thus you shall pay for your crimes. I will test your abilities once the side effects of the Jigokudo subside to decide for myself whether you are worth keeping alive or not."

I couldn't even register what the hell he was yapping about as I drifted in and out of consciousness.

"Konan, take her away."


	4. First Impression

"Art... is an explosion!"

A blast blazed nearby, giving off a roaring sound and revealing an exhibit of irrational colors in a blink of an eye before quickly disappearing. Every time he saw this, he was convinced that this was true beauty.

"Senpai, Senpai, look! I found a giant bug!"

"Oi, Tobi, quit fooling around, hm!" The blonde snapped.

"Eh? But Senpai, you were fooling around too!"

"I wasn't fooling around. I was admiring the moment of explosion, hm."

"Senpai! You will become dense if you keep looking at the same thing all the time!"

"What did you say?"

Tobi was pissing him off so badly, and what's worse was that he was doing it on _purpose_. He was constantly acting like four year old and mocking his art, going as far as calling it a rip-off. His former partner, Sasori, had mocked his art too but at least Sasori was an intellectual. Tobi was just a complete idiot.

"Ah! Senpai, don't glare at me like that! All I'm saying is that it's bad to always look at the same thing. Why don't you appreciate other things in life, like this bug?" He held out the bug.

"Why would I be interested in looking at a damn bug rather than my art, hm?"

" Because this bug is cute! You don't make such cute things, Senpai."

" You say one more thing about my art and I will blow you and that bug into the sky, hm!"

As soon as that sentence left his mouth, the bug flew into his face.

"What the- !" He wildly swatted his hands around his face in attempt to get the bug off his face, before it disappeared from his sight.

"Where is it?"

"In your hair, Senpai!"

The blonde ruffled his hair as Tobi laughed.

"Senpai, you're scared of bugs? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone... maybe."

"Shut up, I'm not scared! It's just disgusting, hm!"

Arguing happened almost everyday and Deidara knew he was on the edge of his patience. Deidara considered himself to be a very patient person.

However, their petty argument was interrupted by the Akatsuki Spy, Zetsu.

"Meeting."

As usual, all the Akatsuki members channeled some of their chakra to appear as holograms at the established meeting place. Deidara had already heard the news of Orochimaru's death and it angered him that he wasn't able to kill him first. Of course it just had to be that "prodigy" kid Sasuke Uchiha. It was always those damned Uchihas...

He glared at Itachi's hologram.

"Well, leaves me no choice but to find Sasuke and kill him, hm."

"But Senpai! How can you kill Sasuke when you're scared of bugs?"

"Shut up, Tobi! I will blow you up for sure once this meeting is over!"

"Silence!" The squabble immediately died down as the Akatsuki leader raised his voice.

"I got word you both attracted attention from one of the villages due to your infinite bickering and that is completely unacceptable. Since it is evident you obviously cannot work together, I have decided to separate you."

"I wouldn't mind at all, hn."

"Ouch, Senpai, you're hurting my feelings."

"Tobi, I want you to accompany Zetsu for now. And Deidara, I want you to be partnered with our prisoner. Come to the highest tower in the Hidden Rain Village. "

"Hm? That girl from the sound? What's so special about her?"

"Her Kekkei Genkai is Sound Release. She possesses the ability to manipulate her surrounding's and opponent's Jutsu with sound waves. That being said, she is obviously a musician and you might get along with her better."

"A musician, huh? Alright, I'll be on my way, hm."

He personally didn't respect any musicians, all they did was use their looks and talents to get women and overdose themselves with booze and drugs. But hopefully this musician girl would be different.

"After you pick your new partner up, immediately return to your assignment. Don't attract anymore attention; we need to stay low. And remember everyone: Failure is not an option. You are dismissed."

With the meeting over, the Akatsuki members' holograms dissipated and Deidara shifted his attention back to his original location.

"Time for me to head to the Hidden Rain, hm . Tobi, hand me the ring."

"Senpai ... are you really leaving me for another woman?"

"Ha?"

"I can't believe you're filing for a divorce already! You really are a playboy, Senpai!"

"What the hell? Stop saying weird shit and give me the ring, hm!"

"Why don't you catch me!" Tobi challenged before running around the blonde in circles. "I bet you can't-"

"Katsu!"

An explosion sent Tobi flying before falling head first into the ground like an ostrich.

Deidara sighed. "You're really hopeless, hm." He took the ring from his former partner's hands before pulling Tobi out of the ground.

"Yay! Senpai, you still care about me!"

" Whatever. Go be useful and help Zetsu."

" Yes sir!"

Deidara created a clay bird and jumped on the bird. He placed the ring that once belonged to Sasori and Tobi into his pocket before flying towards the sky.

-It's been a few days since I arrived at the Hidden Rain. Yesterday, Pain made me fight some shinobi to apparently determine if I was "worthy" of being kept alive. A few of them were quite tough but somehow I managed to kill them all. Right now, I was just waiting in a prison cell which seemed to be the punishment for my crimes. I had no idea what was going to happen to me and I was sick of waiting around. I wanted to get out.

I wasn't sure whether I could break the prison bars but the other bodies of pain- which I believe were the six paths- were constantly patrolling this area and I didn't want to risk making too much noise. On the other hand, there was a weird looking lock but if I had something thin and long with me, I might be able to lock pick it. Sadly, I didn't have anything with me. All of my belongings, including my guitar which I had used to fight with yesterday, were confiscated. Looking up and down, I couldn't find anything except maybe... the zipper of my pants. It would probably not work but it would be worth a try. The sooner I get out of here, the better.

I slightly raised my hips and placed the zipper in the keyhole, pushing it deeper and hoping it was deep enough. The pins must be somewhere-

"What the hell is she doing?"

I jolted away from the bars. Just a few feet away from the bars were Pain and another man wearing the Akatsuki cloak as well. How did I not hear them come?

The other man caught my eye. He was shorter than Pain and had very long blonde hair. Part of his hair was tied and bangs covered his left eye, and his right eye was sky blue. He was rather cute, if I had to admit.

"What were you doing, Anjira?" Pain's voice called me back to reality.

Oh shit. Did they suspect I was trying to get out? I would be in real in trouble if they did. But what other excuse would I have for having my crotch on the lock?

I couldn't think of anything else. "I was itchy."

Their faces immediately fell. I had done it. I had thrown away whatever little dignity I had left just to not get in trouble.

"... Are you sure she is stable enough to be my partner, hm?

Partner? What did he mean?

" Yes. Don't worry, she hasn't acted hostile at all. Considering the people we have in our organization, we shouldn't judge."

Panicking for real, I shifted my eyes back and forth to them, hoping to get some explanation.

" From today, you will be joining the Akatsuki."

"Wha- what?"

How did all of this happen?

"This is Deidara, who will be your partner. I have great expectations from you."

This was too much to take in. I took a deep breath to calm myself.

Right. Akatsuki operated in pairs, I have heard that. And I was partnered with a cute guy who thinks I'm a madwoman who scratches her crotch on metallic things. Some first impression, this is. Maybe I should have just told them I was really trying to break out. Maybe it was better if Pain just killed me. Death would be the real mercy at a time like this.

Deidara looked at me like I was covered in bird shit. I could just see it in his eyes- he was judging me _so hard_.

Someone help me.


	5. Understanding

I don't even know anymore. Two weeks have passed and so many things have already gone wrong. I don't even know what I'm supposed to feel at this point.

Pain unlocked the prison cell and telling me to follow them. Walking behind them with a sullen expression, I wondered if I could somehow turn all of this around. But being all by myself, it was probably not a good idea to antagonize the Akatsuki.

We reached the place where I was interrogated and the two men turned to me.

" You are now considered an official member of the Akatsuki. I expect your full cooperation and commitment." Pain declared.

Commitment. Ugh, that word made me shudder. I nodded in agreement, trailing my eyes down in disappointment before noticing the two Akatsuki members' painted toenails; my partner's toes were black while the leader's were painted in a fabulous red. What was up with that?

"Here."

My eyes shot up to see Konan holding out clothes to me, which apparently consisted of the cloak and some pants. I took them from her after glancing at her orange-painted nails. Why the different colors?

I brushed it off, deciding that it was really not the right time to worry about their nails. Konan beckoned to follow me her to a back room where I could change. As much as I tried not to make a small pout, I couldn't help it as I looked at her, slightly envying her. I could never be as beautiful and graceful as she was. I wish I could get some advice from her but I guess that wouldn't be happening anytime soon.

I sighed, closing the door behind me and changing into the new pants before putting the cloak on. Guess this is it. I just hoped joining wouldn't be another nightmare. But at least my belongings were here, which relieved me. I grabbed my guitar, affectionately stroking it. As long as I had it with me I would be able to pull through anything.

I took a deep breath to somewhat embrace myself to this sudden change and left the back room, presenting myself as a new member. The leader nodded and then gave me a purple ring with the character "Sphere" imprinted on it instructed me to specifically place it on my left thumb. It was warm as if someone had just worn it and made me shudder. I raised my brow in hope he'd explain why but he just returned me his usual blank stare. Then, Konan handed me a small white bottle with a label that read "nail polish". So I too had to put on nail polish. Why white though? I'm not particularly fond of this color…

I looked at the three, hoping they would at least tell me something but no. Why this ring? Why this nail polish? Why anything?

"That is all then. Return to your assignment. I have business to attend to." The leader asserted before he and Konan walked away.

But what was my assignment? Why were they making me join them without telling me what I was supposed to do?

"Yeah. Let's go, hm." My partner grunted, signaling me to follow.

I guess there was no one else to ask aside from my partner, but from the way he looked at me, it didn't seem like he was exceptionally happy to be my partner.

As we reached the open space to leave, I was greeted with the sight of a big bird in pure white, which Deidara jumped on.

"Get on." He commanded.

A quick rush of excitement filled me. I was actually going to ride on a bird! I have never seen such a huge bird in my entire life. So this was probably his pet. Perhaps if I make friends with his pet, he might not be feel so repulsed about me anymore.

" Woah, aren't you pretty-"

I instantly regretted my choice. Instead of being feathery, it was cold and smooth as if made of clay. I cursed myself in my mind for realizing that a bird's beak and legs should not be white. Is my eyesight really that bad?

I looked up to Deidara, and to say he had a shocked expression was a complete understatement. Horrified, was more like it.

"... What the hell are you doing ..."

There goes my chance of making things between us less awkward. I wondered what else I could possibly fuck up.

"... Just get on already, hm!" He snapped, exasperation clear in his voice.

I jumped on the bird behind him, deciding to just keep my mouth shut and not do anything. The bird set off and swiftly flew to the horizon. In such a short time, we were so high from the ground I could barely see anything.

The ride was rather silent, and soon enough it stopped raining, signifying that we have already left the hidden rain and Deidara finally spoke up.

"You know, I'm flattered that someone finds my art to be realistic but I didn't think anyone seeing it up that close would mistake it to be for a real bird, hn." He turned to me.

"Art?" I raised my brow.

"That's right, hm. My art…" For the first time since meeting him, he grinned and his eyes lit up. He reached down to the bag attached to his waist, clasped something white in his hand before a smaller white animated bird flew towards me.

"... is an explosion!"

The bird blew up in an instant with a loud bang just a meter away from my face.

"How is it? True beauty is found in that fleeting moment of an explosion, hn."

So his art was exhibitional, like mine. Well, more like he constructed his creations, which complete the exhibition by exploding to demonstrate a concept which he considered as art; if I understood correctly. An enthralling idea about art, if you ask me.

"That's an interesting concept." I responded and nodded as to approve. His grin grew even wider, looking almost maniacal.

"Right, all things are destined to crumble, but their existence become sublime when they explode! That transient moment of a blast is true art, hn! And my art has already reached perfection! "

Passion was burning in his eye. No, it was more than that. Something I was just too familiar with.

 _Obsession._

But that was exactly how it should be. Artists are supposed to be fiercely passionate about their art, otherwise they aren't true artists. It was very refreshing to finally talk to someone who had his own ambitions and upheld his own ideas, unlike everyone from the hideout who kept yapping lord Orochimaru this, lord Orochimaru that...

I love art, and I love hearing the different perspectives of other artists. I love hearing and looking at other forms of art.

"I guess things that are short-lived are beautiful as you happen to appreciate them more when they're gone… but I suppose when they end it should be in a sensational way. "

"Exactly, hm. An explosion leaves such a beautiful impact in just a flash of an eye."

I'm not sure if I fully understood his concept but I think I got the idea and he seemed to turn even more excited as he further explained his art to me. I assume I'm on his good side now; that's what I hoped at least. He did seem very enthusiastic though, compared to earlier.

He created a butterfly this time and it exploded above our heads. He grinned at me, looking very proud of his creation and maintained his eye on me. I returned an awkward smile before quickly looking away, unsure what kind of expression I was supposed to make.

"I didn't expect you to have such a splendid vision on art, hn." There was a hint of interest in his eye.

"Why don't you tell me about yours." He held out his hand, which to my surprise, had a mouth on it. I tried to hide my bewilderment as much as possible, but I couldn't help get distracted.

"Well, I... "

 _Touch it._

No, stop putting weird ideas in my head. Stay quiet.

"Ah, we're here." His voice brought my attention back to him and the bird started descending. Just a few seconds later, we landed on what appeared to be an outskirt of a forest next to a plain grass field. Deidara looked around before commenting "This looks like a good place to start the search, hm."

"Search for what?"

"Hm? Leader didn't tell you? We're looking for the Three-tails."

"Three-tails? It's here?"

"I don't know. That's why we have to search around for information. Let's go."

"Aren't tailed beasts sealed inside a jinchuriki or something?"

"There have been rumors that it got extracted from the original jinchuriki and now roams around freely but someone else probably caught it by now, hm." He explained, seemingly calmer than when we first met.

We entered the forest, the leaves shielding us from the sunlight. It was rather quiet, all I could hear was the occasional chirping of birds. I don't know what kind of information we could find here, if there even something we could find hear, but Deidara was my senior here so I would just follow him. I'm sure he knows what he was doing. I hope, at least.


	6. Spiralling Panic

Deidara was initially excited to have another artistic partner but his excitement quickly perished as he saw his new partner somewhat grinding her crotch on the prison bars.

He couldn't help but frown as he studied her. Slender and slightly muscular, a bit taller than him, dark messy hair, dark brown eyes with long lashes, a dog collar, and ripped clothing that only an edgy wanna-be rock star would wear. She could be pretty if she fixed herself but right now she just looked crazy, as if she had gotten high not too long ago. She certainly reinforced the stereotype of musicians.

As the Leader released her from her cell and allowed her to get changed, he whispered to him. "Are you sure she's not on drugs?"

"We checked her belongings, there were none."

This worried him even more, which only meant she really had a few screws loose in her head.

She returned from changing, wearing the Akatsuki cloak and carrying what he guessed was supposed to be an electric guitar although it was almost the size of a cello. It was dark violet with a lot of strings and buttons and other shenanigans. The lower part looked thinner and sharper than the other guitar parts and he could only deduce she used that side like a blade to kill people. Killing people with a guitar seemed rather ridiculous and hilarious at the same time.

"That is all then. Return to your assignment. I have business to attend to." The leader dismissed them and he lead his partner outside. He just hoped this girl wouldn't be as handful as Tobi was.

"Get on." He commanded after jumping on the bird.

She didn't jump on, instead she smiled and started petting the bird. She wasn't actually retarded, was she?

"... What the hell are you doing…"

She must have noticed too and her face immediately fell. He sighed, irritated about this situation. He had just traded an idiot for another idiot.

"Just get on already, hm!"

He flew into the sky right away she jumped on his bird, and left the Village of the Hidden Rain.

She was surprisingly quiet, rather contradictory of what he had expected. Usually musicians were very narcissistic and self-absorbed people. She wore a doubtful expression on her face as he glanced at her. He took a deep breath to calm himself. Maybe he was being too harsh on her. Leader had said he tortured her for information and the validity of them, so maybe she was acting weird because of that. He should try again. He might find out more about Sasuke Uchiha and on top of all that, she was an artist too, so he expected to have a somewhat meaningful discussion about art.

"You know, I'm flattered that someone finds my art to be realistic but I didn't think anyone seeing it up that close would mistake it to be for a real bird, hn."

"Art?" There was a spark of curiosity in her eyes. This might be the chance to show off his art.

"That's right, hm. My art… is an explosion!" He shifted his eye back to her, eager to gouge out her reaction.

"That's an interesting concept." She smiled and nodded. Feeling enthusiastic and confident as ever, he elucidated the concept more thoroughly to her. She listened to him and even gave her own interpretation about his art, which elated him even more. She was willing to understand his art.

The beauty of the moment, the sudden burst, the disunity, the chaos in the explosion was true art. There was nothing more beautiful than that brief yet sublime moment. And it was a shame how people could not appreciate it. But she could.

It really paid off sometimes to be patient with someone. He had his fair share of having his patience tested with Tobi, and Sasori probably should have learned not to be so impatient either.

Now fully interested as to what her vision of art was, he wanted to get to know her better. He spotted an area where they could start the search for the three tails and it seemed like a better place to talk about art.

-"So, leader told me you were a musician, hm? Some kind of rocker?"

"Sorta, yeah. Alternative rock is my personal preference and the genre I composed most songs with, for both combat or just playing for fun. But I have accepted that people have different tastes in music so I try to experiment with as much genres as I can…"

I could ramble about my art as much as he could, but thankfully he didn't seem annoyed or anything, just a bit… confused, I think? I tried not to get too carried away and keep my explanation as simple as possible but I was elated to share my own artistic sentiments with someone who was willing to listen.

"I wanted to travel around, see new places, and find more inspiration for my music and somehow ended up in the Hidden Rain and well… that's how this whole thing started."

"Well, it's not that bad… hm. You can still concentrate on your art. Just like I am." He narrowed his eyes for a split second, looking irate, but immediately went back to normal.

"We should rest here for a bit. I heard Leader tortured quite a bit, hm. Are you okay?"

"Eh, I've been through worse."

"Pretty forgiving, huh? But this is our leader after all and he's not one to mess with, hm."

"Didn't take me long to figure that out." I crouched and squatted on the ground, leaning against a tree before drinking some water. We had our own supplies, including rations, funds, clothes, and other necessities sealed in a scroll. Very convenient since I would no longer have to worry about starving, which was great. Things weren't too bad after all.

Deidara sat down across and rolled up his sleeves, looking at what looked like two nasty flesh wounds around his elbow, the stitches painfully holding the limbs together. It looked like it had been torn off.

"It's almost healed, hm… " He murmured.

Now, I'm not a doctor or anything but that appeared far from being 'almost healed', in fact, it was still bleeding.

"What happened to that?"

"I lost my arms, hm."

He was being extremely casual about it, but it must really hurt regardless. Poor boy.

"Oh, I'm… sorry. Work must be pretty dangerous, huh?" I said, hoping not to offend him. What do I say to people who just lost their limbs to make them feel better?

"It's nothing. But it was probably too much to take on two jinchurikis, hm…"

He told me about how he lost his first arm when he fought and defeated the fifth Kazekage, who was the host of the one-tails, and his other arm while fighting the copy-ninja Kakashi Hatake whilst also trying to capture the nine-tails.

I looked at him, a little bit dazzled. Not that I doubted that him, but he must be really strong and capable if he could fight all these people with missing arms. Quite awesome too, if I had to admit.

But that was enough gawking at him, I grabbed my guitar and moved closer to him. He was my partner now and he seemed like a decent fellow so I should help him in any way I can.

"Hm? What are you doing?"

I ignored him and started playing. Music can do a lot of things, it can make people feel a wide range of emotions, it can confuse, it can drive mad, it can connect people and it can heal. Despite being a musician myself, I still couldn't fully understand the impact music had on people, but it had helped me go through so much.

"Hm? It's healing."

I played for a few minutes until his wounds completely closed and the bleeding stopped. He examined both of his arms for a moment before flashing me a wide grin.

"Thanks. It should be easier to make my creations now, hm…"

It was a casual expression of gratitude, but genuine nonetheless. It had been a couple of years since anyone had thanked me that sincerely and warmed my heart. Not many people realized how much I pour out my soul playing healing songs and I had healed so many goddamned people that never showed any form of appreciation.

We talked a bit more about art. I wanted to know more about him, such as how long he had been working with his art, where he came from, how he joined the Akatsuki and all that, but wouldn't be a good idea to bombard him with so many questions. I would eventually find out.

"Oi, you still haven't put on your nail polish, hm."

"Oh, right… "

I pulled out the small bottle from my pocket, studying it since I had never used nail polish in my entire life before. Surprisingly enough, there were no instructions. Well, whatever, it was just nail polish so all I needed to do was pain it on my nails. How hard could it be?

I opened the cap, taking out the brush that was covered in a pure white color. I shuddered, thinking how I must be the only rock musician wearing white nail polish.

"Say… why exactly do I need to wear one in this particular color?"

"So that no one will imposter you. No jutsu can imitate nail polish."

"... I see." I didn't know that. But I supposed that made sense… I guess?

I started brushing the surface of my index nail, the white color just spread all over. So messy.

"Oi, why are you brushing it like that? You're supposed to brush it in just one direction in order for the texture to look and feel smooth… hm."

I bit my lip, rather embarrassed that I could fail at something as simple as this. I followed as he advised me but it still turned very messy and anything but smooth.

"Good grief, are you really girl?" He sighed. "Didn't you have any girl friends to practice with or something?"

Girl friends, huh? No, I never really had any, nor did I have any boy friends either. I didn't have any friends at all, to be honest.

Well, the closest thing I had to a female friend was probably Tayuya, but in terms of being feminine, she was even worse than me. We mostly just insulted each other and degraded each others' music and instruments. I've always wanted to fight her, but that bitch had the nerve to die off before a duel ever happened.

"You poor soul. Well, you healed me anyway so I might as well return the favor by helping you out, hm. Give me the brush."

I hesitantly handed him the brush, ashamed of myself. He was a guy but knew how to paint nails better than me. I can't blame him though, he was a man of style after all, it was obvious just looking at him. He presented himself with charisma and his hair just looked so smooth and beautiful, it was almost envying.

He took the brush from my hands before gently pulling my hand towards him, which startled me. It was such a weird feeling being touched by someone and not getting hurt. He placed my hand on the rock beside him, holding my hand with his two fingers while brushing my nails with the other.

His fingers remained on my hand as I tried my best to keep my shit together. No one has ever touched me like that,and it made me feel so uncomfortable, but at the same time it felt nice. Too nice, even. Skin on skin, but there was no malice, no violence, no attempted murder… just a harmless touch.

And he just concentrated on painting my nails as if it was the most normal thing to do. He was so close. Could he smell me? How did I smell? It's been a long time since I last took a shower. Do I smell bad? Is the thinking of how much I stink right now?

"Hm? Why are you shaking?" He looked up to me, a confused expression on his face.

What could I possibly tell him? That I wasn't used to people being gentle with me?

I just looked away, pretending to see something interesting in the nearest tree. He followed my gaze and upon realizing there wasn't anything, he just continued painting in silence. One hand was finally done and he took my other hand, doing the exact same thing.

Who knew something like that could overwhelm me so easily? Above anything else, I thought I was used to extreme situations, having spent years in such a harsh place. But the fact that a very cute guy was painting my nails spiraled me into panic.

One more finger and it would be over with. Please hurry, I can't… It's too much.

 _It's not enough._

Don't do this to me.

"Alright, looks good, hm!"

A wave of relief washed over, grateful for this act to be over.

"Thank you-"

"Your toes are up next."

"... What?"

Oh no, not the toes. He was not going to paint my toenails, was he?

"Move here, hm."

I nervously turned my legs towards him but the very moment his hands touched my feet I just lost it.

"Haaaaaaaa-hahahahaha!"

Deidara looked at me in complete astoundment.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I think I got it!" I snatched the nail polish from him before racing away from the scene.

After the reaching a safe distance from him, I allowed myself to completely freak out. I would have to think of a good excuse later, I thought to myself while screaming internally.


	7. Slaves for Art

Fortunately for me, Deidara didn't ask too many questions about the earlier incident. In fact, he seemed way more interested in continuing our discussion about art, much to my relief. I turned my full attention to him as he yet again taught me about the concept of his art as we continued walking through this forest.

I had to admit I adored the way his eye would light up when he would talk about his art, the occasional mischievous grin he would flaunt every now and then and the way he would dramatically show off his hands. He really was an interesting person.

Not only were his looks and gestures intriguing, even his voice was incredibly mesmerizing. Being a musician, it was only natural for me to pay more attention to people's voices.

He had a deep, masculine voice and the way he spoke was feisty. It was full of passion and pride, signifying he was a strong individual who firmly believed in his ideals and wouldn't take shit from anybody. He also had a habit of making nasal grunts at the end of his sentences which I found endearing. I could listen to him all day, regardless of what he would talk about.

I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to know where he came from, how long he had been practicing his art, why he defected his village, how he joined the Akatsuki and so on.

Judging from the headband, he must be from the Hidden Stone.

After he blew up a small bird, I nodded and grinned at him.

"How long have you been working on your art?"

"The beauty of an explosion has fazed me since I can remember… hm.. " He gazed to where the bird had exploded, a fond expression on his face.

I smiled. Looked like we both started young. It seemed that he and I were very similar in this aspect. This wasn't just a part-time gig. Our art was more than work or a hobby… it was a way of life.

"So… you're from the Hidden Stone? How well was your art received?"

"People from that damned village have no sense of beauty or whatsoever, hm! Especially that the third Tsuchikage Onoki, who always mocked and looked down on my art!" He angrily raised his voice. "It's a good thing I bombed the place years ago, and I'll go back to finish that old fart off for good, hm!"

I slightly raised my brow, although I couldn't be too surprised about it. It suited his personality.

He told me about his life when he still lived in the Hidden Stone. He was very passionate about his art since he was young but no one respected it and treated him like a lunatic. The closest thing he had as a family was a girl named Kurotsuchi but she too didn't understand his art. Despite all this, he was recognized for his talent and joined the explosion corps. However, staying in the village did not satisfy him as an artist.

"I later stole village's kinjutsu before leaving to start my quest in finding the ultimate art… hm. I then started aiding anti-government factions for a while..."

I envied him a little. His art could actually be a livelihood for him and his skills were very useful to those who engage in wars. It wouldn't be a surprise if that's how he got the attention of the Akatsuki. I ,on the other hand, had to live off scraps when I started my career. Regardless, I continued listening to him, curious about he ended up joining our current organization.

"... It was all going well until _he_ came along. Itachi Uchiha." His eye burned with anger and hate, he pronounced the name in a deadly hiss as if it was poison on his tongue. "Those damned Sharingan eyes… they disrespect my art!"

I was rather surprised to say the least by his sudden angry outburst, as well as hearing about Sasuke's older brother, but I remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

"The Akatsuki recruited me and that's how I met him but I wasn't interested at first, hm. He challenged me into a fight and he just seemed so confident that he could defeat me, I couldn't stand it!"

Basically, he carried a grudge for Itachi for defeating him. It may seem petty, but it can quite painful to be told that one's art is not good enough.

"That's why I'm going to give him a taste of my ultimate art, hm!" He cockily continued. "But first, I'll go after his younger brother Sasuke for killing Orochimaru before I got the chance to… hm."

"... Orochimaru?" I repeated, cringing at the name and feeling bile rising up my throat.

"That's right. I've always wanted to kill that bastard but Sasuke Uchiha had to ruin it for me, hm. To think some brat with the Sharingan could finish him off. I bet it was only because of his genes rather than having any sort of talent, hm!"

I frowned. While others would find him rather petty for this, I perfectly understood the unfair favoritism Orochimaru showed when it came to those with good genes and extraordinary powers. He would use and torture irrelevant people like me to cultivate the likes of those he considered "special",

I wasn't special, my blood was worthless, but all my skills were a result of hard work. All of my jutsus and songs were invented by me. I poured out my heart and soul into them to become what I've always wanted to be. A true musician. A real artist.

Not once were my efforts recognized. All that mattered was that my body could give him the results of his experiments. I was raised like pig for slaughter and fed to the pretty zoo animals like Sasuke Uchiha who everyone adored because of his breed. But the pig didn't die. It gets fixed so that it can get slaughtered again. A cycle that lasted far too long. I couldn't help but also feel resentment towards those Orochimaru favored.

 _Hypocrite._

My frown deepened. I didn't like to think about this.

"Hoi, what are you spacing out for?"

Deidara's voice broke me out of my sentiments and I returned to my usual composure, giving him a nod.

"You've met Sasuke when you were still under Orochimaru, right?"

"Ya."

"Can you help me find him?"

I pondered for a moment, processing his request before agreeing.

"Alright. I don't know where he is but rest assured he will be looking for Itachi." I told him.

"That's good to hear." He grinned. "Let's go looking for the three-tails and Sasuke Uchiha, hm!"

I gave him a small smile before looking up to the sky for no particular reason.

"Hmm? What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing. Are you the only artist in the Akatsuki?" I changed the grim subject, wishing to talk about something other than Orochimaru.

"As of now, yeah, but my previous partner also pursued art although we constantly clashed, hm. He believed art should be eternal and everlasting, which contradicts mine."

"Oh, that's interesting. What kind of works did he make?"

"Puppetry, hm. Not really my thing although I respected his works."

"What happened to him?"

"He was killed after we captured the One-tails, which is ironic since he believed in eternal beauty."

"I suppose it is. What a shame."

I would have loved to meet his former partner and listen to his vision of art. It sounded very interesting.

"What do you think of art being eternal?" Deidara asked me.

"I think it's also very interesting. It's nice to admire something that doesn't change but there's a risk that others will take it for granted if it remains the same."

"You're right, hm. Art is fluid." Deidara nodded in agreement. "In my opinion, his work lack a form of excitement in them."

"What was he like?"

"Well, my man Sasori was always very impatient but very calculating and organized. He would always prepare beforehand, hm. He was also very resourceful. He would brainwash spies to make them work for him. I'm sure you know Kabuto, hm? He was a spy for my man Sasori to gather information about Orochimaru."

"Kabuto? He seemed very loyal to Orochimaru…"

"I guess that's just what spies do, hm. Actually, My man Sasori was partnered with Orochimaru before he betrayed the Akatsuki."

"I see… small world."

We fell into silence again. Deidara must have sensed my discomfort so he cleared his throat and changed the subject.

"The most respectable thing about my man Sasori is that he turned himself into a puppet. He killed himself as a human being to become one with his art, hm…"

"How is that possible?"

"Well, I'm not supposed to tell you but since he is dead it doesn't matter, hm. He preserved his heart to stay alive. He could never become a complete puppet…"

"That's depressing but very impressive as well."

"I don't want to admit it but I have to agree with you, hm."

"But that's what true artists do. We kill, exhaust, hurt ourselves and make so many sacrifices to complete our art."

"You are absolutely right, hm.."

I felt a lot better now knowing that there were artist going through such extreme lengths for their art, such as Deidara and his former partner. Well, it's not like we have another choice. We are slaves for our art and would do anything for it. Our own crafts were our own prisons that we could never escape, or rather, we'd never want to escape.


	8. Respect

While she occasionally displayed some bizarre behaviors, she was fairly easy to talk to and Deidara enjoyed conversing with her. It had been a while since he had such an in-depth discussion about art. The last time he had one was with Sasori before his death although they constantly disagreed about a lot of things, if not pretty much everything. This time, however, there were a lot of points he could agree on with her.

He spend a good time talking about himself and his art but he realized he barely knew anything about her.

"Well, how about you, hm? How long have you been playing?"

"Since I was very young, before I was taken by Orochimaru. As far as I can remember, I just taught myself."

"What were you doing before that?"

"I honestly don't remember. I was only 5 or 6 years old when he kidnapped me." She furrowed her eyebrows. "I think I had a family but I can't really remember them."

"And were you able to keep practicing after that?"

"For the first couple of years I wasn't able to. I was restrained in those experiments of his."

Deidara frowned. He couldn't even imagine living a life where he would be restrained from doing his art. That seemed like the ultimate torture for him.

"But when I got older I was discharged from those experiments and was ordered to do missions for him instead. That was the time where I began honing my skills. But eventually, I had to be part of another experiment again for Sasuke Uchiha." She continued.

"What was it like being experimented with?"

"Well, it wasn't particular comfortable, if that's what you're asking." She said in a bitter tone before flashing him a crooked grin, but her eyes looked downcast.

"Did it hurt?"

Her eyes widened as she looked at him with a shocked expression. It was a simple question, all she had to answer was either yes or no, but based on her expression it was rather obvious which answer it was.

But regardless, she responded anyway.

"Well… yeah."

He knew how disgusting Orochimaru really was. Sasori would always tell him stories about that disturbing snake and there was no doubt that someone like Orochimaru needed to die. He was a traitor and an abomination. And hearing another experience coming directly from her mouth just fueled his hate towards him. Sasori had vowed to kill Orochimaru with his own hands but after his death, Deidara had decided to carry his grudge out. And Sasuke would be the one to receive this grudge.

The two fell into silence. Although it was subtle, he could see that the topic at hand was making her uncomfortable so he decided to change the subject.

"So, you met Sasuke Uchiha, hm? What's he like?"

"I don't know him that well but if I had to use a word to describe my first impression on him it would probably be 'bratty'. You know, the kind of kid who thinks he's better than everyone else and obnoxiously demands everyone around."

"Huh. Sounds like the Uchiha brothers are both equally deplorable, hm." He spat out.

"Is Itachi like that too?"

"I'd like to believe Itachi is more mature than that but he too has that arrogance."

He started talking about his hatred towards the Sharingan again and Anjira closely listened to what he had to say, which he appreciated. So far, she was probably the best listener he had ever met. The way she looked at him unsettled him a little bit at first as it looked she was constantly spacing out, but he found out that she was actually paying close attention. He supposed that it was just the way her eyes looked. Very dreamy, filled with unfathomable emotions and whatever else might be going through her head.

The sun set as the duo reached the end of the forest, greeted by another plain grass field and Deidara realized it was useless continuing the search in this area. It was a bad idea to remain in one place so he decided to continue the search somewhere else. He created a bird and jumped on it, beckoning his new partner to follow him and rose up to the sky.

He used his eye scope to locate a different place. It would probably also be wise to head to a village as their supplies were getting less. After a few minutes he located a lone building which looked like an inn for travelers. It wouldn't hurt to rest for the night. In fact, he hadn't gotten any proper sleep after losing his arms.

"We're gonna check in there, hm." He told her, pointing at the inn.

"Yeah, sounds good."

As soon as the bird took them to their destination, Deidara jumped off and entered the inn, proceeding to book rooms for the two. He bid his partner good night and went inside his room to relax.

The room was quite small and rather empty, with just a bed and table at the center, but he didn't expect anything else, the rooms were very cheap. He fell into a disturbed slumber after tucking himself in bed.

He woke up some time later, sweating all over. The room was too humid. He got up and opened the window to let some fresh air in. A light breeze blew his hair which was just what he needed. He took a peek at the window next him, which belonged to his partner's room. Light emitted from inside, which meant that Anjira was still awake. Why wasn't she asleep yet? It was already really late.

He climbed out to the roof and entered her window.

"Hey, what's up?" She casually greeted him upon seeing him, wearing only a tank top and her underwear while sitting at the table and scribbling on what appeared to be a notebook.

For a moment, he regretted just entering her room without warning. No matter how boyish she acted, she was a girl and he still had to respect her privacy, although she didn't seem to mind at all. She hadn't even scolded him or anything, he was already here so he decided to find out what made her stay up this late.

"Not going to sleep yet, hm? What are you writing?"

"I'm working on a song. It's almost finished." She answered, continuing to write.

He took a peek at the sheet and saw dozens of notes and other numbers and characters.

"What is that?" He pointed at one of the characters.

"Oh, that's the treble clef. It indicates the pitch of the notes."

She further explained the different parts of her music sheet. He didn't really understand everything she was telling him, and neither was he really interested as he found it too complex, but he commended her intellect. He still thought her to be a bit odd, but he didn't doubt her intelligence.

Looking away from the sheet as it started to give him a light headache, he turned his attention to her dog collar.

"Why are you still wearing that? You look like a dog, hm."

"... Did you just call me a bitch?"

"Ha? That's not what I meant! I just meant that it doesn't look artistic at all!"

"Calm down, I was just messing with you. I'll take it off if it bothers you so much." She proceeded to remove the dog collar, exposing the cursed seal mark on her neck.

"So, you have one too... "

"Of course. What did you expect?" A bitter laugh escaped her lips.

"Why are you covering it, hm?"

"Cause it will attract unnecessary attention. It might start a fight or even worse, an awkward conversation."

He scrutinized her, thinking how strange she was but if he had to admit to himself, he would probably prefer a battle over an uncomfortable conversation as well.

"Alright, I'm done." She announced and slid her pants on before grabbing her guitar and reopening the window Deidara had just entered through earlier.

"Hm? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to practice what I just wrote." She answered and jumped out of the window.

"But it's already late. Shouldn't you get some sleep?"

"I'm not gonna get an ounce of sleep if I don't play what I just worked on."

Deidara hesitated at first but decided to follow her out of sheer curiosity. She continued to walk farther away from away from the inn.

"Hoi! Where are you going?"

"Won't be too far. Just need to make sure I'm out of everyone's earshot." She replied.

She stopped after a few minutes of walking but at least the inn was still in sight. After studying the music sheet for a while, she tucked it in her pocket and began playing.

Loud, angry droning sounds blared off her guitar, causing Deidara to cover his ears and taking a step back. It was unpleasantly loud and he wondered how she hadn't become deaf yet.

He took more steps back until the blaring no longer caused distress to his ears. He questioned her taste in music as it was unnecessarily loud and dramatic. Not that he knew much about music but it certainly wasn't to his liking. He wanted to leave but he wanted to fully evaluate her.

She did however seem very skilled at what she was doing, fingers rapidly moving over the strings, plucking and drumming away as if there was no tomorrow. It sort of reminded him Sasori when he would fiercely move his fingers to control his puppets.

But what captured him the most were her facial expressions during her performance. He saw her play once when she healed him, but this seemed to be on a whole new level, it fascinated him. Her expressions would range from looking serene, elated, furious, melancholic, frustrated, maniacal or as if she was about to cry, depending on the intensity of the tune she played.

She was in absolute focus. It was as if she was completely lost in her own world where only her music mattered and nothing else existed. This wasn't just a show, she was pouring her entire heart and soul into that performance. That in itself was very artistic and him. He could feel the ferocious passion in that temporary moment she was playing. Perhaps that was why they got along so well.

While he might not be entirely enthusiastic about her works, he held a lot of respect for her and he wanted to know more about her as an artist.


	9. The Meeting

There were just some days were waking up just didn't work out for me.

"Anjira, get up, we need to go, hm." I heard Deidara knock on my door. Looking out the window, I realized it was early morning.

"Am comin'." I slurred, forcing myself to leave the bed and staggering to the bathroom, feeling all dizzy and groggy.

I brushed my teeth, trying to my best to stay awake, before haphazardly combing my hair. Melodies and voices were pretty much always in my head but today was especially noisy and annoying. I don't get what the excitement was all about.

Well, maybe because of last night when Deidara watched me play. It was a bit embarrassing and I'm not entirely sure if he even enjoyed my performance but he stuck around until the end which I appreciated a lot and made me internally giggle like a silly teenager. Thinking about it made me blush, and I tried my best to keep a straight face.

"Alright, settle down, everyone…" I grumbled, finishing up in the bathroom and quickly threw on my clothes so I could meet him.

There he was looking all fresh and gorgeous as usual, while I was a complete mess. A whiff of shampoo, sulfur and clay was detected by my nose, primarily coming from his hair. A funny combination but not unpleasant. I wish I could just stay here and smell his hair but there was work to do.

"Mornin'." I greeted him with sleepy eyes, smiling at him even though my head felt like bursting.

"Told you to sleep early. You look like crap, hm." He replied bluntly.

It hurt a little but he wasn't wrong. It was just like him to be so bold and honest, but I suppose it was better than sugar coating it.

"Yeah, I might need some coffee before we leave. D'you mind?"

"No, let's go, hm." He nodded.

We headed to the bar downstairs, which served a variety of food and drinks, including coffee, tea and alcoholic beverages. Deidara sat next to me as he ordered tea while I ordered some sake.

"Sake? You said you were getting coffee!" He protested.

"I changed my mind."

"We can't go on a mission if you're drunk, hm!"

"I'm not gonna get drunk, I just need to wake up."

"Then why don't you just get coffee?"

"It's not enough." Indeed, ordinary coffee was not enough to make this throbbing headache go away.

"You're not even gonna eat anything?" He continued nagging.

"Nah. Don't worry about it, alright?" I waved my hand in dismissal as the bartender served our drinks. I proceeded to gulp mine down. In a matter of seconds, my headache subsided a little but I felt my kidney cry.

"Wait, a minute, hm." His eye widened as if realization hit him. "Are you even old enough to drink?"

I looked at him in shock before glancing around. It's not like I wanted to lie to him but the bartender was literally within earshot.

"Of course." I bluffed.

"Bullshit. There's no way you could be older than me, hm."

I looked at him in disbelief. This very Akatsuki member who also happened to be a terrorist bomber wasn't old enough to drink either? I stifled a laugh.

"Tell me, hm." His expression was completely serious.

"16." I whispered.

"16?"

"Shh, keep it down!" I hissed, glimpsing at the bartender.

It was already too late, though. The bartender overheard our conversation and angrily threw us out of the bar. I wanted to fight him, but there were other people around and our leader had instructed us not to attract any unnecessary attention so we left in defeat.

"That didn't go too well." I commented.

"That's entirely your fault, hm. Seriously, save the drinking for when we actually complete our mission."

"Sorry, but I need to be awake." I flashed him an apologetic grin.

"So young and already an alcoholic." He dramatically shook his head.

"I'm not…" I pouted. "Well, you know my age now, so what is yours?"

"19."

"That's not so bad. One more year and you'll be old enough to drink."

"Frankly, I'm not really interested, hm."

"Fair enough." I replied. "How old are the other members?"

"It's a pain in the ass to remember everyone's ages but the oldest is 91."

"91? Wow. Is he still kicking it?"

"Don't let it fool you, he'll kill you if you get on his nerves. He also stitched my arms together."

I whistled, rather impressed. It was also reassuring to know that there was someone who could stitch my limbs together incase I lose some.

"How about the youngest?"

"You, hm."

"So… before me, you were the baby of the Akatsuki." I mused.

"Baby? Seriously?" He groaned. "Well, since you are the baby now I'll make sure to let everyone else know the next time we have a meeting, hm."

"What? Why? I was just kidding…"

"Too late." He smirked, looking all smug.

The teasing went on as we transferred to another area via Deidara's bird. This time we headed to a mountain area and I hoped we'd eventually find something.

We climbed the slope of the mountain in silence. Upon reaching the top I took a deep breath of the fresh mountain air, but my tranquility was interrupted by this strange feeling of being watched.

I glanced at Deidara who didn't seem to have noticed anything. I looked around before I saw something weird that had grown on one of the trees.

It was some kind of plant but there was a person inside, but it didn't really look like a person, it was black and white and wore the Akatsuki Cloak. It looked incredibly disfigured, reminding me of some of the test subjects back then. I wondered if I should attack it but then again it was wearing the Akatsuki cloak so maybe it's a ally? I thought for a moment before deciding that the best course of action was to ask my partner.

"Deidara, what is that?" I asked, pointing at the creature.

He raised his brow, looking at the direction before his face lit up.

"Zetsu! What's up, hm? Tobi being a nincompoop again?"

Apparently that thing is named Zetsu.

"Tobi is alright." He answered

"So, that is the new member." He spoke again, voice much deeper this time. I realized the halves were different persons. Reminds me a bit of Sakon and Ukon.

"I was hoping she would look cuter." The lighter side commented.

My eyebrow twitched. Was it really necessary to say that right in my face?

"A bit too thin but still edible." The darker one replied.

"The skin looks very appetizing."

I took a step back, completely repulsed by this stupid house plant. First they insult my face, then they voice out their cannibalistic desires towards me. I tightened the grip around my guitar.

"Oi, you didn't come here all the way just to eat my partner, did you?" The blonde replied.

Zetsu grinned.

"The Two-tails has been caught."

"Already?" Deidara's face fell.

"Pain wants us to seal it now."

"Alright, we'll be there in a bit, hm."

Zetsu absorbed himself back into the tree and vanished. I watched the position he just disappeared to, staying on guard in case he just randomly pops out and eats me.

"Let's go." He instructed.

"Okay." I nodded and followed him, still looking around for Zetsu.

"Don't mind Zetsu too much. He's a creep but as long as you're an active member of the Akatsuki, he won't eat you, hm."

"Well, isn't that reassuring..."

After a reaching a specific spot, he muttered "Here should be good enough..." and created some clay spiders and birds.

"We're gonna seal the two-tails, hm. Need to make sure no one attacks us while we're busy." He told me.

I blinked at him, not entirely following what he's trying to get at.

"Sit down, hm." He gestured towards the rock and I sat beside him. He began teaching me a specific jutsu, although he didn't explain what it was for. He said that this will take 3 days which confused me even more. Regardless, I followed what he demonstrated and as soon as I closed my eyes, I found myself in a dark cave.

I was standing on what looked like a thumb of a giant hand statue. I looked around and saw other holograms occupying the remaining fingertips, their figures obscure but their eyes were clear which were without a doubt, were the other Akatsuki members.

I couldn't help but feel apprehensive being surrounded by a bunch of S-rank criminals whose faces I couldn't discern but hopefully they can't harm me like this.

I looked for Deidara and it took me a while to spot him. He was the second furthest away from me, which made me a little uneasy, even though in real life he was just sitting right next to me.

I could see Pain beside him who was the furthest from me, his Rinnegan crystal clear. Next to Deidara I could recognize Konan, beside her was a pair of Sharingan eyes which distinctively belonged to Itachi Uchiha. Beside him was that creep Zetsu from earlier.

The pinky of the hand I was settled on was empty and had originally belonged to Orochimaru but he had never returned the ring. On the ring finger was a pair of yellow shark-like eyes which I assumed was Itachi's partner. Next to him was a pair of red eyes with green irises and a pair of fuchsia ones right beside me. I had no idea who they were.

The last person I noticed was a blonde kunoichi with bloody hands lying on the ground, the only one who was not a hologram. She had to be the host for the two-tails.

"So, we get to meet the new member." Someone said, who I assumed was Itachi's partner, Kisame.

I could feel their eyes on me, worsening my anxiety.

"Yeah, and she understands what true art is, hm!" Deidara boasted.

I bit my lip, embarrassed he was putting me on the pedestal like that. The other members didn't particularly look impressed either.

"Great, now we have another weirdo." The guy positioned next to me commented.

"Hidan, don't forget you are the weirdest among us." The guy next to him replied.

"Come on, Kakuzu, I'm not that weird."

"Everyone here is."

"Well, she's not that bad. And she's now the baby of the Akatsuki, so be nice to her, hm."

I glared at Deidara's hologram. He actually did it. How could he do this to me?

"Baby? She still a kid?" The guy named Hidan asked.

"Well, I think someone at 16 is still considered to be a kid, hm."

I gritted my teeth. Why did he have to announce my age to everyone? Or was that an obligatory part of a new member's introduction?

That Hidan guy spoke up again.

"16, huh? You better keep your dick away from her. "

"What the actual fuck, Hidan? Who do you think I am? I'm not a creep like you, hm!"

"Ah? Who the fuck are you calling a creep, Mr. Licky-Tongue?!"

"I'm not the one who stabs myself for fun, you freak!"

"I don't stab myself for fun! Well, I do- But I have to do it for my religion!"

"That is enough." The Leader raised his voice, sounding exasperated. "We'll commence the sealing of the Two-Tails now."

"About time. I think it's best to stop making our new member feel uncomfortable." Kisame said.

"You don't join our organization and expect to find comfort." Kakuzu uttered cynically.

"Everyone, focus. We can't afford to waste any more time."

I obeyed the leader and concentrated on the flow of my chakra. The host of the two-tails floated in the chair, chakra leaking from her orifices to the statue's mouth. Grotesque, but I guess that's just life.

Not much time passed before Hidan spoke up again.

"Hey, newbie, do you want to join the way of Jashin?"

"What's that?"

"You can kill people and sacrifice them to please Lord Jashin. Sounds pretty good, eh? Wanna join?"

"You don't wanna join, hm. Trust me." Deidara chimed in.

"I wouldn't either." Kakuzu added.

"Hoi, I wasn't asking you two blasphemers!" He turned back to me. "So? What do you think?"

"I'll… I'll think about it." I answered, presuming this was the safest answer In truth, I didn't really want to join his cult but that Hidan guy seemed demented so I didn't want to upset him.

"Don't even bother thinking about it, hm."

I opted to concentrate on sealing and remained silent, much to Hidan's dismay.

"Hoi, Deidara, why doesn't your partner talk?!" He complained.

"Why would she want to talk to you?"

"She's just like Itachi. They could be soulmates or something."

I grimaced at Hidan. What was wrong with that guy?"

"Why would you even suggest something like that, hm!" Deidara snapped at him.

Not even five minutes had passed and Hidan asked me again.

"So, have you made up your mind yet?"

"Um… no."

He repeatedly asked me throughout the sealing process.

"Hidan, stop harassing our new member." The leader reprimanded.

"Hah? I wasn't harassing her! I'm just trying to save her soul! I bet it's you who constantly harasses Konan!"

Aside from Hidan continuously asking me to join his cult and other members expressing their annoyance towards him, the sealing process went rather smoothly and we were finally able to complete it after three nights.

The jinchuuriki dropped lifelessly to the ground with a loud thud, signifying the end.

"The two tails has been sealed. Good job, everyone. Until then." Pain declared and dispersed from his position.

"Hey, newbie, you wanna join yet?"

I ended the jutsu without answering Hidan and found myself back at the mountain area, relieved it was over. I took a deep breath and stretched my back. Deidara, too, returned his main consciousness to our original location and stood up.

"You okay?"

I nodded. He acknowledged my response and looked up to the sky.

"We need to hurry. Let's go, hm."


	10. Beauty and Freedom

A few weeks have passed with no progress or whatsoever on our current mission as we continuously wandered the earth in hopes to find our target. At the very moment, we were riding on Deidara's clay bird, relocating again. It was dawn, the sun revealed its first rays in pretty colors on the horizon. The view was incredible.

I stretched out my arm as if I was attempting to catch the sun rays with my hands like a child.

"Hm?"

Deidara turned to me with a peaceful look on his face. He took his place next to me, admiring the sunrise as well.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

His hair lightly swayed with the wind, soft colors illuminating his face and hair. He was gorgeous. I smiled to myself before returning my gaze at the sunrise.

We both stood there in a comfortable silence, marvelling at the daybreak. Deidara must witness this sight quite often since he could fly on this bird whenever he wanted to. He was surely lucky.

"There is the sulfur stone temple I was hiding in for some time before the Akatsuki found me, hm..." He pointed somewhere below us. I squinted my eyes although I couldn't make much of it.

"Hm? Why are you squinting?"

Shoot, he noticed.

"You can't see?" He asked again.

"Well, I can..." I tried to convince him, although my efforts were rather weak.

He held up two fingers.

"How many fingers am I holding?"

"Two." I grumbled. "Come on, it's not that bad."

"But you'll need glasses, hm."

"Glasses? I don't think I need those."

"Then how will you help me find the the three tails? Are you making me do the job by myself?"

"I'm keeping my ears open. I've got good hearing, you know?"

He crossed his arms and scrutinized me, making me gulp.

"We're going to buy you glasses, hm." He announced bluntly.

"What? We can't do that! What about our funds?"

"This is for medical reasons so it's fine. You're lucky to be partnered with me since I am so much more generous than Kakuzu, hm."

I cannot agree with this; I just can't wear glasses for various reasons. My ego wouldn't allow it.

"But it's not necessary! I've survived this long with a crappy vision, I should be fine."

He returned to me with a fierce glare.

"How are you gonna spot our enemies, hm? How are we gonna complete our missions with you running around half-blind? And most importantly, how are you going to appreciate my art when it's not crystal clear, hmm?" He grabbed me by the shoulders.

He said 'most importantly' but for some reason I had a feeling it was the only thing he was really concerned about.

"I can see it well enough... "

"But you need to see clearly the exact moment the object bursts, the moment it loses its shape to become something sublime in a single flash, you need to pay attention to every little detail to that very moment, you need to see everything in a clear vision, hm! " He violently shook me.

"Okay, okay!" I yelled, feeling a little dizzy from all the shaking.

"Let's go then, hm!" He immediately had his bird fly towards a new direction.

I shook my head at the fact that he thought this matter was more urgent than I did, however, I could discern that it meant a lot of him. This man was crazy but if it would bring a smile on his face, then I suppose it may be worth a shot.

"What about the temple you were talking about? Can I check it out first?" I asked.

"You can't see anything anyways, hm."

I pouted.

"Maybe next time." He added.

"Fine."

It didn't take us long to arrive at a village, which I didn't know the name of, and followed Deidara through the alleyways until we arrived at an optical store, manifesting how dead serious he was about this. After undergoing through a series of annoying eye tests, the optician eventually prescribed me with a grade and instructed me to pick one of the frames available at the store. The problem was that I didn't like any of the designs put on display.

"How about these, hm." Deidara held up a pair of round glasses.

"The last thing I want to do is look like Kabuto."

"Hmm… what about these?" He showed me another pair.

"Um.. no."

"So... which ones do you want?"

"Can you just choose for me? Just don't let me look like Kabuto."

"I can't really give you my opinion on something that has no art or style to it. This is a matter of practicality, hm."

"But shouldn't practicality come with a bit of visual appeal? Or emotional appeal, at least."

"That's what artists do, we combine usefulness with a touch of flamboyance to add a statement to our works , but there's not enough creative room to affirm an idea in eyeglasses. They're just tools, not art, hm."

I sighed. This was getting nowhere so I just grabbed a simple pair to just get over with this nonsense. I put them on and examined myself in the mirror and was surprised to see how clear everything around me looked, even Deidara appeared a lot more handsome, although I wouldn't expect anything else from him. A small blush rose to my face but immediately died down as I glanced back to the mirror. The glasses and white nails just looked terribly out of place to my aspired image. I've strayed too far.

"You look like someone with identity crisis, hm." He commented.

I frowned.

"Come on, don't make that face. You don't looks that bad, hm. At least you can see now."

Deidara handed the payment for the glasses to the optician and left the store. I looked meekly around, curious about my surroundings until I spotted a dozen of vendors selling delicious, sweet-smelling, oily, unhealthy street food, resulting an instance grumble from my stomach in response. Comfort food was just what I needed right now.

"Hey, let's go eat!" I suggested.

"We already spend a lot on your glasses. Kakuzu might kill us, hm."

"Nah, we're fine." I flashed him a load of cash from my cloak.

"Where did you get that?"

"From the optician, of course. Were you really going to spend money on something that's not art?"

"Good call, hm. Let's eat then."

We walked over to the vendors, eyeing the different kind of street food they had to offer. Deidara eventually introduced me to his favorite food of all time which was called Bakudan, which consisted of boiled eggs in surimi, and also literally translated to the word "bombs". Surely not coincidence.

"Try it for yourself. It's the best, hm." He held out the funny-looking ball to my face, causing my head to race.

Was he actually feeding me? He held the food so closely to my mouth that it only made sense for me to bite it but I heard that it was kind of an intimate thing to be feeding someone with their own chopsticks. Was it really okay for me to take a bite from his chopsticks? I gulped. Maybe I was supposed take the chopsticks from him instead to make it appear less amorous but wouldn't be awkward to grab them while he's holding the food so close to me. What do I do? Why am I always overthinking?

I took a step back and flashed him a crooked smile. "I'll pass."

"What? Why? No, you need to try it; it's really good, hm!" He insisted, pushing the ball into my lips.

I guess I had no choice but to open my mouth and take a bite, trying to ignore my pounding heart. A sensation of different flavors exploded on my tongue, surprising but delightful. This was actually tasted great.

"This is amazing!"

"Told you so, hm."

He looked at me for a moment before reaching out his hand and wiping some sauce off my chin with his thumb, causing my knees to go weak. Why does he keep making me flustered? Why was it so easy for him to just randomly touch me?

I hurried towards the vendor selling Takoyaki and dipped them in the spiciest sauce, pretending that was the reason why my face was tomato-red. It was worth it though, as spicy food is the closest thing to heaven.

Somehow, a crazy idea entered my mind and I dipped the small ball in a mild sauce before holding it out to him. He raised his eyebrows but eventually leaned forward and ate the Takoyaki ball. I was actually feeding him!

"Hehe.."

"Hm? Why are you laughing?"

"Oh, uh...nothing." I just hoped I didn't weird him out or something.

"We should get back to work soon, hm."

"Sure."

"Before that, is there anything else you need to get fixed?"

"... Huh?"

"Do you have any other medical complaints or something? As long as it can be fixed, the Akatsuki can cover for it financially, hm."

"Oh.." I thought for a moment. I wondered whether I should tell him about my kidney or not but as I looked at the very spicy food I was eating, as well as remembering my liking to drink alcohol, I knew he would ban these from me as long as he would be my partner, and I just couldn't give them up.

I shook my head. I would probably regret this one day.

"Alright, let's go, hm."

I trailed after him, leaving the village before jumping on his clay bird and rising up to the sky, soaring over the village.

"Since you can see clearly now, I want you to reevaluate my art... hm."

I watched him in curiosity as he created a strange-looking figure that had its arms crossed.

"This is one of my specialties, C3!"

He dropped the figure and within seconds, it grew to an enormous size while spreading its arms.

"-Katsu!"

In an instant the figure detonated, causing a mass destruction and wiped out the village entirely, including the optician I had stolen money from as well as the vendors who served us food, until nothing but a crater was left as an insufficient reminder of its existence.

"Well, what do you think, hm?"

"Such a grand scale explosion is actually very impressive."

"And? How was the instant transition to an explosion now that you can see better? "

"Well, I guess the moment it loses its form is bit clearer now but I still haven't changed my mind. It's a beautiful and unique concept."

Deidara beamed at me, looking overjoyed. There was just something so radiant and heartwarming when he was happy, his smirk was infectious. He cheerfully talked about his art for a few more hours before we left the village that once existed.

The sun was now high in the sky, the color blue was overwhelming. Now that I think about it, looking at the sky was like looking into Deidara's eye, they had the very same color as if a piece of the sky was cut out and placed into Deidara's eyes, and they both gave me a sense of beauty of freedom.

I looked back to Deidara when I suddenly felt a sudden pain in my chest. It was not physical pain but something else, I didn't know how to explain it. It was perhaps a realization that for the first time in my life there actually was someone who cared about my opinion and health, even if it was just work-related, but… I was not completely alone anymore.

There was finally somewhere I could belong to.

 _We're home._


	11. Of Faith and Greed

The sun had long set as Deidara and I enjoyed our meals, talking about our favourite subject yet again. He claimed that pop was dead and his art was superflat, which I had no idea about what that could mean but if he he says so then I could safely conclude that pop was really just garbage, even as a visual art.

We were on our way to another village so could replenish our supplies, and according to him, we would be able to reach the village by tomorrow. I was only halfway done with my meal when I suddenly heard some running footsteps and rustling. Judging from the sounds, there must be at least three or four of them. I looked at Deidara who heard it too, glaring into the direction the sounds came from.

We both stood on guard and only a few moments later, four Ninjas from the Hidden Mist Village appeared, standing confidently on the branch of a tree.

"An Akatsuki pair? Looks like we got our work cut out for us, boys!" One of the ninjas shouted, probably their leader or something.

"Heh, don't underestimate the artistic duo, hm!" Deidara yelled back.

I readied my guitar but Deidara stretched his arm to stop me.

"You stay back, hm."

"What? Why?"

"Cause you're not wearing your glasses again, hm!"

"Oh, don't worry about that-"

"No, stand back. I'll handle this, hm."

I crossed my arms and pouted.

"Can I atleast play some background music while you're fighting?"

"What? No!"

The blonde stuck his hands in the bags attached to his waist and as soon as the four ninjas jumped to charge at him, he threw his clay creations at them.

"Katsu!"

And just like that, the four confident ninjas were turned into burning pieces of gore. My disappointment faded. If they were this easy to kill then I'm not missing out much.

"... I can't believe that was it! Some arrogant bastards they are with so little potential, hm!" Deidara spat out. "See if there are more around."

I nodded and surveyed the area, listening intently for other noises that might give away more hidden enemies. For several minutes all I could hear was silence, but then I heard footsteps again that belonged to at least two people, however unlike the previous ambush, they walked rather slow and relaxed.

I hid behind a tree, waiting for the two come closer and when the distance was acceptable enough, I jumped up and swung my guitar at one of them who blocked it with his scythe. Just then did I realize these were Akatsuki members.

"Hold on, Kakuzu. I don't think they're part of the guys we're hunting."

"Of course not, are you stupid? That's the new girl."

I immediately remembered their names: Hidan and Kakuzu. As I can recall, both of them are supposedly immortal.

"Sorry, I thought you belonged to those guys that attacked us a while ago." I apologized and withdrew my weapon.

There was an indiscernible glint in Hidan's eyes as if he suddenly remembered something and he pointed his finger at me.

"Hoi, you just disappeared after we sealed the two-tails without giving me an answer! Are you gonna join me or not!"

"Oh, I thought about it and, uh, I think I won't be joining. Sorry."

"What? Why not!"

"It's not really my thing, you know... "

"Hoi, hoi, I've been waiting the whole time for your answer, you better not reject me now or Jashin-sama will be very angry."

"That's... too bad, I guess."

"So you better join!"

"Um..." I found myself at loss for excuses. I didn't really wanna join but would it hurt to give it it a try? I don't know much about this religion, maybe it could be fun, and maybe I could attain some kind of enlightenment or whatever.

"Don't even bother. His rituals take forever." Kakuzu finally spoke up.

"Oi, Kakuzu, don't spoil it for me!" He looked back me. "Well?"

"Isn't there some kind of trial membership or something to see if I'll like it?"

He bursted out in crazy laughter and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Newbie, religion is not about liking something, it's about absolute devotion that makes you do things you don't like. Once you're a Jashinist there is no turning back, or I'll have to kill you." He explained, kissing his necklace.

He had a point, though. I contemplated for a few seconds before deciding that it wasn't really worth it.

"Then I guess I won't risk it."

"No, look, the risk is so worth it." He pulled out a small spear. "In Jashinism, you learn to accept pain, and when you break through the pain, it turns into ecstasy... "

He pushed the spear into his chest and shoved it in even deeper while letting out a moan of pain and pleasure as saliva run down his mouth. I found myself involuntarily taking a step back, speechless and terrified at this repulsive sight.

Deidara had repeatedly reminded me to be wary of Hidan and now I perfectly understood why. To answer my previous question as to whether it would hurt to try or not, yes, it would definitely hurt.

I was certainly no stranger to the weird and freaky, I have seen countless disturbing things that I wish I could forget but this pretty much tops everything else. This was a pure masochistic fetish, and the fact that he was immortal just meant he could do so much worse. I didn't even want to think about it.

He pulled out the spear which still had blood on it and offered it to me.

"Here… Give it a try." He panted.

"I-I'm good!" I rejected his offer and he stabbed himself again in the other side of his chest and moaned out loudly. I helplessly looked at Kakuzu, hoping he'll intervene or something.

"You're even freaking me out." Kakuzu grumbled at Hidan before turning his attention to me. "Where are the Hidden Mist Ninjas?"

"Oh, they're dead. Deidara got 'em good."

"Damn it. More bounty gone to waste." He sounded even more irritated than ever.

"Bounty? You're a bounty hunter?"

"Yes, the only thing you can count on in this world is money, and it is more valuable than any kind of religion or stupid rituals." As he spoke the last part of his sentence, his eyes shifted to Hidan who too busy enjoying the spear pierced through his lungs.

As odd as these two appeared to be, I found it interesting how they had their own goals and ambitions that drove them; HIdan with his religion and Kakuzu with his money. The members of the Akatsuki were truly unique individuals.

"Hoi, you guys are here!" Deidara caught up to us.

"You blew up my bounties beyond recognition." Kakuzu bluntly stated.

"You should have come earlier then. But as weak as they were, I bet they're not gonna give you any profit, hm."

"It doesn't matter what they're capable of or not, what matters is the price on their head."

"Well, what's done is done." Deidara shrugged his shoulders.

"Any luck with the three-tails yet?"

"None at all, hm. Can't believe leader assigned us to the most difficult to find…" Deidara looked down. "Oh, by the way..." He rolled up his sleeve. "My arms are fully healed now, hm."

"Good for you."

"Aren't you gonna check it or something since you're the one who stitched them together?"

"Do I look like a doctor to you? If it works then it works, no need for me to do more free labor."

Deidara frowned at Kakuzu's response before the latter changed the subject.

"We're heading to the nearest village to rest and look for more bounties. We should rent the same room to save money."

"Sounds good to me but I'm not sleeping beside Hidan again, hm!"

I was about to ask him what he meant by 'again', when I felt a hot, raspy breath on my neck. I barely moved my eyes to see Hidan unreasonably close to me, his eyes full of madness while blood and saliva dripped on my shoulder; an image that would probably haunt me forever.

"Hoi, Hidan, snap out of it, hm!" Deidara snapped at the lunatic and pulled me away.

Hidan removed the spear from his chest and after some time he returned back to normal, or at least the closest thing to normal that Hidan could ever be.

"Ahh..." He exhaled as if he had just done some relaxing activity. "So… you wanna join?"

"No, thank you." I politely rejected, standing behind Deidara.

Hidan looked at me then at Deidara and bursted into laughter.

"So, we have two girls now in the Akatsuki and both are taller than you. How does that make you feel?"

"Why does that even matter, hm!"

I peered at Deidara. Our height difference wasn't even that big, probably just a centimeter or two; I don't really get why Hidan was making a big deal out of it.

"At least I'm taller than my man Sasori, hm!" Deidara snapped.

"You're taller than your previous partner?" I chimed in.

"Yeah! My man Sasori was the shortest member of the Akatsuki, hm!"

I held back a snicker. The thought of two short artists arguing about whose art was better was just so adorable to think of.

"Anyway, we should get going if we want to reach the village by tomorrow evening." Kakuzu interrupted. The three of us nodded in agreement.

We walked in the direction that would lead us to the nearest village without any disturbances. Hidan would occasionally bicker with both Kakuzu and Deidara, and ask me if I changed my mind about joining.

Eventually, we came across a lone merchant but the poor sap ended up being sacrificed by Hidan. As Kakuzu had mentioned, his rituals did take very long and the three of us sat around in boredom, waiting or Hidan to finish as he lied in the jashin symbol with the same spear impaled in his heart.

"Might as well calculate your expenses." Kakuzu grumbled to us.

He added up all the expenses we covered since I joined the Akatsuki, including the glasses for me. The fact that we spent all of the money on street food instead was something Deidara and I agreed to keep secret between us.

"You bought eyeglasses. Why aren't you wearing them?"

"I'm not really used to them yet..." I answered.

I glanced at Deidara, hoping he'd say something in my defense but he only gave me that 'I told you so' look.

"Why should she wear glasses? She looks cuter without them." Hidan spoke up.

"Because it is a waste of money to buy something that you're not going to use."

"But if it doesn't-"

"Why don't you just shut up and hurry so we can go." Kakuzu snapped back.

"It's not like I have a choice! I have to follow the commandments!"

Kakuzu ignored him and continued calculating our expenses. Another fifteen minutes passed and Hidan had still not finished his strange ritual so I decided to go play a bit somewhere nearby.

"Hold up, I'll go with you, hm." Deidara walked up beside me.

"Does he always take that long?"

"You bet."

He took a seat on one of the rocks and looked at me with anticipation. I gulped hard, feeling very nervous all of sudden. I didn't know why I felt this way since I have played in front of many people before, but right now I felt like I was just melting under his gaze. There was just something so intense in his eyes as if he was expecting the best from me and I didn't want to disappoint him.

Which shouldn't be the case because I always give my very best when I play, so why was I so worried?

I took a deep breath to get rid of anxiety. Deidara was a very intense person, which was something I already knew and I should not let him intimidate me. I could not afford afford to make a mistake. One wrong key and the whole song would be ruined.

I felt my body relax a little and plucked on my strings. Once I got into it, the whole song just played out flawlessly like a flowing river. I smiled to myself and looked at Deidara who looked somewhat pleased, I think.

Lately, he would always watch me play and each time I would get skittish. I wonder what he thought about when we watched me. Did he find me amusing? Did I look funny when I play? Did I look stupid?

His expression was a strange mixture of serenity and intensity; I really couldn't figure him out.

Upon confirming that Hidan was still not done with his ritual, I played one song after another. I probably played around five or six songs but Deidara was still sitting there.

Did that mean he enjoyed my performances?

Well, he obviously did, otherwise he would have left. Yet why am I so surprised? Why do I feel so happy? Why am I feeling so weird? And why did it feel so good?

"Haaaaa…." I grabbed my chest which started to feel heavy.

"Oi, you alright, hm?" He came up rushing to me.

"Yeah..." I gave him my best smile, putting a distance between us in fear he might feel my pounding heart.

"I think you might need some rest. Hoi, Hidan! Are you done yet?"

"Almost!" Hidan yelled back.

I don't understand why I was reacting this way. A lot of people liked my performance, otherwise I wouldn't have earned any cash, yet why was I overwhelmed with emotions? Did it have something to do with him? What was with him?

"My ritual is finished!" Hidan declared, relieving me a little bit of the internal tremor I was experiencing.

"Finally..." Kakuzu closed his book and lead the way to the village.

"Hey, what happened to you? You look pale." Hidan asked.

"Ah, it's nothing."

"What did you do?" He eyed Deidara.

"Why me? I didn't do anything, hm!"

I eventually calmed down and went back to my usual self. I casually chatted with the three and listened to them bicker with each other as we made our way to the village. They were all a funny bunch.

At last, we arrived at the village in the evening and to no surprise, Kakuzu chose the crappiest inn we had ever been to. The wooden floor was creaking loudly, the ceiling had holes, and the staircase looked like it would break apart anytime soon.

"Oi, Kakuzu, what is this shithole?!" Hidan cried out.

"Keep complaining and I'll kill you."

"Oh, come on, stop saying things like that!"

Kakuzu booked a twin room for all of us and the innkeeper shot me a worrying look to which I smiled in return. It must look weird that I'm the only girl staying in a room with three other guys but I wasn't particularly worried either.

"This is gonna be a long night, hm."

"You bet."


	12. The Greatest

Deidara remembered how much of a hassle it was to have sleepovers with the two other members; not that they were bad company but they could sometimes be quite a handful.

He wasn't particularly picky with the place he had to sleep in but he was anything but enthusiastic about the cracks on the walls, spider webs on the ceiling, the broken window that couldn't be opened to let fresh air in, odd-smelling bed sheets and cockroaches in the bathroom. Kakuzu never had the shame to show how disgustingly thrifty he was.

The biggest problem, however, was that Kakuzu was not only incredibly greedy with just money but his personal space as well. Initially, Deidara was going to share his bed with Anjira, while Kakuzu and Hidan share the other but apparently that was not going to be the case.

"You always do this, you greedy bastard!" Hidan yelled.

"I am not sleeping beside you again." Kakuzu retorted.

"There's not enough space for three people in one bed!"

"Then sleep on the floor."

"You're always making me sleep on the floor! What if I catch a cold?!"

"You're immortal, what's a cold to you?"

Ultimately, Hidan accepted defeat and the three of them had to share a small bed while Kakuzu had the other whole bed for himself. Anjira was squished between him and Hidan, the latter falling fast asleep. He would constantly wrap his arms around her and she would struggle to get him off, but over the long haul she became exhausted and just lay there, looking uncomfortable and unhappy while Hidan snored in her ear.

"This is exactly why I don't want to sleep beside Hidan anymore, hm." Deidara whispered to her.

"I wanna get out of here..."

Deidara thought for a moment and nodded. The two couldn't sleep anyway so why bother staying in this sickening inn?

"Let's go out, hm."

"Sure, there's no way I'm getting any sleep like this."

Anjira roughly pushed Hidan away, resulting him to wake up.

"Where are you guys going?" Hidan yawned.

"Outta here."

"Can I come?"

"No, you go back to sleep, hm."

After getting fully dressed, the pair exited the room and left the inn.

"Finally some fresh air!" Anjira sighed in relief.

"Well then, let's see what this village has to offer. But with an inn like that, I'm only anticipating disappointment, hm."

"Hey, wait for me!" They heard Hidan call out, who was running out of the inn.

"Why are you here? I told you to go back to sleep, hm!"

"You can't just leave me with that old smelly fart in there!"

"Well, we are going to do artistic activities and you are not invited, hm."

"Come on, I'm so bored! Where are going anyway? "

"More or less just wreaking havoc to this village, that's about it." Anjira casually answered.

"All right, count me in!"

Deidara frowned. He had hoped to get some alone time with her and have a sophisticated conversation but it would practically be impossible with Hidan around. Anjira just shrugged and led the way.

Not too many people were out this late in the evening but several bars and eateries were still open. After some time, a fancy restaurant caught his partner's eye.

"Let's eat here!"

"Are you crazy? Kakuzu's gonna kill us!" Hidan looked at her in bewilderment.

"Then we don't pay, duh!" She answered in a matter of fact tone and entered the restaurant. Hidan wore a puzzled expression on his face but Deidara wasn't so surprised, it wasn't the first time Anjira acquired things for free.

The trio was seated at a table and soon enough it was covered with all kinds of meat, poultry and seafood, and the three were eating like there was no tomorrow. It was not everyday that the Akatsuki had the opportunity to eat luxurious food.

No food was left untouched and after finishing the dessert, Anjira asked for the bill.

"Why are you asking for the bill? I thought we're not paying!"

"We're not, but don't you feel better knowing how much you don't have to pay?"

The waiter returned with the bill equivalating to seventeen thousand ryo.

"We ought to show this to Kakuzu later."

"You're gonna give him five heart attacks."

Quickly leaving the restaurant as not to be noticed, they headed in another direction. Only a few minutes passed before another place piqued Anjira's interest.

"Hey, that looks like an art exhibition! Let's check it out!" She ran off without waiting for the men but they gradually caught up with her.

The building the exhibition was held in wasn't big, but there were a number of well-dressed, pretentious looking people.

"Yo, Deidara." Anjira spoke up. "How about we become the critics this time?"

"Works fine with me, hm." He grinned and followed her inside. This might turn out to be fun. I wonder if there's anything that could inspire us, but I highly doubt that."

"Excuse me, who might you be, all dressed up the same?" A pretentious-looking man approached.

"Oh, we are… professional art critics." Anjira scrambled, glancing at Deidara. "We specialize in, uh…. abstract cubism!" She flashed him a bright smile.

"I see. Welcome to our art exhibition where we hold masterpieces created by the best artists in the world. Follow me please, I would like to show you our most exquisite piece."

"I have no idea what I just said." Anjira whispered.

"He probably doesn't either. Just use big words and everyone will believe you, hm."

He lead them to an extremely mediocre picture of a bored-looking woman, which boiled Deidara's blood. How could something so unremarkable the best they had in this exhibition?

"This is atrocious, hm! How can you even consider this art? There is nothing special or exciting about this, it doesn't have any momentum! Don't you dare call this an 'art' exhibition when all you have to offer is mediocrity! I will show you what true art looks like, hmm! " He was about to stick his hands in his bag but Anjira stopped him.

"My apologies, my partner tends to be overzealous when it comes to art; very passionate, this fella. Now if you excuse us, we would like to take a good look around by ourselves. And please fetch us some wine, will you. "

"Why did you stop me from showing my art, hm!"

"Let's finish our job as critics first."

"I am done being a critic! Look at what's supposed to be the 'most exquisite' piece here, hm!"

"I know, the title is 'Melancholy' but she looks more constipated than melancholic. But my point is, don't you think it' would be amusing to make fun of all these bad paintings? Let's have a look around and some wine."

The man who had no knowledge of art returned a bit later, bringing three glasses of wine and, although still in a sour mood, the blonde remained silent and took his glass.

"Honey wine, huh? Very nice. Now let's commence our judgement on crappy art pieces."

"Are we just gonna look at paintings or something? I don't really get it and I don't really care." Hidan said with a bored expression, sipping his wine. "Wine is good though. Give me more!"

"Maybe later."

"I'll just stay outside and pray for forgiveness for not being able to kill all these people."

With Hidan gone, Deidara could now freely rant in frustration how he did not accept these paintings as a form of art; just because one could to draw a bit doesn't him an artist.

"There is just too much barbarism whenever mundane people attempt to create art, hm! They all think its merely about something that has to look great and conveying a message but that's not it! It's about giving your all, expressing all of your passion, creating something unique and grand in the single heat of a moment; it is _everything_!" He angrily ranted.

"You're right. I get the feeling none these artist really did their best..."

Anjira took a more humorous approach on making fun of the pieces.

"Look at this, someone just painted a blue dot on a piece of paper. Must have been really hard to make." She said sarcastically.

"Disgusting, hm. How lazy and shameless does one have to be."

After some time he realized that Anjira was actually right: talking shit about other people's artworks was actually a lot of fun. He hated seeing most of those half-assed realism and expressionism paintings, however he felt so immensely powerful when he belittled them because he knew he was so much better than those who created them. There were a few that were slightly pleasant to look at but he wouldn't admit that they were art.

"This looks like it was drawn by 3 year old that had too much sugar, hm."

"You're so mean. I love it."

Thankfully, the exhibition wasn't that big so there was less trash to look at. There were a couple of self-proclaimed artist Deidara threatened to kill, but eventually their so called tour ended. The last few 'art' pieces consisted on three sculptures: one of an irrelevant historical character, an abstract sculpture of what was supposed to be a man, and a naked woman.

"What's that supposed to be? A kunai or a penis?" Anjira asked, eyeing the abstract sculpture with an appalled expression.

"I think that's his hand."

"Then what about that? Is that his hip bone? But it's directly attached to his arm… I think that's his hand... Why make the the body parts look like a bunch of deformed potatoes?"

"No need to overanalyze it, hm."

"This butt looks nice though." She patted the butt of the naked woman. "And thus, this concludes our role as art critics. I haven't found anything striking but then again, I don't really know anything about visual art anyway, so I'll just listen to your feedback since you are more knowledgeable in this field than I am..."

"You're not wrong. Nothing was impressive, just boring and mediocre, hm…. 'Greatest artists' my butt! My man Sasori wouldn't even bother stepping a foot in here were he still alive!"

"Feel free to do whatever you want with this exhibition." Having seen enough, they exited the building.

"Now where did Hidan go, hm..."

They spotted Hidan at the back of the building stealing honey wine supplies and Anjira decided to help him, stuffing some bottles under her cloak. With that done, there was no other reason why the art exhibition should still exist.

"Now then… will you do the honor?" Anjira leered.

"My pleasure. Let me show everyone what true art looks like, hm!"

He created a larger bird and sent it flying towards the exhibit.

"Katsu!"

In an instant, the exhibition was gone and smoke started to rise to the sky. Panic arose, and firefighters attempted to throw water on the burning mess.

"Now, that looks so much better. _That_ is true art. Not even close to what those 'greatest artists' are even capable of, hm! "

Anjira smiled at him but Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Blah Blah Blah. Always the same shit."

"Oh, shut up, Hidan! Told you to go to sleep where your birdbrain won't be challenged by such sophisticated things, hm!"

"Anyway, let's leave before people start suspecting us." Anjira suggested.

He nodded and admired his artwork for one last time before escaping from the scene. They ended up drinking the stolen wine on the roof of some random building, far from where the exhibit had been. Deidara and Anjira shared one bottle, while Hidan drank most of the wine. As Hidan became very drunk, he started throwing the empty bottles at the windows across which Anjira found hilarious and threw some as well, urging Deidara to join.

The inhabitants of the building began to either scream in terror or angrily shout insults, looking for the culprits behind this delinquency. On cue the trio ran off before getting into any trouble, but Hidan was too drunk and tripped and fell from the roof, ending up laying unconsciously on the ground.

"Oh my god! Is he alright?!"

"This building is only about 20 ft tall, I'm sure he's fine, hm."

The two jumped down to check on their unconscious companion.

"What do we with him now?" Anjira asked.

"I'd say we'll leave him here but for the sake of the Akatsuki, let's bring him back to the inn."

"Sounds about right."

She helped him carry Hidan back to the inn like a sack of rice.

"I think he broke his neck..."

"Kakuzu can fix that, hm." Deidara wasn't worried the slightest.

Once inside, they carefully laid him beside Kakuzu, careful not to wake him up. She flashed him a mischievous grin, pulled out the restaurant bill from her pocket and placed it on Hidan's stomach, before quietly leaving, careful not to wake anyone up.

Outside, the pair allowed themselves to burst into laughter.

"I can't wait to see Kakuzu's reaction, hm."

"Me neither… hey, you tired yet?"

"No, you?"

She shook her head.

"Let's go for a stroll."

He agreed.

This time they walked around the outskirts of the village, where it was more peaceful and decided to relax in a cemetery.

"I've had a lot of fun tonight."

"Same here, hm."

Indeed, it had been a while since he had enjoyed himself like that. Artistic activities were always enjoyed by him alone because there wasn't anyone he could share this recreation with… until now.

He gazed at his partner. She too looked like she was deep in thought.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She smiled. "Was just thinking about the art exhibition."

"What about it, hm?"

"Let's become the greatest artists of all time!"

He chuckled.

"There's no need for that." He ruffled her hair. "We've already achieved that."

"But I think I could do so much more and better."

"That already makes you the greatest I've ever known, hm."


	13. Wedding Crashers

Deidara and I returned to the inn around five in the morning. I was tired but couldn't fall asleep; my heart was racing and I couldn't stop thinking about what he had told me.

"That already makes you the greatest I've ever known."

Did he really mean that? I haven't been around him for that long but I've come to know how zealous he was about his view on art and how easy it was for him to put other forms of art down, so it was an honor to be regarded as an artist by him. In fact, I believe the only people he respected as artists were me and his former partner Sasori. But for him to think of me as 'the greatest' he had ever known was a privilege I've never dreamed of having.

How could he say that though? How can he be so sure that there wasn't someone out there who was greater than me? Maybe he was just saying that because he doesn't know anyone else.

Well, regardless of whether he thinks I'm the greatest or not, it's not enough for me. I need to become much greater than I am; I need to satisfy myself first. The moment an artist stops seeking to become the greatest, his journey as an artist will end.

I have no idea how long I had been laying there thinking about it until Kakuzu awoke and roared at Hidan beside him, causing Deidara to wake up as well.

"Why are you in my bed?! And what is this bill?! You spent seventeen-thousand Ryo on food?!"

"What?! No! It was their idea! I didn't spend anything- Ow, OW! My Neck hurts!"

Deidara flashed me a mischievous grin which I returned, having to stifle my laugh. He looked exhausted but didn't seem to be in a bad mood. I suppose last night was worth skipping sleep.

We got up and prepared ourselves to set off and continue our mission.

"We'll be off then, hm." The blonde informed them.

"Don't you dare blow up this village; I still have business to do here." Kakuzu warned him.

"There's nothing aesthetic about this village anyway, hm."

"Kakuzu, my neck is broken. Help me!" Hidan whined in the background.

I chuckled. I hoped I would see these two again, they're were pretty funny in an odd way.

We bid our goodbyes and left the village, walking for a few hours before Deidara suggested we should fly somewhere because he wanted to check something.

As we rode on his bird, Deidara used his eye scope, scrutinizing something in the sky and frowned.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You see those dark clouds?"

"Yeah, why?"

"A massive storm is coming up, which means we won't be able to travel much once it hits land, hm."

"What should we do then?"

"We'll head north, then look for shelter and wait for the storm to pass. It'll be too dangerous to continue travelling. Afterwards we'll continue our search and head south once the storm leaves the land, hm. "

"Alright, sounds good to me." I nodded, amazed by his knowledge. I decided to ask him more about storms and forecasting weather conditions. He thoroughly explained everything I needed to observe, such as how strong the wind was, what direction the wind came from, the form of the clouds, the humidity and other things he learned from constantly riding his bird. I took a mental note of all that he told me; I wanted to learn from him as much as I could.

As we continued flying on the bird, we noticed some kind of event going on near a smaller village where people were gathered around a shrine. Deidara studied it with his eye scope.

"Looks like a wedding, hm."

"A wedding, huh? Why don't you blow it up?" I flashed him a playful smirk.

"How psychopathic of you, hm." He laughed.

"What? Have you ever blown up a wedding before?"

"No."

"Then here's your chance."

"You really wanna ruin such a joyful day for them, huh."

"Screw them and their happiness." I shrugged.

"Well, judging by their gloomy expressions, it's probably arranged. Seems fancy too, so I bet this is a couple coming from noble families."

"Like where families arrange their kid to get married to their cousin? If that's the case then let's purge the world from more inbreeding. What do you say?"

He bursted out in laughter. "You're the first person to be so excited about me blowing stuff up, hm. "

"Sorry, did I pressure you?"

"Not at all, I honestly appreciate it, hm." He shook his head. "I was just thinking we could interrogate these people, they look quite resourceful. I highly doubt that they would know anything but I'm desperate enough to give it a shot."

"Alright then, I'm all in for crashing and terrorizing a wedding."

"Let's go then, hm!"

He landed nearby and we headed to where the wedding was taking place. The guards questioned our identities and dress code but I somehow managed to convince them that we were here to perform for the couple and that Deidara was the lead singer, which resulted in a priceless expression from him. He told me just to hang on until he'll give me a sign when to strike. We took a seat among the other guests and watched the ceremony unfold before us in the most dragging way possible.

"Hey, Deidara, ever thought of getting married?" I asked him the first question that popped to my mind.

"No way, I don't wanna be chained down like that, hm. It already felt like I was married to my previous partners. Not the greatest feeling, hm.

I snickered and nodded, thinking that would make complete sense. I can't imagine him settling down for something so mundane. He was a beautiful specimen that should not be held back from reaching his highest potential.

"How about you?"

"Hell yeah, I'm gonna throw this huge wedding party, sing him romantic songs all night, then divorce him the next morning."

"Now, why would you that?"

"Beauty of a moment." I chuckled.

"That's not how it works, hm!"

In all honesty though, the thought of getting married never crossed my mind until I witnessed this wedding. I didn't really know what to think of it, I have no clue about love and all that stuff, despite occasionally and secretly writing love songs. In fact, I don't even know if I'll live up to twenty to experience all that. But then again, I don't think I could handle being stuck in a house for the rest of my life, taking care of my family. I would go insane.

Watching the bride and groom read out vows with such monotone voices that they might as well just talk about the weather and it wouldn't make any difference was a real bore. I glanced at the blonde, who seemed to be just as bored as I was.

"Damn it, I forgot how boring weddings are, hm. Not really worth attending any. Well, maybe I'll make an exception for you cause I would love to see how you file for a divorce the next day."

We both laughed before someone behind us shushed us to keep our voices down.

"I was just kidding."

"Would be funny though if you did, hm."

"Are they at least gonna kiss or something?" I returned my attention back to the ceremony.

"Nah, this is a very traditional and conservative wedding, there won't be any kissing."

"What's the point of making a wedding conservative when it's basically an announcement that you will engage in coitus with this very person from this day forward?"

"Hypocrisy at its finest, hm."

"In your opinion, do you think marriages actually work out? Like, does the phrase 'till death do us apart' actually hold a sincere meaning?"

"Well, the higher the mortality rate is, the closer you are to become apart so I suppose the statement has a ring of truth in it, but what do I know."

That made sense. The higher the chance of dying is, the more you treasure your partner knowing you could lose them anytime. But if both live long lives, that might be an entirely different story.

"But then again, all things are meant to crumble. Better to destroy something to keep it beautiful and pure in your memories than trying to hold onto something that doesn't last, hm." He continued.

"Say… have you ever had any girlfriends?"

He shook his head.

"Don't have time for something like that. I want to completely focus on my art and not get distracted. Art is the only thing I will commit to, hm."

"I see."

"You? "

"Nope."

"Not interested or haven't found anyone yet?"

"I'm not actively looking but I'm open to it. Whatever happens, happens."

He nodded in acknowledgement to my response but said nothing else.

I wouldn't mind getting in to a relationship just to see what it's like and get inspiration for love songs and break up songs. If it doesn't work out you can always break up, right?

"But have you ever been interested in someone before?" He suddenly asked me, which surprised me.

"Uhh.. kinda?"

 _Yes._

"And what happened?"

"Nothing happened. It was just a teenage crush, nothing serious."

 _Liar._

"It wasn't Sasuke Uchiha, was it?"

"Of course not!" I defended, bewildered he would deduce something like that.

"Then that's okay, hm." He nodded. "Who was it anyway?"

"You don't know him. He's dead, so it doesn't matter."

It was quite a weird feeling to be talking about _him_ again as I haven't thought about him in a long time. That was a rather personal question so it would only be fair that I also overstep this boundary.

"Well, how about you? Ever been interested in any girls?"

"There were a few I admired but I always left before any kind of attachment could form. It's easier like that, hm."

"What do you mean by 'left'?"

"You should always leave right after a one night stand. Never stay any longer than necessary, hm."

"Uhh… so it's like a hit and run sort of thing."

"Not run, just hit and walk away with style, hm." He stated in a very cool manner.

"And how many girls have you slept with?"

"Not that many, just four."

Four was actually a lot in my standards, though I didn't say it aloud. I was a bit unsettled about the fact that he slept with girls like that although I shouldn't be so shocked; it was Deidara after all: young, impulsive, hotheaded, intense, spontaneous and passionate, so it should be obvious that he gets into that kind of thing. I just couldn't help but feel a bit disturbed thinking about him getting intimate with someone else.

"What… what is it like to sleep with someone?"

He raised his brow, looking slightly bemused.

"It's alright, not as great as my art but it's nice to let out some tension that way, hm."

"I see..."

I was curious, but at the same time I didn't want to know more. Perhaps I would ask him for more details when we're a bit closer and when it becomes easier for me to swallow the truth. It was me who started this topic so it was my humble right to end it.

"So… when are we gonna start interrogating these people?" I changed the subject.

The blonde scratched his chin in thought.

"I wanted to take my sweet time until they were officially married to add it as a nice flair to my art but it certainly takes way too long and we're running out of time. Damn, I'm already starting to sound like my man Sasori, hm... "

"How do we go about this?"

"You take care of the entrance. Don't kill the guards, they might know something and make sure no one leaves. I'll take care of the shrine, hm."

"Gotcha." I stretched myself and stood up. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the party starts now!"

As ordered, I rushed towards the exit and injured the guards, careful not kill them. Deidara caused an explosion on the roof of the shrine, leaving the bride and groom to hold each other in fear, petrified, as their in laws screamed and tried to escape.

We held everyone hostage and started with the interrogation. I even went as far as playing agonizing songs but in the end it was hopeless as no one truly knew anything.

Deidara created spiders all around the vicinity to stop anyone from fleeing before jumping on his bird and nodding at me. I took the cue and jumped on his bird as he started elevating to the sky. Once high enough he dropped another creation, causing a grand explosion, leaving the wedding ceremony forever unfinished.

"Art is an explosion!" He yelled in a proud tone and watched the flames rise before turning to me. "How was it, hm?"

"Visually engaging as always and more exciting than the actual event."

"Heh." He grinned and flipped his hair. "Just a shame we won't find the three tails before the storm arrives."

"Let's just keep looking."

He agreed with me and turned back to admire the aftermath of his art.

Meanwhile, I thought back to our conversation about marriages, dating and hookups. I wonder what they're all about and if I will ever live long enough to experience such things and if it was worth experiencing them. Maybe I should really start taking care of my health.

I peered back at Deidara but he wasn't looking at his creation anymore, instead he was looking at me.

"What?"

"Nothing." He looked away. "Let's go, hm."

The bird flew into a new direction and I threw one last glance to where the wedding had been not too long ago.

Whatever happens... happens.


	14. Ascertain

As Deidara had predicted, they were not able to locate the three-tails before the arrival of the storm. He was sitting alone in the room they had rented to take shelter while waiting for the raging of the storm to pass, absentmindedly gazing out of the window as it poured and thundered outside, thinking of a strategy that would allow them to find the three-tails faster.

Among all of the Akatsuki pairs he had the greatest mobility although it hadn't helped him with this mission so far. His previous partner, Sasori, would have been perfect for a mission like this as he always used his spies to gather information for him. However, Deidara wasn't like that at all, he preferred to do things on his own. His current partner didn't seem interested in hiring anyone either.

Speaking of which, she hadn't returned since she left about half an hour ago, saying she wanted to play out in the storm for "dramatic effect" or something, but her being gone this long was ridiculous. It was a pain in the ass, but he would not report back to the organization because his partner was killed by a natural disaster. He would not allow that to happen, for both his sake and hers.

As he stepped out to look for her, heavy rain and strong wind hit him, wetting his precious hair; something he absolutely hated. He looked around the village but couldn't find her, cursing her under his breath. She must have really lost her mind for wanting to play music out here when they were almost in the center of the storm!

He spotted her a little bit later in the outskirts of the village, playing her guitar on top of a hill as if she was asking to get hit by lightning. It was not like anything could be heard aside from all this booming thunder.

"Hoi, are you insane?!"

"Yo, Deidara! This is so epic!" She yelled back, throwing her head back and forth whilst completely soaked.

"Not so epic when you get roasted by lightning! Now let's get out of here, hm!" He grabbed her wrist and ran back to the inn, ignoring her complaints while lightning and thunder crashed around them.

"You don't have to worry about my health." She pouted as they finally arrived in their room. "You should have been there, it was incredible! My music howling with the strong wind, blending with the loud thunder, rain dramatically splashing on me and my guitar, and lightning flashing around me like searchlights… A daring performance amidst chaos!" She swooned.

"I was there and couldn't hear anything, hm." He said in a condescending manner, to which she responded with a disappointed expression but he was not gonna stop there. "Are you trying to get yourself killed? Cause if that's the case, I could help you with that myself, hm!"

She slightly raised her brows in shock although she said nothing more.

"Well? What's it gonna be?"

" I… I don't know. I just wanted to feel the thrill I guess."

Deidara grew exasperated.

"Can you at least try to stay alive until we find the three-tails? Have you ever thought how embarrassing it would be for me to tell everyone you died because you were struck by lightning?"

"Yeah, sorry... I'll be more careful from now on." She looked down.

"Look..." He sighed. "I really do admire that you put your life for the sake of your art, but we're in a really critical mission right now. If it were any other time, I would have most likely seen how beautiful it would be to watch you play your guitar in the middle of a storm. Let's hurry up with our mission so we can effectuate our art activities with no limitations, hm! "

Her face brightened and she nodded.

"Understood."

"Good. You better dry yourself off before you get a cold, hm." He ordered her as she was soaked to the bone.

That went a lot smoother than he had expected. He just hoped she'd stick to what they've agreed to.

Anjira disappeared into the bathroom, allowing him to change into dry clothes. He ran his fingers through his hair, only to find a small knot in it. It was probably because he got hit by rain earlier. He looked for his brush but remembered he had left it in the bathroom. The sound of running water echoed from the bathroom, which meant his partner was still in the shower, so he should be able to get his brush. He opened the door to the bathroom.

 _Oh, what does it take to fall in love?_

 _Autumn had never been so confusing_

 _Wake me up in spring_

 _Maybe then I'll be wiser_

Deidara lingered for a few moments, astonished by hearing her sing . He hadn't expected her voice to be so light and clear, almost angelic, since she usually spoke in a lower tone. This was the first time he ever heard her sing and it was truly beautiful, he could not deny that, and he found himself lingering longer just to hear her sing melodies he had never heard before. With a voice like that, why didn't she include them in her compositions?

After some time her singing and the sound of running water abruptly stopped, giving him the cue to quickly grab the brush and leave. He did not want her to think he was being a creep or something by just standing there and listening to her sing.

Closing the door behind him, he started brushing his hair, hoping she hadn't noticed him. He concentrated on getting rid of the obnoxious knot in his hair, however, the sound of her voice kept repeating in his head.

A few minutes later she came out of the bathroom wearing shorts and her typical tank top, acting like her usual self, which meant she did not know he had listened to her. Now the next challenge was to ask her why she wasn't singing in her performances without giving away the fact that he had listened to her.

He tried to think of something so she could sing along but he couldn't think of anything so he started singing a children's song. She raised her brow and looked at him with a puzzled expression but remained silent. Damn it, why wasn't she singing along? She made him look like a fool!

"Come on, sing along, hm!"

"What?"

"Don't you know this song?"

"I do, but why are you singing it?"

"I was just feeling nostalgic, hm! Do you ever get that?"

"No, not really."

He gritted his his teeth. How was he supposed to initiate the conversation he wanted to have? And why was he going through such embarrassing measures just for something like that?

"Come on, just sing! I haven't heard you sing yet, hm." He lied.

She hesitated for a moment but eventually began to sing "under the big chestnut tree". Even a children's song coming from her sounded so delightful.

"Wow, you have a beautiful voice, hm." He faked his surprise.

"Really? Thanks!"

"Why don't you sing when you play?"

"Why would I do that? I'm not a singer."

"But it would sound more stunning if you did."

"You think so?"

"Definitely, hm!"

She scratched her head.

"... I'll think about it." She said in a soft voice. "But I still don't think it's a good idea."

"Why?"

"I prefer playing instrumentals. Adding lyrics to them is kinda distracting from the song's ambiance."

"I don't know about that but you should definitely consider it. Make use of all of your talents, hm."

There was a faint blush on her cheeks but she quickly stood up and headed for the door.

"I'll be getting some food. Be right back."

"Hold on, you're going out like that?"

The shorts she was wearing were very short, showing way too much of her legs. On top of that, she had nice long legs which may attract unwanted attention, especially from malicious males. Due to the storm, the inn was fully occupied, so the chances of encountering someone with inappropriate manners was high enough.

"Yeah, why?"

"Why don't you wear your pants?"

"They're soaked, remember?"

"Put something on, hm. Guys might try to do something funny."

"Then I'll kill them. Simple."

He crossed his arms and sighed. She could be so difficult to deal with.

"Wait a minute..." He scrambled through his things and pulled out a dry spare robe. "Here you go." He wrapped it around her waist. "Much better, hm!"

"What the...This looks so dumb!"

"Just go with it, hm!"

She was clearly displeased but did not retort and simply walked out the door to the inn's lobby. Deidara decided to go with her, careful around all the people who were gathered in the lobby to seek refuge from the storm. Anjira bought a few cup noodles from the vending machine before returning to their room without any trouble.

As they both ate their cup noodles, Anjira looked out the window with a bored expression. He just knew how awfully dull it was to be stuck in a the same place for too long. Just like her, he was a free spirit who did not want to be chained down anywhere, he needed the freedom and diversity to keep him going. Perhaps one day, they could both be free...

He watched his partner as she placed the empty cup noodles down and lay on her bed. He got to know her slowly but he still felt like that there was still so much he didn't know about her. She always spoke of ideas, opinions and philosophies, but rarely about herself. The fact that she was nearsighted or that she was really good at singing was something he discovered from pure coincidence; hadn't he paid attention he wouldn't know these things about her. He, on the other hand, freely shared everything with her, including his extreme loathing for the Uchihas. He didn't feel like he needed to hide anything from her but perhaps she didn't share that sentiment. Perhaps now that they were stuck because of that storm was a good time to get to know her better and make her trust him more.

"What kind of food do you like?" He decided to ask her.

"I really love anything that is spicy."

"Is there anything you don't like? So we won't waste our funds buying you stuff you dislike, hm."

"I'm not really a picky eater but I guess I'm not really fond of chilled noodle salad..."

He took note of that and laid himself on his bed, chatting with her a bit more. As he looked at her, he suddenly found himself distracted by her features. All this time they had been together, he hadn't really had the chance to pay such close attention.

He studied her eyebrows, her eyelashes, her nose, her lips, her neck, her collarbone, her waist, her hip, and her thighs. She wasn't the kind of girl whose beauty stood out in the crowd, if anything she gave off a very intimidating first impression, but as he studied her features by detail he realized she was actually really pretty and being an artist himself, he was a sucker for details. She was beautiful in a simple way.

For some reason, he had a hard time looking away and he just felt so mesmerized by her as she gazed at him through sleepy eyes.

"You ok?" Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah..."

He then got the urge to get closer to her and his head was getting slightly fuzzy. What was happening to him?

"Did you put something in my noodles?"

"What?! Of course not!" She looked shocked. "Wait, I didn't check the expiry date!"

She was about to jump up and check the cup but he grabbed her arm before she could leave.

"No, stay..."

He slowly loosened his grip on her arm and inched closer.

"Woah, are you really okay?!" She backed away from him with a red face, looking worried.

That was another thing he observed. Whenever he got physically too close to her she would run away from him. Maybe she didn't like him? But there was always a blush on her face when she did, maybe she was just too embarrassed?

He shook his head and let go.

"Nah, I'm fine, just really sleepy. Let's call it a night, hm."

What was he doing anyway, creeping on his partner like that? That was not cool of him at all. He was supposed to a role model, the very awesome artist she should look up to, not some deprived weirdo hogging for affection.

He sighed. He was probably just bored out of his mind.

He tucked himself in his bed and fell asleep, not wasting any more time thinking about it.


	15. Daredevils

What if everything had just been an illusion? A figment of my imagination?

What if none of what happened in the past few months was real?

That's what I thought when I found myself in the water tank filled with obnoxious liquid that I hated so much. Why was I back here in this nightmare? I thought I left this place once and for all!

And there he was, that snake freak looking at me with those perverse eyes, as if I was nothing more than a guinea pig to play around with. His assistant Kabuto was there too. Oh, how I hated those two…

Amongst all my despair, the only one I could think of was Deidara. But where was he? I know he was real, I know I have met him, so where was he? I refuse to believe it was only a dream, he felt too real to be a dream. I needed to see him! I couldn't stay here!

"Deidara!" I yelled from the top of my lungs.

Nothing seemed to have changed and I called him out once more, sobbing uncontrollably and banging on the glass of the tank. Why was this happening? I felt like hyperventilating.

But then, I felt it. A soft hand on my shoulder and my eyes opened; greeting me with the most beautiful vision of Deidara who was only covered in a towel, a sight more radating than any light, brighter than any enlightenment, and sweeter than any epiphany.

"Oi, what is wrong with you?"

It felt like a reverie, seeing and hearing him like this, and at this very moment I wanted nothing more than him to be real. I reached out to his face, gently touching his cheek.

"Hoi, what the hell are you doing, hm!" He swat my hand away.

Now everything became clear and I sat up, fully awake now. This, indeed, was reality. The fact that I had joined the Akatsuki, Deidara became my partner, and we were stuck in a room amidst a giant storm. I couldn't be more thankful.

"So you just had a nightmare, hm." He looked annoyed but if I wasn't being too delusional, I could distinguish a glint of concern.

"Yeah, I did..." I wiped the tears that had accumulated while I was asleep.

"I was taking a shower until I heard you shout my name. I thought you were attacked or something, hm.."

"What?! I did?!" I gasped in disbelief. That was very embarrassing.

He nodded.

"You dreamt about Orochimaru, didn't you?"

"How did you know?"

"It's not that hard to figure it out, hm." He sat next to me, still only wearing that towel. "Say, are you still scared of Orochimaru? He's dead, you know, hm."

"I know, but I'm not scared. Just happened to dream of him."

"Don't worry, I'm gonna kill Sasuke and everything else that reminds you of Orochimaru, hm!"

That was a rather odd way of comforting someone but I appreciated it nonetheless.

"Is there anyone else you wanna get rid of?"

"Hmm..." I thought for a moment. "Would be nice if Kabuto died. Also all of the other test subjects that still roam around in Orochimaru's base. But I'd rather kill them myself, just help me look for Kabuto."

"Sure, hm."

My attention shifted to his body. Even though his arms were torn off and there were transplants sewed to them, he still looked very attractive. In fact, it gave him a rebellious edge to his angelic looks which made him look, if I dare say it, hot.

But what interested me the most were the weird shaped stitches on his chest.

"What is that?" I pointed at his chest.

"This is my ultimate piece of art. It allows me to become one with my art and explode like no explosion you've ever seen before, hm! It would be my final work!"

"That's... amazing..."

I felt rather morbid to have compliment him on a technique involving inevitable suicide, but thinking about it, it would be the perfect death for Deidara and I'm one-hundred percent sure he wouldn't want to die any other way. Becoming one with their art is a privilege not every artist will have in their lives. I do not have such privilege and if I remember correctly, his former partner Sasori didn't fully have that privilege either.

I don't think it would be humanly possible for me to become music. I'm pretty sure I'm going to die from multiple organ failure or something, or be hindered by my failing organs during battle which my enemies would take advantage of and strike me dead.

"Anyway, I'm going to continue taking a shower. You interrupted me, hm." His voice distracted me from my grim thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

Deidara disappeared into the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts. He had acted very kind towards me and I should repay him by stealing food for him.

He was already done when I returned, smelling sweet and fresh. I offered him the food I stole and we ate in silence.

"Hey, let's play a game!" I suggested, trying to lighten up the mood. "Let's play rock, paper, scissor, but instead of using a hammer and a hard hat, the winner gives the loser a dare, if that makes sense."

"Sounds good to me, hm! Can't wait to give you some dares, hm!"

"So you already have some dares for me in mind? Let's start then."

One the first round I lost.

"Alright!" He excitedly threw his fists in the air. "I dare you to sing!"

"Seriously? That is so lame. "

"Just do it, hm!"

I sang before moving to the next round, and I somehow lost again.

"I dare you to dance!"

"Seriously?" I scowled. "It's hard to dance and play at the same time!"

"Then make a clone!"

I frowned and made a clone before playing music so that my clone could dance.

"No, you dance! Let the clone play music, hm!"

"What is the difference?" I asked, extremely baffled.

"Stop asking questions, hm! You're the one who suggested this game!"

I rolled my eyes and listened to the beat my clone was playing before slowly bobbing my head, shaking my hips and doing some other moves. As much as I tried to get into it, it was still really humiliating to dance in front of him.

I stopped as a I saw him stifling his laugh.

"I'm not a dancer, alright!" I hissed.

"No, it was pretty good, hm."

Not believing him, I glared at him and played some more. This round I finally won.

"Yes! Okay, I want you two make the two mouths on your palms kiss."

He glowered at me.

"You pervert."

"What?! I'm not, I'm just-"

"That is seriously the first dare you're gonna give me?"

"Well..."

He glared daggers at me for a few moments longer before he held his hands a few inches apart and let his tongues tangle with each other before kissing. It looked very intimate and I felt my face heating up. Was I really being a pervert?

"I see you enjoyed that, hm. Pervert."

"No, I'm not! It was just very educational. A- Anyway, let's keep playing!"

We played another round and I lost again.

"Okay, this time I want you to rap."

I scowled at him.

"Deidara…. I will never do that. Rap- specifically Hip Hop is not a true form of music, I will never view it as such and I will never rap!" I angrily ranted.

"Alright, alright, hm." He scratched his head. "Let's get more personal then. Show me what you look like in your cursed seal form."

I swallowed. Both dares were bad. I wasn't really ready yet to show him how hideous I look in my cursed seal form but I couldn't give up my pride as an artist and do something so inartistic as rap.

I thought for a moment and decided to show him my cursed seal form. As much as I hated it, it made me so much stronger and faster, and my ability to manipulate sound waves increased sixfold. I only use it when I'm on the verge of death. Perhaps it would be best to show him what I look like so he won't get a heart attack later. Besides, I'm not going to rap for anyone, not even for Deidara.

I unsealed the mark and presented myself to him. He looked a bit startled but then returned to his usual grin.

"You look terrifying, hm! But it's useful to know how it works so that it would be easier for me to take down Sasuke in case he decides to use it against me. Well, let's talk about that later, we gotta play first, hm!"

I sighed in relief. Even though I showed him the ugliest side of me, he still wasn't repulsed by me. I felt happy and accepted.

As we continued playing I realized I really suck at this game and ended up doing humiliating dares. I won once in a while and dared him to have pigtails which he profoundly refused, so I gave him the option to braid them instead.

We played for a bit longer until it got boring considering how limited our dares were within our room so we decided to fool around in the lobby and pantry, but still remained careful about not drawing too much attention.

I managed to win once again and dared him to hit on a cute girl.

"What, you too chicken?" I mocked his hesitance.

"Of course not!" He retorted and went to approach her.

She was very receptive of him, sparking some insecurity in me but l reminded myself that it was all part of the game. After a couple minutes of talking, he returned to me.

"Well, aren't you a charmer." I teased him.

"Not quite as good as Itachi though, hm. Girls are all over him. You'll fall in love with him once you meet him, hm."

"Just like how you are in love with him?"

"Don't you even dare, hm!" He threatened.

We moved to the pantry and I dared him to eat a raw onion which was absolutely hilarious. In his wrath, he dared me to snort wasabi, and as the daredevil I am, I did it and instantly regretted it. This ended our game as I was drawing too much attention by vomiting on the other food in the pantry. I didn't want to continue playing anyway, my nose and head hurt too much.

"You're so weird, hm. You're not okay with rapping but you're okay with snorting wasabi..."

"You're the one who dared me to do it..." I struggled to speak as my nose burned.

"You could have said no..."

We went back to our rooms and relaxed. It was getting boring real fast if that storm wouldn't stop soon…

But still, I would rather be here than anywhere else on this earth. I'd rather be with him.

I smiled.

This was my reality.


	16. Manifestations

The storm had moved further to the south, allowing Deidara and his partner to continue with the hunt for the three-tails. The sky had cleared up, but it rained once in awhile as aftereffect. As much as Deidara wanted to stay indoors to shield his hair from the rain, he knew they had to keep moving and not waste anymore time.

"Let's hurry, we lost too much time being idle, hm. We're not gonna take a break for a week, hm."

"Yeah, I'm all riled up."

Not too much time had passed since they left the inn but Deidara got the feeling that they were being followed. Anjira seemed to sense it too. He nodded at her and send a few spiders to probe how many were hidden.

Turned out they were followed by a hoard of shinobis from different villages, including his own. Where did they all came from? He thought he was being careful back in the inn. Leader would be mad if he found out they caught the attention of this many people so it would best to clean up this mess right away. Normally, he would ask his partner to stand back and handle everything on his own just to show off, but it would be best to have another hand just to make sure no one escaped as a witness.

The shinobis on the front line lunged at them, while the once at the back launched a long-range attack at the two. The pair dodged them before before a wide grin creeped on Deidara's face.

"Since we're no longer on standby, you better wear your glasses, hm!"

"Fine..." She grumbled, fishing her eyeglasses out and putting them on.

"Now then… you know what to do!"

"Right on it!"

Anjira was just perfect for dismantling such organized attack strategies made by large groups. She cloned herself and made the clones play different songs that assail ninjutsu and genjutsu attacks to disarray the mid-range fighters and support types. To protect herself and her clones that were playing the songs, she created more clones to fight melee, as she was just as deadly in close-range combat.

Deidara was impressed by her tactics. Using ninjutsu, taijutsu and genjutsu at the same time was very useful to defeat different types of shinobi but the downside was that such diverse attacks consumed a lot of chakra. That's where he would come in. A destructive attack to quickly take advantage of a quick opening.

Once a hint of disorganization and confusion hindered the enemy's tactics, Deidara dropped down bombs, killing the shinobis in the center. After that, their formation crumbled and it was child's play to get rid of everyone else.

"All of you are fools for thinking you could challenge my art!" He yelled. "Art… is an explosion, hm! Katsu!"

He continued dropping creations on the remaining shinobi that fought, and sending birds to those that tried to flee, while Anjira watched out for anyone who might get away. There were quite a lot of them but none seemed particularly strong.

After killing everyone in their eyesight, the two surveyed the area for a few hours to check if anyone was still alive or escaped.

"It's kind of annoying to do this, hm." Deidara complained. "I don't really care if someone spotted us, in fact I would love for my art to get more publicity, hm!"

"True, we could really profit from this."

After making sure no one had escaped, the duo continued their mission.

"It was interesting to combine our art that way." He spoke up with a fond smile on his face. "It was a good strategy, hm. You breaking through their defenses and me going on the offensive..."

"Yeah, hope we get to do this more often."

"We definitely will, hm. We'll get rid of anyone who tries to stand in the way of our art!"

Indeed, he was pleased about how smooth their collaboration went. A lot of times him and his man Sasori had artistically disposed their enemies together but the redhead was not too fond of combining their art. Nevertheless, they fought well together, but it was inevitable for Deidara to fly off the hook sometimes to assert that his art was truly superior, much to the puppet master's dismay.

As for Tobi, all that idiot had been good for was to plant mines underground. At least he didn't have to worry about him getting killed because things would just pass through him.

Now as for his current partner, he was delighted that they could combine their art in a way that they both still stood out in their own ways.

A tiny part of him was curious though as to how their art would clash. Was his art stronger than hers? Well he was sure it was but he would like to see how she would uphold against him. He would like to fight her sometime, just for shits and giggles of course, nothing personal.

"We should spar sometime, hm. It would make it easier for us to get to know each other's jutsu. Don't worry, we'll just have a friendly match, hm."

"And how friendly would that be?"

"Friendly enough not to kill each other."

"Sounds good. When will that be?"

"When we have more time, hm."

"Why not now?" She flashed him a mischievous grin, letting her guitar hit the ground "Surely enough the adrenaline rush from earlier hasn't left you yet?"

"We haven't done any progress on our mission so far, hm." He defied, although the rush still lingered in him, as she had stated

"Wow, aren't you obedient. Wouldn't have expected that from you." She teased, which tempted him even more. After several dull days of not doing anything but sitting around and sleeping, it was practically impossible to contain all that inspiration within him!

"Fine! But remember to keep this quick, hm!" He gave in to the adrenaline rush.

"Of course. We'll keep this quick and friendly as agreed." Her grin widened.

A heartbeat passed before Anjira lunged, swinging her guitar at him. He quickly created C1 spiders to throw her off but she was fast and evaded them, attacking him from behind.

He dodged and made birds this time to widen the distance between them. As he bombarded more of them at her, she moved away and started playing her guitar. All of his clay birds changed course and flew towards him, circling him but showing no signs of detonation.

So she was able to control the movements of his creations with her sound waves but she was not able to trigger their explosion. That was part of his explosion release no one could mimic. But it was annoying that she made them stick close to him so that he couldn't detonate them, otherwise he would blow himself up as well.

He thought for a while before coming up with a plan. He created more birds for her to enclose him. Once there were too many birds to keep a clear view of him, he discreetly created a clone, while hiding his real self underground.

He let the clone detonate which got rid of all of his creations. It would be useless to continue attacking from the sky as she would just control whatever he made, but sound doesn't travel that well underground. He created a centipede and let it crawl to her position. Once the centipede reached her, it dug through the surface and entangled her leg.

"Gotcha! Quick and friendly as we agreed, hm!" He proudly proclaimed as he dug himself up. "You still got a lot to learn."

"I guess so but I don't expect any less from you. I knew something was up when you started creating new birds..." She replied, looking slightly flustered.

"Of course, hm!" He beamed, always proud to show off. He knew her art couldn't defeat his, but instead of belittling her efforts, he wanted to give her kudos. "But then again, I didn't expect you to be capable of controlling the movements of my creations. If it were anyone else who had done that, I would be mad but I'll make an exception for you."

He released the centipede from her and made it explode.

"Well, anyway, that was pretty good so far, hm. All we have to do is watch each other's back now."

"You can count on me." She smiled at him.

He nodded and smiled back at her.

"Yeah. Let's keep going, hm."

He knew he should focus on their mission but all that inspiration pent up inside him just wouldn't cease and he couldn't stop talking about art, he could go on for days. This is exactly why artists shouldn't be restrained to one place because they would go mad!

Thankfully, Anjira shared his sentiments and listened to him all the way. She herself also got inspired from their conversation and his verve, so she began writing her song even as they were walking. Oh, how he wished he didn't have to look for the three-tails so they could do whatever they wanted…

But this was their life right now, and they had comply to their rules. Then again, the Akatsuki was very lenient when it came to their rules, just finish your missions and don't attract too much attention; other than that they were free to do whatever they pleased. Maybe they could have a breather once they find the tailed beast. It was best to hurry and focus.

Seven days have passed, and unfortunately, they still had no clue where their target could possibly be. Deidara decided to take a quick break in a cave located at the bottom of a cliff and they could stay there until the tide rises.

Anjira sat in the corner and continued working on her song, while he silently worked with on his art, admiring the explosion of his creations. He liked talking to his partner but it was also nice that they worked in silence on their own crafts. It was a nice feeling.

After a while, she finished working on her song and walked out the cave.

"Wait for me, hm!" He called out and followed her. He also wanted to see what the final product of her hard work over the week would be like.

"Remember back at the inn when you told me I should sing when I play songs? I thought about it and added some lyrics to it."

"Let's hear it then, hm."

She started playing the intro before singing the verse. Her voice perfectly blended with the instrumentals and she knew how to control her voice well to emphasize the feelings and words of the lyrics. Her facial expressions were present too, stronger and more emotional than he had ever seen. It was breathtaking.

He didn't always enjoy her songs, sometimes they were catchy but sometimes they were just too loud and there was too much going on. Regardless, he had always respected her efforts, works and passion.

This time however, he could not deny that everything about this performance was truly beautiful, it could be considered art. He could listen to her like this forever. It was almost like a serenade or whatever was the right term. He wondered what it would feel like to be serenaded by her?

After she finished singing, she looked at him with a hopeful expression.

"That was probably my favourite performance of all time, hm! You should do that more often."

She beamed at him, her eyes joyously twinkling.

"Well, you told me to use all of my talents so I did that. I'll still be creating instrumentals but I'll be making songs like this from time to time."

"That's good, always experiment and try new things, hm." He nodded at her.

She smiled at him and looked out to the open ocean, deep in thought. The two listened to the waves crash on the rocky beach before Anjira started taking off her clothes.

"Wha-what are you doing?"" He asked, startled.

"I'm going to take a swim." She replied.

"At night?"

"Yeah, seems fun."

Once she was only wearing her underwear she ran into the water and swam around.

He shook his head but not without a smirk on his face. She was always doing whatever she felt at the moment. Just like him, if he thought about it.

A part of him wanted to run after her and join her but another part didn't want him to soak his hair in seawater. He watched his partner for a few minutes until he realized it looked really fun so he took off his clothes as well and threw himself into the water.

He swam up to her, his hand touching her slender waist. Embarrassed, she splashed water at him, distancing herself before splashing some more.

"Oh, now you've done it..." He growled, and created an explosion from below the surface to create a huge splash at her. "Feel my art!"

"No fair!" She complained and laughed, trying to shield herself from the splash. "Your art is drowning me!"

"Then drown in my art, hm!" He said, bombarding her with more splashes.

The playful fight went for a while but eventually stopped because getting sea water in their eyes actually hurt.

They went back to the shore with red eyes and rested on the cliff, looking up at the starry sky and talked about art, as usual. He didn't know how many times he had already been repeating himself but he didn't care. He could never get tired of talking about art, especially with her.

He was really glad to be partnered with her, everything just fell right in place. The battles, the conversations, the activities, the jokes, the games… if only these moments could last forever.

Forever… what a truly foolish thing to wish for. It was something not even Sasori could achieve, so why should he wish for it? Sasori had believed in eternity and yet he died before Deidara did, which was only proof that 'eternity' was a pipe dream. Nothing lasts forever, except for the memories of the things that were ephemeral..

But… they could keep doing this, right? They could keep each other company, talk about anything and everything, continuing to support each other… He really wanted to travel with her, see places he had never seen before, find inspiration together, show their art to the world... Surely there was nothing taking their paths as artists together. They could both achieve what they are looking for until things would change. Until their paths as artists need to part because of change. Eventually they would change, change was something that was inevitable. All things end, that was part of his philosophy. Yet deep inside he wished they wouldn't. Especially not his companionship with her.

A part of him started to feel scared.


	17. Animosity

We awoke a few hours later as the water started to reach the cave we were staying in. The tide has risen at daybreak, the sign we needed to continue our mission.

It was fun to swim with him but that greasy feeling of dried seawater on my skin was very uncomfortable, and Deidara seemed to feel the same as he combed through his hair with his hand, wearing a displeased expression.

"The next inn is too far away. Let's just wash ourselves in a river, hm." He suggested.

I nodded in agreement and followed him. We flew on his bird until sunrise and landed to where a river was flowing. Deidara readied the soap and shampoo before both of us took off our clothes, entering the cool water.

I grabbed the soap and shampoo to clean off the salty smell in my hair and skin and looked over to Deidara. He was really beautiful with his hair soaked.

"What?" He asked, eyeing me. I must have stared for too long.

"I was just thinking..." What was I thinking? "That you might need help with washing your back."

That was not what I was thinking. Why did I say that?

He raised his brow. "Okay."

He handed me the soap and turned his back to me. My hands where shaking a bit as I slowly placed the soap on his back, slowly circling it on his back, shoulders down to his boxers. I don't even know if I'm doing this right.

 _Touch him._

I twitched my head to get rid of the voice but it didn't help.

 _You wanted to do that last night when he touched your waist, no? Let's just give in._

I shook my head.

"Alright!" I exclaimed, handing him the soap before exiting the water.

"You're done?"

"Yeah." I replied without looking back. I donned some dry clothes and changed behind some thick bushes.

After I was done, I waited for Deidara as it was his turn to change. As he returned, he walked up to me with a somber expression and said:

"I want to take you somewhere, hm."

"Where?"

"You'll see." He simply replied and created a clay bird, jumping on it. I followed and we rose to the sky.

We flew for a couple of hours until landing in a middle of a forest at a bottom of some stone stairs. Deidara wordlessly ascended them and I followed, cautiously looking around.

At the top of the stairs stood a temple and Deidara stopped at its entrance. I took my place next to him.

"This is the Sulphur Stone Temple I told you about, hm. You wanted to see it, right?"

I raised my brow in surprise and meekly nodded, flattered that he had taken the time to bring me here. The temple was rather small, it only consisted of a single room with statues lined on the sides, a couple of orange lanterns hanging from the ceiling, and a bowl of burned-out incenses. This place must not have been visited or maintained frequently as it was dusty and there was a huge hole in the wall which no one had fixed, allowing the soft light of the sun to illuminate the interior of the temple.

Deidara glared at that particular hole with fury and I could only deduce that hole was caused during his fight with Itachi. Yes, this was the very place Deidara had lost to Itachi. He hated this place.

I felt conflicted. If this place held such bad memories for him, why did he bring me here? Was he opening up another part of him?

"Those damn eyes…" He cursed. "One day, my art will overcome them, hm!"

"I believe in you." I told him. No matter what, I would always support him. I believe in him as an artist.

He smiled at me before returning his gaze to the hole, lost in thought. Several more minutes passed in silence until he spoke up again.

"Hey." His voice was much softer this time. "Once this is over, once we've caught all tailed beasts and we're not too busy with missions anymore, let's travel together, hm."

My mouth went agape. Did I just hear that right? He wanted to keep in contact with me even after our partnership in the Akatsuki might end?

He frowned.

"What? You don't want to?"

"No, I do- I really do." I assured him, and secretly reassuring myself that this was real.

My answer seemed to have contented him and he turned away.

He had actually asked me to travel with him! Not for work but for leisure! He wanted to spend time with me!

Romantic images filled my head with us going on food trips, exploding villages and other establishments, rampant battles with strong enemies, and quiet evenings where I play lullabies for him.

I was pulled back to reality as I sensed two people entering this temple.

"Well, well, look who we have here."

The first person I saw was a very tall man with shark-like features. Kisame Hoshigaki, one of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist, without a doubt. And right beside him- Itachi Uchiha; the man Deidara loathed so much.

The resemblance between him and Sasuke was uncanny. He was also handsome and a lot taller than his younger brother and had long, protruding tear-troughs.

I glanced at Deidara who was glaring daggers at the man, but Itachi looked completely unfazed.

"Why are you here? Do you visit this place often to triumph over your victory against my art, hm?" Deidara spat out.

"We saw you land here. Why are you here? Weren't you supposed to look for the three tails?" Itachi asked. His voice was completely different from Sasuke's . Sasuke had a cold, annoying high-pitched voice but Itachi's was very mature. He had a deep voice that sounded emotionless, but if I'm not imagining things it sounded as if there was a very slight hint of agony in his tone.

"It's none of your business. We're not slacking off, hm!" Deidara defended us.

Kisame shot a worried glance to Itachi.

"They're both really young. Don't you think it's a bad idea to have them teamed up?"

"I will not question leader's decision." His partner replied.

"Then again, both of you are artist which is why leader put you together."

My heart churned. I didn't want to be paired with anyone else but Deidara. We really had to find that three-tails.

"We're actually just waiting for you to find the three-tails so we can proceed to catch the four-tails but here you are, looking fresh as orchids. "

"Don't you know where it is, Kisame my man? After all, it came from your village, hm."

"Like I said before, it was lost after the death of the fourth Mizukage."

Deidara groaned and crossed his arms.

"We're on our way to find shelter. You don't look tired but maybe you would want to join us?" Kisame invited us before looking at Itachi. "We could get to know the new member but I know you don't care much about pleasantries, Itachi."

Itachi remained quiet.

"You're unusually sociable today, Kisame my man, hm. Don't feel so insecure about your skin anymore?"

Kisame's face fell.

"Can you not talk about that..."

"Are you really that bothered by it, hm?"

Kisame gave a long sigh and walked away. Deidara shrugged his shoulders and followed him.

As we walked with them, Deidara stuck very close to me as if he was trying shield me. While he hated Itachi, he seemed to hold great respect for Kisame, even calling him "my man". He also called his former partner such, even now that he was dead.

It was late in the afternoon when we reached the next inn. In contrast to the one we shared with Kakuzu and Hidan, this one was actually neat and had a very nice traditional touch to it. I shared my room with Deidara while Kisame and Itachi shared theirs.

It was still early so I decided to hang around for a bit. Kisame was sitting outside, taking care of his sword so I curiously approached him.

"You're one of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist, right? How does your sword work?"

"Samehada is considered the most terrifying blade. It can absorb chakra and instead of cutting, it shaves." Beneath the bandages, I was greeted by a mouth.

"It's … alive!" I exclaimed. "Can I touch it?"

"If you don't want to get bitten and have your chakra absorbed, I wouldn't recommend it. But I don't think Samehada would like the taste of your chakra."

"Chakra has taste now?"

"Yes, Samehada prefers to feed on strong chakra and doesn't like indistinctive or flavorless chakra."

"Picky eater, I see."

Among all of the Akatsuki members, Kisame felt the most "normal" to talk to. He also had his ideals but unlike Deidara, Hidan and Kakuzu, he was not insanely obsessive about them, nor did he get aggressive when disagreed with. He disliked Itachi's pacifist nature, but he respected it, and treasured their partnership. I enjoyed conversing with him.

We talked a bit more about Samehada, swords, fighting and sharks. Apparently, he was very knowledgeable about sharks, such as how they are born, how they eat their siblings when they hatch from their eggs and so on.

"Do sharks also have intercourse?"

"Yes they do. The males will usually latch unto the female by biting their pectoral fins and insert claspers into the female's reproductive tract that will fertilize the egg."

"Wow."

I don't really know anything about marine biology so I was extremely engrossed in this subject, impressed how educated he was, and asked more questions. This knowledge may be useless to me but it was fascinating nonetheless.

I wondered if I could make a song which sounds like something that would make one think of the sea. After talking for some more time, I excused myself as inspiration was calling me.

On the way to my room, I bumped into Deidara who told me he was gonna look for clay. I decided to write my song while waiting for him to come back. After an hour I finished the song but opted to wait for my partner so he could listen to it. More hours passed without his return; my fingers itched to play the song and I could wait no more as I was dying to find out what this song would sound like, inspired by Kisame's lecture on marine biology.

I left the room and stepped out of the inn, this time finding Itachi sitting at the patio, drinking tea and eating dango.

"Where are you going?" He asked, his face still emotionless.

"Jamming." I answered, pointing at my guitar.

"I see."

The sentence was short but I swore I heard it again: that underlying sad tone in his cold voice. I heard about him massacring his clan and I wonder if he regret it. Surely there must be a complicated story behind it but such was a very sensitive topic that I prefer not to open. It was not my place to pry into other people's lives.

He pushed the plate which had a single dango on it towards me. I assume he was offering it to me.

"Thanks." I bowed and took the dango. I wondered if I should sit down or just stand while eating but as the sauce run down my chin, I chose to sit, not to stain the patio with my mess. Itachi remained silent as I ate. Guess Uchihas are generally taciturn, even though I have only met two of them.

"What's going on here?"

Startled, I turned my head and saw Deidara, looking immensely sour.

"Want some?" I offered the last mochi.

He didn't answer and stormed back inside the inn. Confused, I ran after him.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I knew you would fall in love with him! It's always the Uchihas; everyone admires them, they get all the glory and the fame, it's their good genes that always win, hm!" He bursted out.

Finding myself bamboozled, I couldn't quite make sense of what he was shouting.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't act dumb!"

He slammed the door in my face.

Confounded, I stood there for a while, trying to process what had just transpired. Maybe I shouldn't have accepted the dango. Was it truly my fault?

Perhaps it was; I should have known by now how bad his inferiority complex towards Itachi Uchiha was, that even a simple act such as that would upset him.

Maybe it was the best decision to leave him alone to let him cool down. In addition to that, I still hadn't practiced my newest piece yet. I left the building to start playing the song but I couldn't really feel it. I was hurt that Deidara wasn't watching me play, it was the first time that he wasn't here. Not being able to see him being my audience drained my energy. A shame since I was very proud of this piece.

I hope he wouldn't stay mad for too long.


	18. Bad Dreams

It was already late night but Anjra had still not returned, causing Deidara to grow anxious. He didn't want to see her earlier but it was getting ridiculously late for her not to come back. Surely enough, she wouldn't be sleeping outside or at someone else's place or at Itachi's… right?

He stepped out to find the inn was now completely dark, not a soul was lingering around. Doubt filled his heart and he couldn't help himself but walk to up to Itachi's room. He hesitantly slid the door open.

There she was on the bed while Itachi laid on top of her, kissing as he pulled her tank top straps down her shoulder and caressed her thighs.

His stomach felt like it was tying itself in knots and bile was rising to his throat. How could this have happened? Right in front of his eyes, the only girl who understood his art was taken away from him. Not just by anyone, but by _that_ man who had humiliated him, hurt his pride and forced him to temporarily admit those cursed eyes were true beauty.

He bit his lip so hard it started to bleed. A great, unbearable pain seared through him, exactly the same pain he felt on that day he lost to Itachi. He had humiliated his art as if it was nothing and mocked its existence. Those eyes leered at him as if they were superior to him in every aspect.

It was not just the eyes, but the manner of how cool he acted all the time as if he was better than Deidara. Girls would always be all over him once they see him, even those Deidara had taken a fancy to, but Itachi never seemed to have any interest. So why, among all the women in the world he could have, why did it have to be the one girl he dreamed of traveling and walking the same path as artists with? Why did it have to be her? Why did he have to lose her to those eyes?

"Hoi! Get off her, hm!"

Their lips finally parted, and her head faced him with a cruel smile.

"His eyes are better than your art."

He could feel his heart break into million little pieces. After all their conversations about art, the times he told her everything about him, all of their mischiefs, how could she utter this sentence? How could she admit that those eyes which he had so desperately tried to overcome were better than his art? How could she get so intimate with his worst enemy like that? He had adored her. Just this morning she had told him that she supported him no matter what. Did that not mean anything? How could she turn against him just like that after everything?

It felt like he was stabbed a hundred times. Blood rushed to his head and he was ready to kill both of them. But as he glared at Itachi, he saw those damned eyes again. He was using genjutsu on her to say those things! She could still be saved!

"Snap out of it!" He roared.

His eyes shot open and he lunged at his partner who was sleeping in her bed.

"Snap out of it! He's using genjutsu on you, hm!" He violently shook her by the shoulders.

"Wha-What?! Are we under genjutsu attack?!" She shot up and grabbed her guitar, looking around with a confused and sleepy expression

Deidara let go of her and breathed heavily. It was a foul nightmare. She had indeed returned last night and slept in her bed, away from Itachi. None of it happened. Still, the pain of betrayal lingered anyway.

"What happened?" She asked, realizing no one was attacking.

"Get ready, we're leaving, hm!" He grumbled.

"Already? Sun's not up yet."

"Just get ready, we're leaving, hm!" He yelled at her. He was very angry at her. It may not be her fault but the image of her sitting with Itachi in the patio was what triggered that horrid nightmare.

She opened her mouth, taken aback but didn't say anything and went to gather her belongings.

He got ready as well and as soon as he was done he rushed out of the room. He wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. It made him angry and uncomfortable.

As they were on their way out of the inn, they happened to bump into both Itachi and Kisame.

"Ho? Leaving so early?" Kisame asked with a grin on his face.

"Yeah, we're going to look for the three-tails. And while we're at it, I will find and kill Sasuke Uchiha." He narrowed his eyes at Itachi. "Mark my word, hm."

Itachi didn't seem the slightest fazed. Whatever. When Sasuke is dead, Itachi will be sure to take revenge on him and Deidara would kill him too. If Anjira really has any romantic interest in him, she will get to watch him die.

He left without looking back and continued on his way to a mountain area, with Anjira following him closely, remaining silent.

"Hey." She suddenly spoke up. "I'm sorry for accepting the dango and eating in a close proximity to him."

He did not answer. Such a half-assed apology would not be accepted. She furrowed her eyebrows before saying she had to go somewhere and disappeared. He did not ask her where she would go and he did not care.

After about fifteen minutes she returned with a plastic containing delicious smelling food; it was his favourite food Bakugan, and handed it to him.

"Here you go."

How foolish it was of her to think his forgiveness could be bribed with food, he was almost insulted. In his pride, he created a clay spider and blew the food up, resulting in a shocked expression of his partner.

He wordlessly walked away but his partner grew frustrated.

"Look, I'm really sorry for accepting that damn dango, I wasn't thinking anything about it and accepted it. I didn't want to create a mess, that's why I sat down. I don't know what else you want from me. "

"Just admit you have a crush on him, hm!"

"Well, I don't!"

"Well, I'm not buying it. You're just using that excuse to be closer to him, that's it, hm."

"I was hungry. There was nothing else going on. It's up to you whether you believe me or not."

"I made up my mind not to believe you, hm!"

His partner let out an exasperated sigh and walked into another direction to the mountains, giving him the space and time he needed to sulk. The image from his dream of her and Itachi kissing still haunted him and made him nauseous so he preferred not to see her.

After several hours he took a quick break to work on his art and reaffirm his confidence in it. Yes, his art was perfect, the sharingan didn't even come close in aesthetics compared to it. The moment of an explosion was true beauty, nothing else; and Anjira would be stupid not to agree with him.

Somewhere in the woods he heard a very faint sound of music. It was very obvious that was Anjira but he hesitated whether he should go to her. He still didn't want to see her but he was worried she might do something stupid if she's left alone, similar to the incident that happened when the storm was inland and she was playing outside. He took a deep breath and approached the sound. That's right, he was only approaching her because of their mission, not because he forgave her or anything.

He found her sitting on a branch of a tree, playing her guitar and singing some love song. She hadn't noticed him, as she generally didn't pay attention to anything else when she played music. Her voice was still so light and beautiful, giving him goosebumps, and her half-opened eyes which didn't look at anywhere particular, the way she moved her brows up and down and occasional lip biting enticed him. He almost wanted to forgive her. Almost.

After she finished, she blinked at him in surprise and jumped down.

"I bet that was for Itachi, hm."

"It's always about Itachi! Maybe you're the one who has a crush on him!" She groaned.

"Don't say such bullshit!"

"Then stop talking about him!"

She crossed her arms and walked in front of him, looking annoyed. Maybe she really didn't like Itachi. Why was she singing love songs though? Was she inspired by him? Or was it just one of her works?

As he watched her, he was suddenly reminded of that talk they had when they crashed the royals' wedding.

"Hey, I want to ask you something, hm."

"What?" She replied in an annoyed tone.

"Back then when we blew up that wedding, you told me you were open to have a relationship, hm. When is that gonna happen?"

"Maybe soon, maybe later, maybe never. How should I know? Do I look like someone who plans that kind of thing?"

She was around that age where he started making his rounds, so there was a high possibility that she might do so too anytime soon. She was also an artist, surely she would look for inspiration in other people. In addition to that, she was young, creative, careless and passionate which was just the right combination for someone with a high libido, and he himself knew that better than anyone else. One day she would make a move on someone.

But he would rather blow himself up than allow Itachi be that person.

"Be honest with me, hm. Did you have thoughts about being with Itachi?"

"Here we go again talking about Itachi." She irritably rubbed her forehead. "No, I did not. Why do you keep asking me about him? I don't like him! He looks good but I don't think anything else of him. How hard is that to understand?"

"Well, whenever he comes along, girls just obsess over his good looks, hm."

"Then they're shallow. Why does it matter? You're good-looking too."

"But they prefer him, though. And he acts all mysterious too, which you all must love."

"I don't know. I can't speak for other girls."

"Well, if you had to pick one member from the Akatsuki to be your boyfriend, wouldn't you pick Itachi?"

"You're making it sound like the Akatsuki is a place to find a boyfriend!"

"Just answer the question, hm."

"I'd rather pick Kakuzu."

"Wait-what? Why?"

"Well, he's old so he must know a lot of things, he knows how to handle money and he's got tentacles."

He looked at her disbelief. Asking her about this was really no use. He shook his head, trying not to grin in ridicule.

"Girls would usually prefer a handsome prince charming like Itachi but here you are, preferring old rich men with tentacles. You really are something, hm."

"I wasn't completely serious with my answer, you know."

"Too late, I already believe you, hm. Especially the tentacle part. I'll let him know next time we see him."

"Can you not? I was just joking!"

"But seriously, you're gonna be miserable with him. He's not gonna spend anything for you so you can't just marry and divorce him the next day."

"That's too bad then." She laughed.

"What about Hidan? He seemed to like you."

"Like me to join, you mean."

"He's always been a one-man cult and wasn't that desperate before. "

"Maybe Jashinism is going through some tough times but he's.. too much for me to handle."

The negative tension between them lifted.

"But no matter how good-looking a guy is, if he can't appreciate art then there's no way I would be interested in him." She continued.

"Absolutely. As artists, it's natural to take someone's appearance into account but it's always a turn off if she doesn't know how to admire art, hm."

He felt comfortable again, relieved that she wasn't that shallow to prefer Itachi over him. Perhaps he was just overthinking everything. She wouldn't betray him that way.

Later that night, Itachi and Kisame left the inn, continuing with their mission.

"Quite an interesting pair, don't you think, Itachi?" He mused with playful smirk. "They're very much alike."

Itachi listened to his partner but didn't say anything.

"She's not as impulsive as Deidara but she appears to be a lot more reckless than him. Sasori said before that Deidara seems to be the type to die young and the newbie doesn't seem that different either. Who do you bet among the two will die first?" His grin widened.

"That's very morbid, Kisame. You shouldn't be making bets on our colleagues' lives."

"It's not like I want them to die, Itachi." Kisame shook his head. "They're very entertaining and it would be a shame to lose them. But those kinds of personality will get them killed."

Itachi stayed silent and looked up to the sky, thinking about his brother.

"Are you worried about them killing Sasuke?"

"No… not at all." He lied.


	19. Breaking Point

It was already late evening but Deidara and I continued traversing through the woods. I was slightly fed up with him earlier as he was bombarding me with accusations about being romantically involved with Itachi, and confused about him asking me when I plan to date and who among the Akatsuki would be a suitable mate. Such odd questions; just what has gotten into him?

Right now, he was pretty much his usual self, chatting about art and reminiscing about some events with Sasori. Suddenly a high-pitched scream coming from somewhere at the foot of the mountain interrupted our conversation. We glanced at each other with confused expressions before Deidara suggested we check it out.

It took about a quarter of an hour to reach a lone house at the foot of the mountain. As we approached it, we spotted a frightened woman standing at the entrance, who seemed vaguely familiar. After a few moments I remembered her: She was the girl I dared Deidara to hit on back then!

She appeared to recognize us and ran up to the blonde.

"Please help me!" She begged. "My name is Aimi and I'm part of a family of merchants and we store a lot of valuable items but these bandits just appeared out of nowhere and threatened to kill me if I didn't give them everything we have! My family is away travelling for now and I'm the only one here at home! Please, I need those goods back!" She was clutching his cloak.

"I see, hm. Where did they run off to?"

"Back to the mountains." She pointed in the direction we came from. "It happened not too long ago."

"Alright! Let's go and find those bandits, hm!" He ordered before rushing back to the forest.

I furrowed my eyebrows before following him. Was resolving a robbery case really a job of the Akatsuki? That didn't seem right. It seemed more probable that we do the robbing instead.

"Shouldn't we be looking for the three-tails instead of wasting our time chasing petty thieves?"

"They might know something about it. Besides, there's nothing wrong with helping out, hm. Just because we're bad guys doesn't mean we can't do a nice thing once in a while, hm."

I frowned. Somehow I had the feeling he just wanted to impress that girl.

After a while, we located a group of bandits sitting at a campfire with a bag containing what we assumed were the stolen goods.

"Take the bag and get out of there before I blow the place up, hm."

I was annoyed with having to help that girl but quickly grabbed the bag anyway and ran away.

"Hey!" I heard one of them shout before an explosion consumed and silenced him.

"Got everything?" He asked.

"Probably..." I answered hesitantly. "I thought you were going to interrogate them about the three tails?"

"Well, guess that's not happening anymore…" He shrugged. "C'mon, we're running out of time, hm."

My frown deepened as my suspicions were confirmed but I remained silent. As much as it bothered me, it wasn't really any of my business. Besides, I was his friend and I should help him no matter what, even if it involved wooing someone else.

 _Are you sure?_

We returned to the girl and I handed the bag to her. She took it from me but her eyes were glued to Deidara.

"Thank you! Thank you so much! I don't know how to express my gratitude!" She said, although it sounded like she was only thanking him.

"Don't worry about it, hm." He cooed.

"Why don't you stay the night? The next village is quite a distance away."

"Why not?" He nodded at me.

"Shouldn't we be doing something else? We just stayed at an inn last night."

"But this is free, hm!"

My stomach churned. He was making excuses just to stick around here.

"You're sounding just like Kakuzu..." I grumbled.

We entered her house, a terrible discomfort building up inside me.

"You can use the rooms upstairs. I'll be sleeping here." She pointed at one of the rooms at the back. "What would you like to eat?"

"Anything will do, hm."

I sat beside him, my discomfort growing worse by the minute. I don't think it was a good idea to be here.

She prepared food for us and handed us bowls of simple rice meals. Deidara's meal was completely wholesome in both quantity and quality, but mine was lacking and poorly arranged, the food having been carelessly thrown together. Words were not necessary to make this blatant favoritism any clearer, and irritation clouded my mind.

 _Gouge out her eyeballs with your chopsticks._

I ignored the voice and ate in silence, watching Aimi talk to my partner. She was the complete opposite of me: petite, cute, feminine and busty with silky smooth hair; it was no surprise why she caught Deidara's eye.

I crossed my arms and sat back, watching the blonde demonstrate his art by creating a butterfly that exploded.

"So, your sculptures can move and explode?"

Well, duh, are you blind or something?

 _She doesn't deserve him._

"Because to me true art is an explosion…. Hm."

"But how will you sell your sculptures if they do that?"

I scratched my head in irritation. Why were people so concerned about how artists make money? Why worry about that before even understanding its concept?

 _Let's kill her._

But somehow Deidara continued explaining his vision of art and it was clear that Aimi had a hard time grasping it. Why was he bothering explaining his art to her when it was obvious she did not have the capability to understand it? Just looking around her house, at these plain-looking walls and floors, devoid of any beauty and style, it was crystal-clear to see that there was nothing artistic about her. So what exactly was Deidara trying to achieve here?

 _It should be obvious. Let's kill her before she takes him from us._

I was furious. Furious at Aimi for acting all cute towards my partner despite not getting his art, furious at Deidara for continuing to entertain her, and furious at _her_ for putting weird ideas in my head.

 _I'm not giving you weird ideas, I'm just telling you what you want; what WE want._

I couldn't stand any of this nonsense anymore and put my unfinished food down. I needed to be alone.

"I'll call it a night." I said to Deidara.

He didn't even hear me as he was too busy talking to Aimi. I frowned and left.

 _Are you just going to walk away like that?_

I shut the door behind me before throwing myself in the bed and covering my head with a pillow.

 _You know what will happen if you leave the two. You have seen how they look at each other. You need to stop them._

She just wouldn't stop! Getting sick of everything, I opened the window and jumped out, hoping a walk outdoors would help me shut her up, but it only got worse.

 _Go back now and claim what's yours._

"I'm not as delusional as to think of him as 'mine'. If he wants to fuck her, so be it; it's none of my damn business."

 _There you are lying to yourself again! Just think about it. Think about him touching her breasts which are larger than yours and tell me it's still none of our business._

"Will you shut the hell up!" I yelled.

 _Think about him slowly undressing and touching her, kissing her all over._ _Imagine the sound of moans and screams of pleasure they both let out as he thrusts into her flesh while you are hiding out here like a coward. It's probably happening right now._

"Stop, stop, stop it! Please!"

 _It hurts, doesn't it? It hurts me too. That's why you have to go back and fix things. Listen to me and things will be alright again._

"Why should I listen to you! The last time I did, I lost my organs!"

 _Wasn't it worth it?_

"It was not worth it! He's gone anyway and I can't live my life to the fullest anymore because of you!

 _We did it for love, that's all that matters._

"Bullshit! I don't love him anymore! Don't you dare bring him up again!"

 _It hurts. You're lying._

"Enough! I've had enough of you!"

How dare she make me think of Deidara touching another woman and bring up the dead boy I used to love! If only I could get rid of her! I angrily smashed my head against the tree. I felt a trickle of blood run down my face which soothed me a little.

"... Anjira?"

My eyes widened. I slowly turned my head to see Deidara look at me with a horrified expression. Just how long had he been standing there and how much had he witnessed of me shouting at myself?

This was all _your_ fault.


	20. Sick Lullabies

Deidara tried his best to uphold his conversation with Aimi. He was physically attracted to her and hoped that she could also stimulate him intellectually, although it didn't seem to work without some difficulty. Still, he could see that she was trying, which he appreciated.

"Change is fascinating; the way things change their state and form… it's what keeps life interesting, hm."

"I don't mind welcoming some change in my life once in a while but too much change can feel a bit too fast-paced, don't you think?"

He did not agree with that. The thrill of knowing the moment could end any time in a flash of an eye excited him more, and made him enjoy those moments of transience to the fullest. Surely, Anjira would agree with him on that.

Speaking of her, he just noticed that she wasn't here anymore. She must be either really tired or retreated to work on a new song. He got up to check on her.

"I'll be going up. Thanks for the food, hm."

"You're welcome." She bowed with a smile. "I'll be in this room if you need me." She reminded him.

"Yeah, thanks."

He walked up the stairs and knocked on her door, but he was only answered with silence. He slowly opened the door, but her bed was messy and empty, only the windows were wide open. She probably went out to play. If that was the case, then he'd like to watch her.

He jumped out, listening out for her. If she was playing, he'd easily hear and find her. After a couple minutes of walking, he heard her, although it was not what he expected to hear. Instead of playing music, she was angrily arguing with someone… although he could not see anybody.

"Why should I listen to you! The last time I did, I lost my organs!"

Lost her organs? What was she talking about? And who was she talking to? He used his eye scope to survey the area but there really was no one around.

As he looked back at her, she wasn't even looking at anything in particular, she was just pacing around and shouting as if she were practicing for a play, and doing a convincing job at that. Just what was going on? Was she having a fight with herself? Was she that damaged in the head?

Her anger was real though, he could feel it in her voice. This was the first time he had ever seen her like this; so outraged and unhinged. He had always known her as being relaxed and carefree, the only time he saw such immense emotions from her was when she was playing but this was something entirely new.

"It was not worth it! He's gone anyway and I can't live my life to the fullest anymore because of you!"

He furrowed his eyebrows. Who was 'he'? Was she referring to this old teenage crush she mentioned back at the wedding? Why was she having a lone argument about him?

"Bullshit! I don't love him anymore! Don't you dare bring him up again!"

Something in him stung a little as she said that. It sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than anything. What was happening? Why was she arguing with herself about a crush?

Was she really still in love with him? Didn't she say he was dead or something? The idea of her longing for someone else while they were still partnered bothered him more than he would like to admit.

"Enough! I've had enough of you!"

She smashed her head against the nearest tree. This loss of control was something he would expect from Hidan, but not from Anjira. He decided to call her out before she would hurt herself any further.

"... Anjira?"

She abruptly turned to him, pure shock written all over her face. Her hair was disheveled, her forehead was bleeding, and her head was twitching. She was a complete mess.

"Who were you talking to?"

She just shook her head and took several steps back as if she were afraid of him.

"And who is this guy you're talking about?"

She stood frozen in her place, her eyes refusing to meet his.

"Why won't you tell me!'

"Please just stop asking. I don't want to talk about it."

"And why not?"

She just sighed and shook her head. Her reluctance to answer angered him and his impatience got the better of him. If she was so secretive about it then it had to be someone he did not approve of!

"It's Sasuke Uchiha, isn't it?!"

"For the hundredth time already, it's none from the Uchihas!"

"Then why can't you tell me about it?!"

"It's just… It doesn't matter anymore, alright? Let's stop talking about it."

"Oh no, we aren't done talking yet, hm!" He raised his voice, determined to push the truth out of her. "I know you're lying! The reason why you can't tell me is that it really is Sasuke Uchiha and you won't tell me anything cause you know it would piss me off!"

"It's not!"

"Then what is it?! "

She scratched her face. "I don't want to talk about it because he's dead and it hurts! It still fucking hurts!"

There was this sting again. He suddenly lost all that urge to find out more. He did not want to know who that guy was or what has happened in the past between them; he wanted to hear none of that.

All those times he had heard her play, sing, and study her face, she was thinking of someone. There was someone who gave her all those inspirations. She had her own muse. For some reason, it still really hurt him even though it was not an Uchiha or a living person.

He was not jealous of her affections towards that person per se. He was jealous of the inspiration she got from him, because in truth, she inspired him a lot. All of this seemed to be one-sided in the end. Their kinship might have felt like the most comforting thing he had ever experienced, but it turned out there was an impenetrable wall between them. There were things he would never be to her and things he would never know.

"What is it?" She asked, studying him. "You've been silent for a while now."

She wasn't even aware that she was hurting him. He glared at her as he thought of ways to hurt her back.

"Well, what do you want me to say, hm?!"

"I don't know. You really wanted to know and I gave you an answer."

"And then? What were you expecting from me? Did you want me to say some sympathetic bullshit to you or something, hm?"

"No, but I was waiting to hear your thoughts."

"My thoughts? My thoughts are: I really don't give a shit about you and your teenage boyfriend or whoever the hell he is, hm!" He yelled, projecting his hurt onto her. "You're fucking insane for arguing with yourself about something like that and it's beyond creepy, you're even worse than Hidan! There you have my thoughts, hm. Are you happy now?"

"And you're not insane?"

"At least I don't have feuds with myself and bang my head against a tree, hm! I don't know how you expect me to put up with that!"

"And what about you? You're constantly accusing me of being involved with the Uchihas because of some irrational reasons you create in your head! You think I enjoy putting up with that?"

"Then let's just not put up with each other, how about that, hm! Forget about the whole damn travel, it's not worth it if you're gonna be there anyway, hm!"

A pang of pain flashed across her face.

He turned away from her, still furious about the whole situation. He decided to walk back to the house, not wanting to think about her and her issues any second longer.

As he reached the house, he saw Aimi standing outside, looking worried. She wore a night robe, although it was see-through.

"There you are! What happened? You both just disappeared!"

"It's nothing, my partner was just having an episode, hm. There's nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?" She glanced skeptically around.

"I'm sure, hm." He moved closer, his eye locked with hers.

While she struggled to understand the complexity of his art, she was beautiful, that was for sure. With all the stress he'd been going through lately, his partnership with both Tobi and Anjira, and the difficulty of finding the three-tails, he could really use some company and she would definitely do.

She blushed and flashed him a shy smile as he moved closer which was all he needed to make the next move. He leaned in and kissed her which she welcomed and passionately reciprocated.

She let go and pulled his arm, leading him to the room at the back of the kitchen, and locked lips again as she shut the door behind them. He stripped her robe off and pushed her on the bed.

It's been months since he last did this, and the last time was not as fond as he wanted it to be. He always liked to take his sweet time, savor every moment of it because it wouldn't last forever. Sex was transient in nature, that's why it was important to make every encounter memorable. That was the beauty of it.

However the last time he did, Sasori just started impatiently knocking on his door, wanting to leave much earlier than they had planned to while Deidara was still in the middle of enjoying himself. Thanks to Sasori, he had to rush it and the puppet's demanding monotone voice was not an exactly a turn on, neither for him nor the girl he was with, which made it even more difficult to finish.

Sasori probably knew what he was doing and even caught him once to which he expressed utter disgust. It was not like he would ever be able to relate anyway.

It was impossible to get any girls when he was still partnered with Tobi, and Anjira... didn't care about him.

He pushed all other thoughts aside and focused on the subject squirming underneath him. She was pretty and warm and that was all that mattered.

He ghosted over her lips as he went in and out of her, enjoying the sound of her soft moans. Just for a while he was able to forget all is worries and furies until suddenly someone broke the door down and Aimi screamed in fear.

He saw the shadow of a winged creature with horns entering their room. As he turned his head towards it, he recognized that it was Anjira in her cursed seal form. He had seen it before and had found it terrifying and amazing at the same time but something seemed different right now; something more forbidding and menacing.

The blonde removed himself and stood up to cover himself with a blanket, glaring at her. Her now yellow-golden eyes were flat and emotionless as she moved painfully slow towards them. Then in a blink of an eye, she struck her guitar down on Aimi, her blood splashing on the sheets.

Aimi looked helplessly up to him as blood rose up her throat and before he knew it, Anjira struck her again, her head rolling off the bed.

He remained his glare on his partner, carefully watching her. She was still holding her guitar in a position as if to attack while blood dripped from it to the floor. He remained on guard as he had no idea what she was capable of in her cursed seal form except that her attack were so much faster than usual.

The two stared at each other for a long time before Anjira finally lowered her weapon and left the room, leaving a bloody mess behind.


	21. Issues

The following days were spent in aggravation. None of us wanted to talk about what happened the other night, or rather, talk at all. When he did have to say something to me regarding our mission he would be snappy and rude, even much worse than when he was having that fit about Itachi, and act as if he would rather be far away from me.

The tension was so bad, it was hard to breathe. I also wanted him to leave me alone. The memory of him and that girl made me want to throw up despite not having eaten anything in days. I don't know if I'll ever be able to unsee it and look at him the same way.

I often pretended to be preoccupied with working on a song just so Deidara would think I was busy, and as much I wanted to write a song I could not come with anything solid, which frustrated me even more. I really needed music during these exasperating times but I was not happy with anything I wrote and ended up tearing page after page from my notebook.

As if all that wasn't bad enough, _she_ was still arguing with me! She actually wanted me to convince Deidara that I would have been the better choice! What a load of bullcrap! I had to listen to her baloney while pretending I knew what to do and where to look around without having a breakdown. This was maddening!

We finally reached a village after four agonizing days. Deidara reserved separate rooms for us, making it clear that he didn't want to be around me, but I had no intention of staying in my room in silence. I would lose my mind!

Instead I headed straight to the nearest bar, threatened the bartender for questioning my age, locked myself in a toilet cubicle and chugged down a bottle of vodka. Disgusting shite but it would do. I had needed a drink really badly.

It was only when I'm drunk that I couldn't hear _her_. I was free to think without being disturbed. She was usually quiet when I'm happy but when it gets as bad as this, she was just insufferable. I kept drinking but I didn't feel any better. The other night still haunted me and I didn't know I could lose control like that. When I heard those moans, I just went insane.

That very moment horrified me. Everything about it, the sight, the sounds, the smell, it was beyond mortifying! How could he do something like that when I'm around!

Then again, what do I care? He is not mine. He'll never be. Who am I to take away the things he wants? How could I be so selfish! What if he was in love with her?

To hell with that! Who does he ever love but himself! He was just using her for sex as he is using me as a trophy to his art and ego!

Issues. He has too many of them as do I. Then again, the more troubled the artist was, the more intriguing were his works. Maybe that's why artists are better off alone. They can't be with the mundane because they won't be understood, and they can't be with other artists as their issues would clash against each other.

I was elated when I got to know him, to find out there was someone like me who lived for their passion, who could not keep quiet due to all the inspiration and ideas that filled our heads. I felt like I could grow and bloom with him, be the best version of myself beyond what I could aspire.

However, as I should have learned, all attachments come with a repercussion when things go wrong that just weighs down on you and crushes you into pieces. Maybe I should just be alone after all so I wouldn't have to bother dealing with all this emotional baggage.

What would happen now? Should I just leave the Akatsuki because of this? Where would I go? I didn't want to follow Orochimaru's steps but how could I work with my partner again in this situation? Was it even possible for me to leave?

Damn, I would really miss him though. I've never been so close to anyone. I've never been with anyone who would listen to all my dreams and aspirations, and give me so much insight about life and art. I will miss watching him blow up villages in the purest form of pride and euphoria. I will never find someone as unique and striking as him.

Knowing he slept with that bitch was really painful but what hurt me even more was when he told me he didn't want to travel with me anymore. That travel was something I had really looked forward to, something that made me desperately want to live a longer life. I wanted it so badly! I couldn't stop dreaming about it, all the things we would have done and all the places we would have seen! I wanted to take the travel as an opportunity to grow as an artist. I wanted to be great. And I wanted him. I wanted him more than I ever wanted anyone before. Now it was never going to happen!

I hugged the toilet and begged it for merciful oblivion as I threw up. I had finished the bottle and the alcohol was hitting me hard but only worsened my mental state when I was trying to achieve the contrary. My body was hurting and I was falling into an unendurable dizziness that only exacerbated.

My kidney hurt and I realized that I've overdone it. I've never drunk this much in my life and I don't know if my body would be able to handle it. I was probably dying.

I always imagined I would die on the battlefield but I guess a filthy cubicle fits me better. Poor Deidara though, how embarrassed he would be to report back to the Akatsuki that I had died from alcohol poisoning. What a humiliating death. I haven't even written one final song. Confound it!

I lay on the floor when I suddenly heard two women enter the bathroom and talk amongst themselves in front of the mirror.

"That blonde guy was weird, don't you think?"

"Yeah, he's cute but he keeps talking about his art and explosions. I prefer more quiet and mysterious guys."

I was still sober enough to listen to their conversation. Of course it was Deidara, there was no other blonde explosive artist in this universe, I reckoned that for sure. What the hell was he doing, going to a bar and talk about art to some other women. I HATED it when he talked to other girls about art! Why can't he just talk to me! I don't understand! Am I not good enough! Why did he bother conversing with a bunch of artless harlots?

A newfound rage filled me, giving me enough strength to stand up and slam the door of my cubicle open.

"You don't understand what true art is!" I roared. "It's an explosion!" I threw my empty bottle at them although I was too drunk to aim and the bottle shattered the bathroom mirror. The women ran out of the bathroom.

I stood there dumbfounded. As the bathroom door closed I caught eye contact with a blue eye. Was that him or was I that drunk? Regardless, I ran back to hide inside the cubicle.

Only a few minutes passed before the bathroom door opened again and a pair of feet with black-colored toenails stood at the entrance.

"I know you're here, Anjira. Come out, hm."

It was really him!

There was no way though I could face him. Not while I'm drunk like this. Besides, this was a female restroom, he wouldn't come in here.

"We need to talk, hm."

Oh no, not the talk. I could not do that. There was no way. I was too afraid to find out what was on his mind. I remained quiet.

After not hearing anything, he entered and looked at the shattered glass on the floor. He actually went inside the female restroom! What was wrong with him!

"You know, I shouldn't have to chase your ass around like this! Come out now!"

I was hyperventilating. I should, I really should go out and listen to what he had to say. Explain myself. Apologize for ruining his hook up even though it pains me. Attempt to fix our partnership. Salvage the trip. There were so many things I should do. Get myself together and put an end to my drinking habits. He was willing to talk and now was my chance.

But thinking about how I would say all these things overwhelmed me. I could face the most dangerous foes, look death in the eyes, but opening up to someone? How was that done? I've never opened up to anyone before about my fears, my weaknesses, my problems. That was something still beyond me.

I was a coward. I was not good enough and that was the ultimate truth. And so I stepped on the bowl and stealthily escaped through the window, throwing away my last chance to redeem myself.

I staggered through the empty alley, with no sense of direction before bumping into some guy.

"Hey, watch it!"

"Watch your face!" I angrily yelled back.

"Hold on… is that an Akatsuki member?" There were more men behind him. "It's our lucky

day."

I was too drunk to react to anything and before I knew it, they knocked me out.

The sun was already high in the sky when I regained consciousness. Everything was blurry but I could make out that I was being carried by someone and there were three other men arguing among themselves.

"Then look harder! If she's an Akatsuki member then she must be in the bingo book!"

"I already looked through the damn thing 3 times! She's not there!"

The guy carrying me threw me on the ground to assist his comrades looking through the book. My whole body was so numb that I couldn't even move and I felt dry and groggy. I think I could feel a severe pain in my kidney but the numbness drowned it out. My head was still spinning but I tried to look around for any clues that would give away my location, however, my efforts were in vain. I couldn't see much. I should have listened more to Deidara and always wear my glasses. He's always right.

"She has to be a member! She's wearing the Akatsuki cloak!"

"That doesn't mean jackshit! Even my wife can make a cloak like that!"

"The bounty office won't give us a single Ryo if we can't identify her. We'd better be off letting her live and sell her as a slave."

My mouth felt parched and I couldn't make a sound as I listened to them debate whether they should just try their luck and sell my corpse to the bounty office, or sell me to some rich pervert.

One of them was determined to find my identify and started inspecting me and ripped off my clothings while I helplessly tried to move. He ordered the others to unlock my scroll before he noticed my hand and pulled my ring off.

"This ring… Isn't this what the Akatsuki wear?"

There was no way I could defeat four men in the state I was currently in, so I had no choice but to activate my cursed seal of heaven.

I tore my hand through the man's chest before retracting it and taking back my ring. The rest of the group charged at me and I killed them with ease, except for the one who had carried me, he turned out to be rather tough. He was a good sword fighter and could keep up with the blows of my guitar. But even in my cursed seal form, I was sluggish and slow due to the alcohol poisoning. To make matters worse, he pierced right through my arm. He was also able to slash cuts on my wrist and the side of my neck. He must have hit my veins because I was bleeding profusely. I felt myself weaken so I pushed myself and overpowered him, killing him before he could kill me.

I walked a for a few feet before collapsing and involuntarily transforming back to normal. The sun glared down at me as I was laying in a pool of my own blood. I took my guitar and attempted to heal myself but my fingers would cramp due to the wound on my arm. I couldn't play the right tune to heal myself, no matter how hard I tried. I cursed myself and remembered the time Deidara told me how he escaped from a large group of Hidden Leaf Ninjas without any arms. Him being able to render his art even with missing limbs made him the greatest artist I have ever known. And here I was, being unable to play because of a few stab wounds on my arm. How pathetic.

I guess this was it. Pain was not a nice feeling but at least you'd know you're still alive. But when you can't feel a thing anymore, you know you were going to die. Many times did I feel like this before but this time Kabuto wasn't here to fix me up. Probably for the better.

The only regret I had was that I never apologized to Deidara for causing so much trouble all the time. That I never told him how much I appreciated it when he watched me play music. How much I loved our artly conversations throughout the night until dawn. How proud of him I really was even though he didn't need my acknowledgement. How he inspired me. How much I loved him, even with his many issues.

None of this would have happened if I just listened to him and stayed put. If I had just stayed in my room like a good girl and wait for him to want to talk to me instead of drinking myself to death. If I had to shown myself in the bathroom of the bar instead of escaping and running into a bunch of creeps who would sell me, dead or alive. But that's the price I pay for being a coward and an idiot.

I slowly drifted in and out of consciousness, seeing parts of my life flash before my eyes and heard beautiful music. Music had always been a part of me, it was always beautiful, in life and in death. Oh, how I wish I could play one last time.

I had hallucinations of Deidara, I saw his sky blue eyes and his illuminating golden hair. My angel, my home, my only friend, my muse.

"I've always wanted to be like you…." A tear dropped down my face as I said this.


	22. Resolution

No matter how hard he tried, Deidara could not get any sleep that night. He had been tossing and turning for hours, trying to stop all those thoughts in his head. He had been so irritated the last couple of days and it didn't seem to get any better. Perhaps some fresh air would help.

As he left his room, he slowly passed his partner's room. No lights or sound came out of it and he wondered if she was even there. Well, he would not check and simply go on his way.

He walked through the village, noticing how few people were out this late. The village was just too small and there was nothing to do. Boring. He might as well just blow it up.

How he wished to visit another village like Sasori had shown him once before; vast with lots of sightseeing and different attractions to entertain oneself. Not exactly Sasori's thing, but the blonde had thoroughly enjoyed himself. It had been one of his greatest masterpieces when he had blown up that village. Maybe he'll find another village like that once he travels with Anjira.

Oh… he was thinking about the travel with her again. He had to stop thinking about that, it was no good for him.

He passed by a bar, which seemed like the only open establishment at this hour. He decided to go in, wondering if his partner might be drinking here. Relieved to find out she was not sitting at any tables, he took a seat although a tiny flicker of worry went through his mind, troubled about not knowing her whereabouts.

He distracted himself by approaching a pair of pretty girls. Throwing his head back and flashing them a charming smile, he conversed with them for a bit even though they did not seem very interested in art, before they excused themselves to go to the bathroom. He glanced around some more but no one else seemed intriguing enough to talk to. Just as he was about to leave, he heard someone yelling in the bathroom.

"You don't understand what true art is! It's an explosion!"

The sound of glass shattering followed. The two girls he talked to earlier ran out with terrified expressions on their faces and as he looked at the bathroom door slowing closing behind them, his eyes briefly met Anjira's before shutting close.

She had been in the bathroom the whole time! Having heard her defend his art flattered him and he almost wanted to forgive her. He lingered for a moment before finally deciding he would call her out. He didn't really know what he wanted to do, he just wanted to see her and decide what to do once she comes out.

He opened the bathroom door.

"I know you're here, Anjira. Come out, hm."

Only silence answered him as he stared at the shattered glass in front of him. Most of the shards belonged to the mirror but he could make out that some pieces belonged to a bottle. Of course she had been drinking, what else could he have expected from her?

He knew she was here, he had not been dreaming! It was her voice he heard and her eyes he saw, he was confident about it!

"We need to talk, hm."

Yes, talking would probably be a good idea. Anything, as long as she showed herself. Yet, no one showed up and he felt impatient so he stepped inside the women's bathroom. Why was she making him do such a thing! Why couldn't she just come out! Why did she have to complicate everything?

"You know, I shouldn't have to chase your ass around like this! Come out now!"

Still nothing. Whatever pardon he wanted to give her for defending his art was gone now and he was mad at her again. He angrily forced each cubicle open but there was no sign of Anjira until he noticed one of the windows above a cubicle was open. She escaped from him.

He glowered at the window before turning his back on it and leaving. He had no intention of playing hide and seek with her. He would not chase her around. How childish of her. It honestly offended him.

The rushed back to the inn, unwilling to check her room. He entered his own and threw himself on the bed, still unable to sleep. He hated her for doing that. All he wanted was to see her and talk to her but she kept running away from him. Always.

He tried to calm himself and sleep but was still unsuccessful at it. As soon as the first rays of sunlight showed themselves on the horizon, he got up and barged into her room. She was not here either! Where the hell was she?

A sudden anxiety gripped him. He had been awake the whole time and had not heard anyone come in or out of the room next to him, meaning she never returned to her room! Where did she go after he saw her at the bar?

She knew they would have to leave early for their mission! How could she forget that? What if after she left the bar she got so drunk she passed out and was lying around somewhere?

He was too impatient to think anything through and decided to use the most crude method. He left the inn and flew on his bird and threw bombs at one of the buildings. That should wake her up or prompt her to come out if she was childish enough to still hide from him.

Screams broke the silent early morning and people ran out of the burning building. He used his eyescope to scan for her but he could not see any sign of her. He blew up another establishment.

He still couldn't find her. While he loved chasing girls, this was already too much. Just where could she be? What if something happened to her? What if someone held her captive?

He blew up one building after another, so focused on using his eyescope to find her that he couldn't even appreciate the explosion.

After blowing up several more buildings, another dark thought crossed his mind. What if she left the village?

But why would she do such a thing? Why would she leave him?

There was no time to stand around here and make speculations, he had to find her. If she left then she shouldn't have gotten too far and he would be able to overtake her speed with his bird.

As much as he wanted to blow up the village, he couldn't do it, knowing there was still a possibility for her to be here.

He left the village and flew off. He was determined to find her. He had to find her, there was no other choice.

After flying around for several hours, he finally spotted a clearing in the forest where a battle seemed to have taken place. Several bodies were lying around and among them- Anjira.

His heart nearly stopped as he saw her lying in a pool of blood, her clothes ripped apart and her arms still resting on top of her guitar, as if she went down playing one last song. A tragic sight.

He quickly flew down to her and lifted her guitar away from her body.

"I've always wanted to be like you…." She whispered, a tear falling from her face.

"Hoi, what happened to you, hm!"

She passed out. He fumbled to check her vital signs. A wave of relief washed over him as he could still hear her breathing and her heart beating. None of her vital areas seemed to be injured but there were multiple lacerations on her arms and one on her neck. She was losing too much blood.

He took out his first aid kit and put bandages over her wounds, hoping that would be enough for the meantime but she would need further treatment. He never bothered to learn any medical skills since he always relied on Sasori for that matter.

It was a good thing he hadn't blown up the hospital in that village because that's exactly where he needed to bring her. He picked her up before jumping on the bird and flying back to the village.

He quickly rushed her to the Emergency Room, yelling at the doctors to hurry and fix her. Due to the explosions earlier, many had fled but a few still remained. He waited impatiently as they attended to her and run several tests. After what seemed like an eternity, one of the doctors showed him the results which nearly made him faint.

She only had one lung, no appendix, no spleen, parts of her intestines were missing, and only one kidney, which was full of stones. It was like a student had practiced dissecting a frog and poorly put most parts back together. On top of that, her liver was failing and all her other organs were suffering from alcohol poisoning, dehydration and blood loss.

The doctor said that a human could survive without those organs but would make it more difficult to recover from disease and injury. They also discovered her cursed seal which might complicate everything else as well.

There was no doubt that Orochimaru had done this. But she knew about this! When he had caught her shouting at herself, she said something about losing her organs and not being able to live her life to the fullest. Why didn't she tell him anything when he asked her if anything else was wrong with her?

He remembered all those times she had drunk and eaten junk food as if she wanted to hasten her death. Why was she like this? Why was she living this way?

She needed a new kidney and liver as soon as possible or she would die.

He rested his head in his hands and felt like blowing himself up out of frustration. He excused himself from the room to take some fresh air and create explosions to soothe himself.

She had dug a grave for herself and he didn't think he could help her out of it now. Just what should he do and what would he tell the Akatsuki? Should he just brace himself for her death and let her go? He hated thinking about it. He didn't want to think about losing her.

It was no surprise that he got attached to his partners, he had been disheartened to discover that Sasori had died, one of the few people he had least expected to pass away before him. Was it really an artist's fate to be alone?

At least now he could prepare for it, but was that what he was really going to do? Shouldn't he try to help her in some way? Shouldn't he try to find a liver or kidney for her?

The doctor kept asking what his decision was and Deidara was not entirely sure. Returning to the room, he stared at Anjira who was still unconscious and fighting for her life.

He stared at her inanimate fingers, wishing he would see them move over the strings of her guitar again. He stared at her lips, wishing she would flash him that mischievous grin again when he blew something up, or hear her pretty voice again. He stared at her closed eyelids, wishing she would open them and look at him with her dreamy eyes once again. His stomach churned. He couldn't bear to never see them move again.

He didn't need her… but he wanted her. He wanted to take his journey as an artist alongside her. The companionship he found in her was one of a kind, one that was irreplaceable. There was no one like her.

He knew he had to help her or he would lose the only girl he could connect with.

And she owed him. She owed him a lot. An explanation, an apology and everything else he would ask of her. She could not die before he got to hear those things from her.

He decided to consult Kakuzu on this. He had a lot of connections, surely also including organ trade, and he might be able to help. Kakuzu would not like to hear about the expenses of the surgery but Deidara didn't care about that.

He summoned Zetsu and told him to explain their current situation to Kakuzu as well as to their leader. After waiting for a longer time, Zetsu returned with a message from Kakuzu that he can provide her with new organs, including another lung, but they needed to transfer to a different surgeon he was connected with and he would be expecting Anjira to pay him back. Their leader had also given his acknowledgement on this situation and allowed all procedures to be done as long as they could secure the three-tails soon.

Deidara nodded and prepared to have her transferred but as soon as he tried to return, another doctor rushed towards him.

"Sir, we are losing her!"

He could not go out and find someone to take away their kidney, nor could he force one of the staff members; there would not be enough time. The donor needed to be ready.

"Just take mine, hm."

Such a rash decision, he wished he had more time to think this through, and he regretted it a bit. Was Anjira really that much worth? He didn't want to be cut open by anyone, hell, he wouldn't even trust Sasori with such a task, but he already agreed to this.

The doctor ensured him that the procedure would be safe and that he could survive with one kidney and would only take a portion of his liver which would grow back to its normal size after some time. The blonde didn't care as long as everything worked well, cause if he died by something other than his explosion, he would haunt the shit out of this place.

Anjira better treat him a whole store of Bakudan after this.


	23. Endow

I woke up alone in what appeared to be a hospital room. My head felt heavy and my memory was a bit hazy as if I had been drugged, and it took me quite some time to remember what had happened.

That's right, I got wasted and kidnapped by a bunch of guys who nearly killed me. How did I end up here? Did someone find me and bring me here? Was that someone perhaps Deidara…?

The door opened and a young nurse entered, carrying some papers with her.

"Oh, thank goodness, you're awake!" She took a seat next to me. "How are you feeling?"

"... fine... confused... hungry…"

She nodded and wrote down some notes.

"Do you remember your name?"

I don't know if it was Deidara who brought me here but even if he did, he wouldn't disclose my real name, regardless of whether I'm in the bingo book or not. I hoped it was him or I would have a hard time getting out of here.

"Tayuya."

"Oh? That's a lovely name."

"No, it really isn't." I grumbled.

"Can you remember your age?"

"I'm… 15."

She asked me a few more questions about myself which I assumed were to determine if I had Amnesia.

"Do you remember your engagement?"

"... I don't believe I'm engaged to anyone?"

She nodded and sifted through her papers.

"It appears you have slight Amnesia, which may be a result from your recent trauma. Your name is Kurotsuchi, 17 of age."

I furrowed my eyebrows. Wasn't that the girl from the Hidden Stone that kept referring to Deidara as her brother? At least this confirms that it really was my partner who had brought me here. I was relieved but at the same time worried about what he would have to say about all of this.

"You planned to marry your fiance, Akatsuchi, on your 18th birthday. Can you remember him?"

"My _what_?"

My fiance? That wasn't supposed to be Deidara, was it?

"Unfortunately, you were kidnapped by Orochimaru. His experimentations resulted you in a near kidney and liver failure but thankfully, your fiance rescued you, and even donated his kidney to you. He really loves you." She smiled tenderly.

"... huh?"

I really hope it was not him and I sure as hell hope he wouldn't do something as foolish as to donate his kidney to me. Surely he must have acquired it from someone else. And did they actually believe this infeasible cover story? Didn't they know Orochimaru was dead? And didn't they see that there was too much alcohol in my system? Did they actually also believe that Orochimaru was to blame for that? Cause I would have been much happier all those years if I was given some booze.

I was going to open my mouth to ask something but then my very own "fiance" entered the room.

"Sir, your fiance is finally awake." I couldn't help but cringe a little as she said this. "We've just diagnosed her with Amnesia-"

"It's fine, hm." He dismissed her to give us some privacy before he crossed his arms and looked at me like a parent who has finally decided to disown their child. It was time for me to face the music.

"So… I assume you really are my 'fiance'." I swallowed.

"I am, hm."

"Please don't tell me you gave me your kidney."

"I did and part of my liver too, now would you explain to me why you didn't tell me about your condition when I asked you?!"

My heart skipped a beat. Why had he done that!

"No way… no, no.." I buried my face in my hands, nearly hyperventilating. History has repeated itself. The pain in my kidney was gone but it was not mine. It was his and it shouldn't even be there in the first place!

"Why did you do that..."

"Answer my damn question!"

"I- I don't know. I didn't want to trouble you with it..."

"Really! Look at all of this trouble we have now!" He scoffed. "How long did you think you would have avoided this 'trouble' by eating and drinking all that shit, hm!"

"It's a vice. I know I haven't done anything to fight it and it's all my fault. I'm sorry."

"Sorry is not gonna cut it, hm! Do you have any idea what I've done for you?! I've bothered Kakuzu to get you new organs and lied to them that you didn't have any idea you were missing them."

"No way…" I was beyond ashamed. Not only did Deidara give a piece of himself, but the rest of the Akatsuki were asked to help, all because of my recklessness. Regret filled my very core. And as I glanced at Deidara, I saw that he was also regretting what he did. Just looking at him, I could tell that he made that decision on impulse and didn't think it through. Just like me back then.

"Why did you give up yours? Why not someone else's?"

"You were dying; there was no more time, hm. I was gonna transfer you to Kakuzu but your body was already giving up."

I shrunk back and tried my hardest not to cry. The fact that a piece of him was literally inside of me was killing me. What's even worse was that he was making the same mistake as I did. He should not have done something like that for me.

"Will you get a new kidney from Kakuzu as well?"

"No way, I'm not gonna tell them that I gave you my kidney, hm."

"Why not?"

"What are they gonna think? I'm not gonna hear the end of it, especially from Hidan and Tobi, hm."

"You really should. I know what it's like-"

"You know what it's like but never bothered to change your diet, so you don't get to tell me what to do. I'll blow myself up before anything can happen to me, hm."

I shook my head at his stubbornness.

"How did you know Orochimaru took those organs from you in the first place? Did he tell you? That doesn't seem like him at all." He asked.

An uncomfortable question, but since it all came down this, I should be honest with him. He deserved to know.

"…I consented to it. The guy I liked was very sick and I wanted to help so I donated some of

my organs to him. And just like you, I wish I hadn't rushed the decision."

His expression was a mix of disbelief, sadness and disgust before he turned away from me.

"You're so stupid, hm. Why would you do something like that for anyone?"

"Why did you do it for me?"

His face went even sourer.

"I should have just let you die there, hm."

"You probably should have."

"And then? You'll just abandon your art? I thought you wanted to be the greatest, hm!" He crossed his arms. "I simply did it because the world doesn't have enough intellectuals to appreciate true beauty and I wanted to preserve that; nothing more, hm."

There was a lot of anger in him. Anger that made him say whatever came first to his mind, but I've learned not to take everything too personally. Despite that, he still wanted me to realize my dreams. My feelings for him hadn't changed. I loved him, and it was hard to believe he would go such lengths for me.

I swore to myself that I would not let his sacrifice go in vain. I owed him my life and so much more and I would give him whatever he'd asked of me. I would stick by his side even if the whole world turned against him.

"I will be the greatest. We'll both be."

"I already am, hm. You're the one who needs to get their shit together."

"You're right..."

"Then you better get dressed cause we need to get out of here."

I agreed and he left the room to allow me to change. I pulled the dextrose needle from my hand and changed from my hospital dress to my usual clothes with the Akatsuki cloak.

I met up with him outside and as we made our way out, the nurse tried to stop us.

"Excuse me, I think it's too soon to leave-"

"We'll miss our wedding, hm." He said as we rushed past her and I stifled a laugh.

"I still can't believe you made up such a ridiculous story."

"I couldn't think of anything else. Can't say we're siblings cause we don't look anything alike, hm."

"How come they believe the part about Orochimaru?"

"News like that probably don't reach small isolated villages like this, but who cares? I'll blow this place up and no one will live to tell the tale, hm."

"The tale of a heroic man rescuing his fiance from the evil claws of the snake demon…" I mused.

"You're not telling anyone I made that story up, you hear?"

We jumped on his bird and rose to the sky. I noticed that some of the buildings were already badly damaged.

"What happened to those?"

"... I was looking for you, hm. I thought you passed out somewhere and wanted to give a nice wake-up call."

"Too bad I wasn't there to hear it."

Deidara created another one of his C3 and dropped it on the village. After an immense flash of yellow, it was all gone. His eye sparkled with excitement but slowly faded as the smokey clouds rising from the wreckage were blown away in the wind. The low after the high.

"It's been a while since I watched you blow up a village." I whispered.

"Do you still hold the same opinion about it?"

"Of course."

"It's also been a while since I last watched you play, hm."

"Don't worry, I'll be getting back to work soon."

Even though I was pretty drunk that night, I could remember what transpired. How I ran away from him when he seeked me out. I thought that had been my last chance but here I was given another one. I must not waste it. I would not run away from home again. No more lies, just sincerity.

"I'm sorry. I really am. You were always right but I never listened to you. And I'm really grateful for everything you've done."

"You owe me 2 tons of clay and unlimited bakudan, hm!"

"Anything for you." I smiled. "But you're still getting a new kidney, okay?"

"I'll be fine. If you were able to survive living like that then I shouldn't have a problem, hm."

"Still, it's not worth to live like that because of me." I looked down. "Do you regret it?"

"Not yet, hm."

I tried to laugh but only a sad sound escaped my throat.

A question burned at the back of my mind and I couldn't fight it; I needed to ask him.

"Do you… still want to travel with me?"

He simply looked up to the sky, seemingly deep in thought. Based on his body language I could make out that the answer was no. My heart broke into tiny pieces but I respected his choice. After everything I've done I couldn't fault him for feeling that way.

"I know we haven't known each other that long but it feels like we do… except that whenever I ask you about your past, you become so elusive, hm." His voice was unusually soft. "I know that remembering whatever Orochimaru did to you still hurts you, but I need to know; you owe me that much. If you want to travel with me you need to tell me everything. I… respect you as an artist and I need to know what drives and pains you…" He cocked his head to the side, flashing me a roguish smirk. "Besides, it would make killing Sasuke so much more satisfying, hm!"

I nodded and looked deep into his blue eye, like a gate to the infinite sky, beautiful and soothing. I know I can trust in him. And it was time for me to learn how to open up about all my anguish and regrets, and there was no better person to confide in than Deidara.


	24. Origin

The earliest memory I can possibly recall was the very day I received my guitar, still small and wooden. I believe it was my birthday. It was given to me by a group of people who I assume were my family, I mean why else would they gift me?

Their faces are a blur to me but the moment I plucked the string of my guitar for the first time was crystal clear and full of glee. I had never heard anything so beautiful before. After that, I practiced playing nonstop and those were one of the best hours of my whole life. I picked up the skill quickly as if I had been born for this. Even though I was so little, I was already determined that this was my path. I wanted to be a musician.

I remember visiting a village where I played in the market place and the villagers loved my music, showering me with claps, cheers, coins and flowers. This was what I wanted to do for a living before had any idea how impoverished I would end up to be.

I later found out that I possessed the Sound Release Kekkei Genkai, a combination of wind and lightning which allowed me to manipulate my surroundings with sound waves, a "thunder effect" so to say, although at such tender age, warfare did not interest me.

But one day, for reasons I could not remember, I was separated from the people I was with. It was nighttime as I looked and called for them, the forest eerily dark and silent, and silence was something I had always loathed. There was no beauty in silence, only the sheer terror of anticipating something to creep up behind you.

And all the while I was frantically calling and searching, I heard someone creep up behind me. I turned and saw him- that snakey son of a bitch.

"Are you lost?" He asked me, his voice high and raspy and just overall creepy. He was clearly someone who could not be trusted and I was small and defenseless. A perfect prey for him.

I nodded.

"Come. I will help you find them. Hehehehe…."

His entire being terrified me but being young and naive, I followed him.

Next thing I knew I was trapped in a water tank, surrounded by more water tanks containing children just around my age.

The following years were filled with agony and pain, and there are a lot things I can't remember correctly, presumably because my brain is trying to protect me from those memories.

There were a few children I had attempted to make friends with but they either died or lost their minds in the experiments, leaving me lonely.

Countless times did I think I would end up like them but it did not happen and amidst all the loneliness, I met _her_. She sounds just like me but she isn't me and she always reminded me what I wanted the most. She helped me grow strong. She could be ruthless, but sometimes I really needed her to push me. I did not always agree with her, she was insane at times but I know for a fact that I wouldn't have survived without her.

There a few others that were humming and singing in the background. Yes, through all the suffering and torment, music was always there for me, comforting and soothing me. I would dream of music, dream of being out there again, playing and making other people happy with my music. That part of me never changed, not once. And I swore to myself I would not die here. I would get out of here and become the greatest musician that ever lived, no matter what I had to go through. I will pursue my art and Orochimaru will not stop me.

Some of the experiments forced me to fight other test subjects. Even as one of the experiments caused deterioration to my eyesight, sounds still guided me to survival and I learned how to kill. I pitied those who just cried, their eyes wide like frightened animals who wanted nothing more than just to go home but salvation was not something any of us could find here so I would quickly put them out of their misery. The ones that I hated were those who were so proud to have received Orochimaru's "blessing" and boasted about their given powers. I enjoyed killing them, enjoyed their expressions when they realized in their last breath that their new powers meant nothing.

I don't know if I received any new powers from Orochimaru and I don't care. If I did I would reject all of it. There was nothing more pathetic than to gloat about abilities that were given by somebody else, not even stolen but given to them in exchange for servitude! What a lazy and embarrassing way to acquire power! True strength is only acquired through hard work and creative innovation. I would never take the easy way when it comes to my music. It would be a disgrace for an artist!

As I grew a bit older I was released from my experiments and was ordered to help Orochimaru's elites, which consisted of many unique individuals who came from prestigious clans or were born with unique abilities, and they were all given their own rooms and served with good food! Unbelievable, this injustice. And to make matters worse for me, I received the curse seal which bound me to Orochimaru so I could not escape if I tried.

Still, I continued honing my skills in playing the guitar and it eventually got too small and limited for me. I learned to craft and upgraded my guitar, using whatever materials I could get, including weapons and bones of those I had slain. I wrote different songs and invented jutsus suitable for my Kekkei Genkai. I made myself strong and I didn't need anyone else to help me.

Some time later I, among others, had to go on a mission with the Sound Four, or Orochimaru's side bitches as I'd like to call them. There was one member who I was very excited to talk to and that was no other than Tayuya. I was enthralled to meet another person who knows how to play an instrument.

"What do you want, you lowlife?!" She spat out as soon as I approached her.

I scrutinized this short vulgar girl wearing an unfashionable hat, her boyishness rivaling mine.

"Let me hear you play."

"Huh? Why the hell would I do that?!"

"You're a musician too, aren't you?" I gestured to my guitar. "I could only imagine a member of the elite Sound Four to be as talented as everyone says you are."

"Heh. Just because you play the guitar doesn't mean you could understand my song. But if you insist I'll let you hear the melody of death!" She spoke in an arrogant tone before placing the demonic flute on her lips and played.

I was very disappointed by what I was hearing. It sounded a little bit more complex than what a toddler could compose and the melody seemed random and emotionally detached. All this excitement to talk to her but turns out she had absolutely no potential as a musician.

"What the hell was that?!" I criticized after she was done. "Are you just playing a bunch of random keys?"

"I told you, you wouldn't be able to understand the complexity of the song, you dumb bitch!"

"Was that the melody of death or the melody of diarrhea!"

"Who the hell do you think you are to criticize my song, you piece of shit!"

"You are not supposed to blow your flute the same way you blow Orochimaru!"

"Hey, girls are not supposed to talk that way." Jirobo spoke up.

"Shut up, fatso! I'll end this crackwhore right now!"

"Oh, go right ahead and try to defeat me with your pipe dildo!" I yelled back.

She played her flute and attempted to use sound genjutsu on me. Tough luck, something like that wouldn't work on me. Above all, it was easy to avoid it, all one had to do was cover their ears. That's the biggest mistake she made as a musician, if she even deserved to be called that. Music should not just be heard, but felt. It should vibrate through everyone's core so that covering one's ears wouldn't be enough.

I strung my guitar, counter attacking with a genjutsu of my own that shook her.

"What the-"

She immediately summoned her three Doki and but they fell under my genjutsu as well, so I quickly closed the distance between us until she was only two feet away from me. She was vulnerable in close range combat. Looks like she wasn't that great after all!

 _Cut the slut._

Just as I was about to struck her, Sakon pushed me to the ground and Jirobo held Tayuya back.

"Let go off me, fatso! Let me kill that bitch!"

"Enough, Tayuya! You still need chakra for later."

I struck at Sakon but he separated from his brother's body, causing me to miss and he wrapped his hand around my throat.

"You wanna play musician, you pretty bitch? How about I play do-re-mi on your ribs 'til they crack!"

"Pretty? Sakon, are you fucking blind?!" Tayuya yelled furiously, trying to free herself from Jirobo's grasp.

"You're not that pretty either, Tayuya." Kidomaru chimed in.

"Fuck off!"

Sakon's grip tightened. "Listen here, the only reason we're keeping you around is because you can heal! And we sure as hell don't need you but Kabuto asked us to keep our weak subordinates alive, so know your place, trash!" He threw me away from him.

"Eat shit!" Tayuya yelled before she and her team members resumed on their way, the other subordinates following them.

"You shouldn't disrespect them; they are elites chosen personally by Lord Orochimaru." One of the subordinates reprimanded me. This kind of loyalty made me want to throw up.

"I just heard a few secrets from them." I panted, still short on breath. "That Tayuya plunges her butthole with her flute after she takes a dump and that Sakon and Ukon have a micropenis, but Sakon's one inch shorter."

"Shut up! No one is on your side! You're just a superficial lone wolf!"

"And you know what wolves do? They eat brainwashed sheep like you!"

This further disrespect angered them and they attacked me. I ended up killing some of the subordinates I'm supposed to heal but I don't give a fuck! I was tired of healing people who don't know how to appreciate my music! Screw this mission! All I wanna do is fight the others and find a place to drink! Fuck Orochimaru and everyone who is loyal to him! I was losing my mind in this artless place.

I needed to become stronger so that I could defeat the Sound Four. I would start with Tayuya and take my sweet time ripping her to shreds and stick her flute where the sun doesn't shine.

I would focus on my art alone. At least that's what I thought would happen.

Obviously, I was punished for insubordination and compromising Orochimaru's experiment. It was around that time when I heard about the 'coming of Sasuke Uchiha', as if he were some kind of messiah, but it was easy to tell that Orochimaru simply wanted him as a new vessel because of the Sharingan. For that reason, Orochimaru wanted to enhance the curse seal and I got to be a guinea pig again.

I was sleepy during my confinement when suddenly the tube attached to my nape forced me to activate the first level of my curse seal. The black marks on my body were slightly different from when I first received it, but it didn't matter that much to me so I continued napping. Suddenly it got dark and I was forced to activate the second level, a form I had never seen myself in, and I grew terrified. I felt very wrong and very alien in my own body.

The capsule I was in opened to an underground arena and I was greeted with the sight of a dozen horrifying-looking test subjects. Did I look that deformed too?

The others started fighting each other in a frenzy while a few killed themselves, and I simply stood there, trembling.

My skin had turned dark as if I had been banished for weeks in the sun and long black claws extended from my fingertips. My hair was pitch black and had grown to the length of my hips. There was something huge and foreign on my back and as I carefully touched it with my shaking hands, I realized those were wings, rough like the skin of a reptile.

One of the test subjects was killed and his blood splattered all over the arena. I hesitantly took steps closer to the blood pool, examining my face in the reflection. Two horns had grown from the sides of my head and one from my forehead, my sclera turned black and my usual brown eyes had now an unearthly yellow-golden glow. I had black lipstick that wouldn't remove itself and unnaturally huge canine teeth.

I screamed. I looked like a devil straight from a story book! Would I look this ugly forever? How was I supposed to go out and play looking like this? Can I pursue my art if I had the appearance of a monster? Could I still take the profession as a musician without being shunned and driven out?

My scream had attracted the other test subject and they all charged at me as I sobbed. Did no one see through this madness?

Despite the abhorring appearance, I could not deny that I felt powerful, my movements were light but filled with so much energy. It didn't take me long to tear everyone else apart in the arena until I was alone. Again. And tired. So tired.

The door opened to the arena and I saw Kabuto and another guy enter the premise.

"Seems like she's the sole survivor. Lord Orochimaru will be pleased about the results." I heard Kabuto say as he adjusted his glasses. "Now all that's left to do is to tranquilize her. Will you do the honor, Kimimaro-san?"

As they came closer I could see the other guy's face. I guessed he was only a few years older than me. He had forest green eyes and his white hair shone like the moon. There were two scarlet dots on his forehead which were the same color as the ornamental tie that kept his front locks together on one side. His shirt exposed his young but strong body with smooth skin like marble. He was a beautiful boy and I had never seen anyone so immaculate under Orochimaru.

It was like looking at an angel while I was cast into the depths of hell, covered in blood, naked and forsaken, begging for salvation. How hideous I must look in contrast to a deity like him. And I don't know why but I got this false sense of redemption, as if he could save me from all this torment I was feeling inside right now.

"Salvation..." I whispered.

"There will be no need for that. She's already calm." His voice sounded serene but stern, yet it had a comforting effect I could fall asleep to.

As if a spell was broken, I immediately turned back to normal. I no longer looked burned and my horns and wings were all gone. Relief washed over me and clarity returned to my mind. My dream was not over. I closed my eyes and fell asleep, feeling calm like I never had before.

I awoke some unknown time later, with Kabuto fixing me up and after handing me prescribed medications he dismissed me.

As I staggered through the hallways I hesitated for a bit, feeling disoriented. Where the hell was my room again? I walked around until I came to a dead end. I swore it was somewhere around here!

"Loitering in the hallways at night is forbidden." I heard a familiar voice say.

Oh dear, it was the one and only Kimimaro again, former leader of the Sound Five as it was back then, and also the former supposed vessel of Orochimaru. I've heard plenty about him but the time in the arena was the first time I've seen him in the flesh. And I know for a fact that the Sound Four were terrified of him. I can't believe I passed out in front of him just like that.

I wonder why Orochimaru would want to replace him with Sasuke. Was the Sharingan really more worth than Kimimaro's very rare Shikotsumyaku?

"I.. was looking for my room. I kinda forgot where it was…." I scratched my head, feeling awkward.

"Forgot?" His expression did not move one bit. "Do you have amnesia?"

"Maybe a bit?"

"Normally I would have punished anyone who disobeys Lord Orochimaru's orders but I'll make an exception in your case. Let us ask Kabuto to help you. "

I silently followed him back to Kabuto and I finally understood why the Sound Four were so afraid of him. It wasn't just because of his unique Kekkei Genkai but also of how he moved with such deadly grace, so unpredictable.

"Kabuto, this person does not remember where her room is."

"Ah, my apologies, Anjira. I forgot to mention that amnesia is a side effect, but it should disappear within a few days. Anyway, your room is in the Eastwing 303. I'll call you back."

"Please don't..." I mumbled, barely audible.

"I'll accompany her." Kimimaro said.

We walked in silence through the hallways and I kept my distance from him; I didn't want to be on his bad side even though he was just another pawn of Orochimaru. Yet, I couldn't help but think that someone as strong and handsome as him was just being wasted away by that damn snake.

"Anjira… was it?" He suddenly spoke up.

"Yeah?"

"Tayuya has been talking a lot about you lately."

"Has she now? We are good friends after all." I said sarcastically.

"She says you were able to withstand her genjutsu."

"Yes. She has a lot to learn as a musician."

He remained silent for a while and I wondered why he brought it up. As far as I knew, he wasn't the talkative type and he wouldn't say anything if it wasn't of importance.

"Did she say anything else?"

"It appears to me that she was threatened by you. There aren't many people that Tayuya feels threatened by and in addition to that you now have an enhanced curse seal so you could possibly be on par with the Sound Four."

"I don't think I'm able to defeat all of them at once, unlike you."

"That's not what I meant." He said sternly. "I was suggesting that you should join them in retrieving Sasuke Uchiha."

"What?! No way.. I- I don't think I could get along with them."

"It would be a great opportunity to get closer to Lord Orochimaru. I think it's a waste for you to remain a test subject. You have potential… unlike the other trashes..."

I felt a blush rising to my cheeks and I felt embarrassed that I got excited over a comment like that. But there was no way I could work with the Sound Four or be interested in meeting Sasuke Uchiha and I sure as hell just wanted to stay away from Orochimaru as far as possible.

"... I don't know about that."

"I believe everyone is given life for a purpose. What is yours?"

"... To pursue music."

"Music?"

"Art, inspiration, fame and glory."

"Perhaps Lord Orochimaru could grant you those things if you rise up."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"Why do you say so?"

"He doesn't seem like the type who loves music."

"You don't know that. Perhaps he would appreciate it if he hears this music of yours."

He remained quiet. How odd this conversation went. Kimimaro was the least person I had expected to say something like that to me and I commend him for suggesting I could find art here. He was lost in thought and so was I and without much behind it, I just blurted out a question.

"Why is Orochimaru replacing you as a vessel?"

"... That is none of your business."

I raised my brow and shrugged. Should have known it was a sensitive issue.

No more words were exchanged as we reached my room. Thinking about it, this is the first time anyone had escorted me to my room.

"Think about joining the Sound Four. You're healthy and resilient. Cherish it." He said before walking away without another glance.

"Okay, thanks…" I answered, wondering what the last part meant.

This whole conversation may not have been of any importance but I couldn't get it out of my head and before I knew it, my music style had changed a bit. Instead of writing songs that were about yearning for freedom and hatred for Orochimaru, they were now themed about the desire to talk and be close to someone, and whenever I wrote them I always I thought of Kimimaro. How weird. What was happening to me?

 _It's love._

After all this time, I'm still blaming it on the hormones. How could I love him when he was everything I hated? A loyal slave to Orochimaru with no other purpose in life and yet, I never had the desire to kill him, all I wanted to do was shake him by the shoulders and tell him to wake up, Orochimaru is just using us and he's even replacing you; let's run away and find ourselves somewhere.

I didn't even talk to him after that encounter, I was perfectly contented with seeing him in the hallways and walk the other way as I did not have the guts to approach him like some bashful schoolgirl.

Eventually, I was convinced that I was in love with him, and that he had inevitably become my muse, my first muse, even though my affections made absolutely no sense. I don't know what is was with me and angelic-looking men. When an artist thinks they're in love there's just no holding back, they'll do things out of impulse, and often end with many regrets.

Kimimaro had to travel to a different base to check on his friend Jugo and he had been gone for a while. When he finally returned, I made the impulsive decision to creep up to his room but as I stood in front of his door I stopped dead in my tracks. From the inside I could hear someone having violent coughing fits that did not stop. Was that... Kimimaro?

I broke down the door and saw him, hands covering his mouth as blood spurted out.

"W-Why…. Are you… here?!" He struggled to speak.

It all made sense now. Why he was no longer part of the Sound Five and why Orochimaru was replacing him- he was ill.

"Ka.. Kabuto… I need… Kabuto..."

"I-I'll get him!" I immediately sped towards Kabuto's quarters.

"I'm afraid there's really nothing I could do about your terminal illness." Kabuto muttered as he placed Kimimaro under medical care. "All I can do at this point is give you pain relievers."

"I expected as much..." He sighed. "All I can hope is that I may be of some use to Lord Orochimaru before I die..."

"Well, it's best for you to rest for now. The trip must have strained you." Kabuto rubbed his chin and left the clinic.

"Anjira." Kimimaro called out to me. "Why were you there?"

I grimaced and walked out of the clinic without answering him before closing the door behind me. It took awhile for the realization that he was dying to sink in my mind.

Perhaps that's why I liked him. Both of us had been brutally separated from our dreams. However, there was still hope for me. I wonder what it felt like not to have any hope left?

I returned to my room and started composing healing songs. Maybe I could come up with something to heal him. Just how would I do that? I've never been sick in my life, only gravely injured, and injuries were all I know how to treat. Regardless, I spent hours upon hours writing different songs in hopes they could heal him.

I returned to the clinic and played one song after another. He was at surprised at first but listened, sometimes he would fall asleep but he was still coughing and taking pain killers. All of my songs rendered useless. Damn it!

After several days of trying, Kimimaro did not wake up. His heart was still beating and he was breathing with great difficulty but it didn't take a doctor to figure out that he wouldn't live much longer.

I just sat by his side and wept. I wonder why I was doing this, I barely knew him after all. Did I just want to keep my muse alive for the sake of my own vanity? For inspiration? Out of loneliness? What did his dreams mean to me when it was his master who robbed me of mine?

In the end, it was futile to keep questioning myself. I was not a reasonable person in the first place and the things I do were always done due to momentary emotions. I suppose that was just the kind of person I am.

As I sat there thinking, I heard Orochimaru and Kabuto heading to the clinic so I hid from them.

"There's nothing more I can do for him." I heard Kabuto say.

"That is very unfortunate, indeed." Orochimaru mused. "Kabuto, I need Sasuke now. Let

them bring him to me."

"Understood, Lord Orochimaru." Kabuto bowed. "What do we do about him?" He gestured to the unconscious boy.

"It doesn't matter anymore. All I need is Sasuke."

I couldn't sit still anymore.

"You're just throwing him away now that he's no use to you. You disgusting bastard." I tightened the grip on my guitar.

"Ah, if it isn't Anjira, the survivor of a hundred experiments." He croaked. "It's natural for human beings to want new toys. You aren't any different either as I can see you have improved your guitar."

"Don't change the subject; you're hardly human yourself. Or are you? Do you bleed like us?"

"You wouldn't want to find out. But even if you kill me, it won't help Kimimaro."

I glared at him, knowing he was right. But was there even anything that could help Kimimaro?

"There is a way to help him." He said as if he read my mind. "You see, Kimimaro's disease is killing him from the inside. All of his organs are failing, especially his lungs. If you give him one of them, he might be able to live much longer. Well, what will you do? I know that you really want to save him."

This disgusting manipulation. Any sane person would have shown him the middle finger and tell him to cut out the bullcrap.

 _Do it. Do it for love._

But I was so overcome with emotions that I agreed. A decision I regretted to the present day. I really wished I had taken time to think about it.

Kabuto took one lung and one kidney from me, and other things that I couldn't remember. It was a dangerous game, he could taken more vital organs from me and killed me. I compromised my future for someone I knew, from the very first day, would not be part of it and I often hated myself for that.

I also blamed _her_ for convincing me to do it and she didn't even regret it. But what's done was done.

Kimimaro still seemed weak but his coughing fits had gradually decreased, though it can't be said that the illness was gone. My organs only extended his wavering lifespan but he still wasn't saved.

"Why did you do it?"

"I don't know..." I answered honestly.

"I don't understand why you would do this for me..."

"Neither do I..."

"... Either way, I'm eternally grateful to you for giving me a second chance at life."

"And what will you do with it?"

"I will fulfill Lord Orochimaru's aspirations."

"Even though he has abandoned you?"

"He has not abandoned me!" He raised his voice.

"Yes, he has! He only cares about Sasuke Uchiha now!"

"Then I will help him retrieve Sasuke! If that's what it takes… I understand that I cannot be his vessel anymore… Sasuke will be my reincarnation."

I ran through my hair in annoyance. This was all a mistake.

"The Sound Four… perhaps I can still join them… prove to Orochimaru that I can still carry out his will..."

"They've already been gone since last night. It's pointless." I informed him.

"If I leave now, I might still be able reach them. Come with me."

"I will not!" I refused.

"Why do you so profoundly refuse to serve Lord Orochimaru?"

"Because he'd just taken me as a child and subjected me to all those horrible experiments!"

"It was a necessary sacrifice-"

"Sacrifice, my ass! He's just using everyone as he pleases! And to him you're just a toy he got bored of. You're wasting away your life being his slave-"

"How dare you talk about Lord Orochimaru that way!" He rushed up to me, furious. "You saved my life so I will spare yours, but know that you are wrong. He is the only one who understands me. It seems more like you're the one wasting away your life by hiding away your potential!"

"My potential is for my music alone! Not to serve anyone!"

"That is selfish. My powers are to be used by those I love."

"Others will use and betray you. In the end you only have yourself."

He stared at me, thinking how to counter what I've said but our argument was interrupted by Kabuto.

"Kimimaro-san, Lord Orochimaru needs you to go and assist with the retrieval. Kidomaru and Jirobo have fallen. You have to hurry so Lord Orochimaru can still use Sasuke's body as a host…"

"They failed him… I'll kill Sakon, Ukon and Tayuya after this..."

"Since the transplant was successful, he expects that you are perfectly fit to complete the mission."

"Of course, I will move out immediately." He turned to me. "I assume you're not coming."

"Right."

"Well, thank you for-"

"Save it."

He nodded in acknowledgement and left.

 _You let him go._

No choice. There was no chance that he would agree to find a way to break free of our curse seal and run away with me.

That was the last time I ever saw him. His body finally gave up during a battle along with all the organs I had donated to him.

All of the members of the Sound Four had been killed as well by a bunch of Chunin and Genin. How pathetic. A shame I'll never get to battle Tayuya for real. All this death just for the Sharingan brat. Despite that, Sasuke Uchiha made it to the Hidden Sound anyway and was taken under Orochimaru's wing.

"Out of my way." He demanded as I passed by him.

"I was walking here first." I growled back.

He was nothing but an arrogant brat who thought he was better than everyone else just because of his eyes, talked big but didn't talk back, had an annoying voice and no other reason to exist other than to kill his older brother Itachi Uchiha, so he involved Orochimaru in his family problems. To say he was the reincarnation of Kimimaro was an insult; Sasuke did not nearly possess the grace and maturity of Kimimaro. Kimimaro was well respected but Sasuke was hated by most. Well, whatever.

I mostly just kept to myself after Kimimaro's death. I never cried, just felt empty. He was the first person I somewhat got attached to and it just ended horribly, it was all a lost cause. I can't believe I would go so far, that was just crazy!

Years passed by and I never did anything Kimimaro had advised me to do. I never bothered rising up the ranks even as I continuously improved my skills, and I sure as hell never cherished my health, not while I was physically incomplete and I would often steal drinks from outside when I had the chance so I could drink in my room. Eventually, he gradually disappeared from my mind, but I never thought I'd get attached to someone ever again.

Then a miracle happened: Sasuke killed Orochimaru, a tragedy for everyone else but a comedy for me. That one person Orochimaru had been so obsessed about, the one he had replaced Kimimaro with, was the one to betray and end his life. Karma I'd say. I wondered what Kimimaro would have said if he were still alive. It was all too funny.

Silly memories, all of it. I thought I finally left hell but these experiences made me who I am today. And if this pain was what it took to meet Deidara, then I'd say it was all worth it. I would go through it again just for him.

I finally understood why Kimimaro had been so loyal to Orochimaru: it was a startlingly wonderful feeling to meet someone who understands you, whose ambitions aligns with yours, whose happiness was your happiness as well. Although unlike in his case, Deidara never abandon me and I will never abandon him. He saved my life and I finally understood the importance and beauty of loyalty and commitment, the beauty of knowing you were not alone.

No use looking back anymore. Now it was just me and Deidara against this world that didn't know art yet.


	25. Success

It was a beautiful day as Deidara and I continued traveling, the blonde seemingly deep in thought while I just remained cloud gazing. I don't know what he thought of me now, if he disliked me even more, but I felt relieved as if I've finally been freed from the burdening weight I've been carrying inside me this whole time.

"I still think what you did was really stupid." He spoke up all of a sudden.

"Yeah of course, I was young and dumb."'

"You still are young and dumb, hm."

"I was younger and dumber. Come on, don't be so smug. I find it hard to believe you never did anything you regretted."

"The only thing I regret was being defeated by Itachi, hm."

"Right..." I rolled my eyes, not believing him.

"... and maybe a few one night stands, like the one with Aimi…"

"Oh, I'm sure you really regretted that." I replied with a hint of sarcasm. I couldn't help but still feel salty about that.

"It really bothers you, huh?"

"No, Deidara, I wasn't bothered by it at all..."

"Then I wonder why you just barged in the room and cut off her head, hm?"

"I wonder why..."

Despite having made that oath to myself that I would never abandon him, a part of me still resented him for what he did with her that night, but perhaps my jealousy was crystal clear to him. I wonder what he thought about that?

Deidara did not answer but simply looked down to the world below us with his eye scope while his golden mane swayed with the wind. We were so much alike, yet I could never really tell what he was thinking.

"...hm?" It sounded like he spotted something. In an instant, the bird started descending and we landed on a clearing of a forest.

"Deidara-senpai, you've come back to me!" A strange-looking man wearing the Akatsuki cloak and a swirly orange mask ran towards us.

"Ugh... Tobi." Deidara grunted.

So this was Tobi, his former partner who overstepped the limit of Deidara's patience, according to him.

"Oh, Senpai! You brought the other woman with you!"

"What?"

"Just ignore him." He whispered to me before turning back to Tobi. "Why are you alone here? Weren't you supposed to stick with Zetsu, hm?"

"Senpai, he- he… he was eating a person! It was horrible! I couldn't watch..."

The blonde let out an exasperated sigh.

"You're hopeless as ever, hm."

"But Senpai, you won't believe what I saw!"

"What is it?"

"Try to guess!"

"Another damn bug? Look, we don't have time for guessing games, if it ain't the three-tails then- "

"Correct! Ten points to Senpai!"

"Wait, what?! You found the three tails?!"

"Yup! Just by the lake! There was this force separate from the leaf ninja engaged in a vigorous clash over the three tails!"

"Seriously? If this is a joke, I will kill you, hm!"

"I'm not kidding, Senpai!"

Deidara used his eye scope to survey the area around the lake.

"Hmm… I see a bunch of Anbu keeping watch. There really must be something going on in that lake, hm."

"See, Senpai? I'm a very useful ally! You must be very proud of me for doing your assignment!"

"Don't get cocky! For all we know you probably misheard something being the idiot you are. I'll have to go confirm it, hm! You guys stay here and wait." He barked before sneaking up to the Anbu.

"Ah! That's not how you say 'Thank you', Senpai!" Tobi sighed. "What a hothead! No wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend. Or… are you his girlfriend?"

"Oh, no, we're not like that." I looked him in the eye or rather at the black hole where his eye was supposed to be. What a weird mask. Why did it only have a hole for one eye? And why was he wearing a mask in the first place? People wearing masks were not very trustworthy and that was a long proven fact.

"So… " Tobi attempted to break the ice. "How did you enjoy your time with Senpai? Is he also a meanie to you?"

His voice was cheerful and high-pitched but something about it put me off. I could tell that he was a carefree and childish person but other than that I could not distinguish anything in his tone, no determination or particular ambition for anything. I don't know if he has one or if it was masked, just like his face.

"It was alright." I mused, not wanting to indulge too much information. "You guys seem more intimate than I imagined."

"Of course, Senpai was my first love. He was so excited to leave me for you! Such a heartbreaker!"

"Tobi, I can hear you, hm!" Deidara snarled as he returned.

"Woah, you already defeated all the lookouts! You are awesome Senpai! But not as awesome as me! I found it so you owe me!"

"Don't get so big-headed, hm! Sure, you found it but we still need to catch it." He crossed his arms. "But you're right, I do owe you one. What do you want?"

"I want to have our wedding in a bug garden!"

Deidara's face grew sinister, which scared Tobi, or that's the impression I got; it was impossible to tell Tobi's expression aside from his bizarre body language.

"I was just kidding Senpai! All I want is free dangos..."

"I change my mind, hm. Your info wasn't even accurate! You said there were forces from the leaf fighting over the three-tails, but there were only Anbu!"

"Really? That's weird. But at least you know now where it is thanks to me!"

"Whatever. Let's go Anjira, hm!" He beckoned me to get on his bird.

We flew over the great lake with Tobi following as he ran below us on the water.

"The lake's pretty big. It would be faster to make it come out by itself, hm. Tobi would make a great fishing bait."

"I'll lure it out." I announced before jumping down to the water.

"Oi, you just had a surgery; take it easy, hm!"

"So did you."

"Be careful, the fog can cause hallucinations."

"Yeah."

I strung my guitar, playing my music loud enough so that the vibrations would reach deep underwater.

Not even ten second passed when I heard a low, very loud growl and as I looked at the water, I could see a gigantic shadow emerging towards the surface. Whatever lived there must not like this sudden noisy disturbance.

"Anjira, it's coming! Get back, hm!"

I jumped up and as soon as my feet landed on the clay bird, a colossal armored turtle surfaced, causing water to splash everywhere. It was so enormous that could devour me in one bite. The bird was on the same elevation as its face so I could stare directly into its giant red eye.

"Holy shit, it's huge! So this is what a tailed-beast looks like?"

"Pretty much, hm." Deidara answered, very relaxed in this situation.

"Well, Senpai, this is your assignment so I will just leave it to you guys-"

"Hey Tobi, I think it's about time you prove your place here in the Akatsuki so I'll leave the rest to you, hm." Deidara flew us out of the three-tails reach, leaving Tobi behind.

"What?! Senpai, this is not even my mission!"

The beast raised its tail to hit Tobi..

"Are you sure about this? He might get killed."

"He won't die, hm." Deidara said confidently.

"Deidara-Senpai, you are the most evil person ever! I will tell Leader about this!" Tobi cried, running away from the beast as it chased him and gradually caught up to drag him underwater. I know that he annoys Deidara quite a lot but this kind of punishment was just brutal.

"Deidara… Would you test me like that too?" I shot him a questionable look.

"Of course not!" He patted my head. "Unless you did something really bad, hm."

I could still see the figure of the three-tails underwater and it didn't look like Tobi was coming back up anytime soon.

"Do you think he's..."

"He's hopeless as ever..." He muttered after making a loud exasperated sigh. He then proceeded to create a clay fish and threw it to the water, making it swim towards the three-tails.

"Katsu!"

Tobi was sent flying in the air, proceeded by the three-tails floating on its back, not moving. My mouth went agape. That was impressive!

"Did you just defeat that with a single bomb?"

His eye twinkled and grinned widely as he threw his hair back.

"Yes, I did."

"Remind me not to piss you off." Just as I said this, Tobi jumped on the belly of the three-tails and triumphantly shot his fists in the air.

"Oh yeah! I single handedly defeated the three-tails! Bet you didn't see that coming, Senpai!"

"Don't get so carried away and forget I saved your life, hm!" The blonde glared at Tobi.

The scolding continued as we tied the three-tails to Deidara's birds. The two were actually really funny together and I tried my best not to laugh at them. Deidara ordered Tobi to make sure the three-tails doesn't suddenly wake up and sat down on the bird beside me.

"Say, about Tobi… Why is he wearing a mask?"

"Beats me. He's probably really ugly, hm."

"Senpai, I can hear you! Actually I'm wearing a mask because I'm so handsome and I can't have girls follow me around all the time. I mean, I don't mind but you know, Senpai might get jealous."

"Right." Deidara rolled his eye.

I chuckled and looked and the sun setting, feeling uplifted.

"What are you smiling for?"

"Nothing, I'm still amazed that you defeated the three-tails so easily."

"It's not a big deal. It was weak because it didn't have a host."

"Are you saying that Jinchuurikis are stronger?"

"Yeah, having a human mind control that kind of power gives them tactical advantage. Thinking about it, there are only three more tailed beasts left. We're almost there, hm!" He smirked and showed off his hand. "I hope we get assigned to the nine-tails. I've got unfinished business with Naruto, hm." He continued.

"That's the nine-tails?"

"Yeah, he's a very powerful Jinchuuriki, hm."

Seemed like from this point forward we would have to look for people, which should be easier than finding a lone beast hiding somewhere in the wild. It was quite satisfying to catch one although I didn't really contribute that much to the capture of this one. It was mostly Deidara's work. Though, I still couldn't help but dread for sealing process, it was just so exhausting!

We eventually reached the Akatsuki base late at night and miraculously, the three tails remained unconscious the whole time.

"You guys are gonna leave me out of the party after I almost died?" Tobi moaned, frantically waving his arms around.

"Stay here and play bodyguard or something. I don't know, hm."

"I'll still tell leader that I'm the one who defeated the three-tails!"

"Yeah, yeah."

The boulder closed behind us and we jumped to our designated places before the rest of the Akatsuki joined us as holograms.

"Took you long enough." Leader commented as he stared at the three-tails.

"Well, if we had known it was a turtle, we would have found it sooner, hm."

"And how goes Anjira's condition?"

"I waited for you bastards and paid the surgeon in advance. You never showed up! You pay me back, you hear?" Kakuzu grouched.

"It was an emergency. But she'll still need new lungs among other things. We'll be there after we seal the three-tails, hm."

"I see." Pain approved. "Did that hospital have spare organs?"

"Yeah, they did."

He really wasn't planning to have himself fixed, was he? Well, there was no way I would let him live incomplete because of me. I know that he will get mad at me for that, I know it might damage his reputation, hell, it would even raise some suspicions. But I don't care! I want him to be healthy and achieve his artistic ambitions without complications!

"Deidara needs a new kidney as well." I felt all eyes on me.

"What for?"

"Anjira, no!" My partner yelled but I went on.

"They did not have any spares."

There was a soft murmur and I assumed they were already suspecting something. Afterall, it was a really big sacrifice, especially since we haven't even been partnered for that long., and I doubt other members would go that far for their partners.

"Are you guys together already or something? You're closer than I thought." I heard Hidan say.

"No, we're not, hm!" Deidara was glaring daggers at me.

"Eh, what the hell. Deidara donates a kidney to his partner but you can't even give me one of your five hearts, you greedy bastard!" Hidan nagged his partner.

"You don't need one. Now shut up or I'll rip your heart out and shove it down your throat."

"That's enough!" Leader's voice killed all murmurs and squabbles. "Very well, I expect that all procedures will be done as soon as possible so you can be ready to hunt the next target. And in the meantime, Itachi and Kisame, I expect the four-tails to be brought here within this week. We've wasted enough time already. Let us commence the sealing of the three-tails."

All of us channeled our chakra but I could still feel Deidara's wrath. I don't care, this was for his sake.

After three days and three nights of nothing but concentration, the sealing was finally done.

"It is finished. Good job everyone. Until next time." The leader's hologram dispersed and so did the others until the only people left inside the cave were Deidara and I.

"What the hell were you thinking! Now everyone believes we're dating or something!"

"Is it really that awful to be dating me?"

"Wha-what! I don't even know if that's allowed in the first place!"

"I don't give a damn about what they think. You know it's for your own sake. Come on, let's go meet up with Kakuzu."

"I don't want to be cut open again!"

"I've been cut open countless times. You'll be fine."

"I'm not like you, hm!"

"Come on." I gestured my hand at him. "I can't have you suffering while we travel."

"I'm not suffering... " He took my hand. I didn't not expect that. "Whatever, let's get it over with, hm!"

The warmth of his hand was comforting and the feeling of the lips on his palms was funny but I did not pull away.

I was glad he saw my point. Now all that was left was to catch the remaining beasts so that we could be free to go wherever we wanted.


	26. Festivity

Deidara was beyond relieved to find out that the surgery for both of them was successful. This would be the last time he would ever allow himself to be cut open and no sweet talk from Anjira would convince him otherwise. Funny enough, she was more worried about it than he was, which was uncalled for since he could look after himself just fine.

In the meantime, his partner and Kakuzu were discussing the expenses of the surgery and how much she owed him in total while Hidan bugged the blonde relentlessly.

"So, did you guys fuck yet?"

"Go away, Hidan!" He groaned. He was not in the mood to answer Hidan's stupid questions.

"But you like her?"

"For fuck's sake! Unlike you, I am generous enough to save the lives of my partners when I can, hm! Stop exaggerating everything!"

"Since when are you such a martyr?" Hidan rolled his eyes.

"For a religious guy you're pretty selfish, hm."

"Are you nuts? Do you know how many times I have to stab myself and you call me selfish?! Unlike your Buddha, Jashin's requirement for selflessness is absolute!"

"Buddha is not even a god." He rubbed his temple. "I was talking about generosity towards your fellows and here you are babbling about your religion again, hm. So typical of you."

"Kakuzu doesn't need anything from me when he has five hearts which he would never share. But I'm not as stingy as you think- I even bought him a book for his birthday but he just sold it at a flea market, that ungrateful bastard!"

"You bought me a romance novel and it wasn't even my birthday." Kakuzu appeared behind them with Anjira.

"It wasn't? I could have sworn I remember it correctly..." Hidan scratched his head. "Still, you could have at least shown more appreciation!"

"I would appreciate it if you'd stop wasting any more money. Also, you should know by now what I prefer to read."

"Hey, I know you like to read boring shit!"

Deidara shook his head and turned his attention to Anjira, who seemed a little confused by all the papers she was holding.

"I've already explained everything so we'll take our leave." Kakuzu mumbled as Hidan trailed after him.

"The miscellaneous fee is big and the interest is so high… He explained it to me a couple of times but I still don't understand jackshit about finances." She whispered, a bit skeptical.

He took a look at the papers with the breakdowns of the overall expenses and, as he suspected, the amount was big but he had faith that Anjira would be able to pay it off within a reasonable time. Though, the amount could be smaller and he was sure that some of the fees were unnecessarily big.

"That corrupt bastard..."

"It's fine. I'll just need some time to find someone rich I can rob."

"It's not gonna be that easy, hm."

"I know." she sighed before brightening up. "Anyway, we caught the the three-tails, we're physically all complete now and have yet to wait for our next target so why don't we celebrate?"

"Fine by me, hm. Where do you wanna go?"

"I heard one of the nearby villages is holding a festival. I've never been to one before..."

"A festival, huh?" He rubbed his chin. The last time he'd been to one was when he still resided within the Hidden Stone which had turned out to be a passable experience and going to one now with Anjira would be even more enjoyable. Just the two of them relaxing and having fun. They might even find some inspiration there.

"Yeah, why not? Let's go!"

He created an owl and jumped on it. Anjira could barely hold her excitement; her eyes sparkled with merriment and her smile was so bright, it melted his heart.

He was so glad to see her like this, so full of energy and ideas. She had told him that he would eventually regret donating an organ to her, but he did not. It was worth it.

Never again did he want to see her in the state she had been at the hospital: so inanimate and lifeless- it did not suit her at all! If she ever died, he would blow her up so he could always remember her as the crazy and mischievous artists she was, not in a form that wasn't suitable for her.

But that was not something he intended to happen because, if possible, he wanted to die before her so she could witness his ultimate art: him becoming one with his art and creating a massive explosion like no one had ever seen on this earth. He wanted her to see it from afar and gasp at it in awe because he knew she would understand the impact of this monumental art piece.

It was decided that they would attend the festival in casual clothing in order to avoid being recognized and followed, and also because the Akatsuki cloak did not do her much justice but he didn't tell her that. Yukatas were in season now and he had really wished to see her in one, however, they could not afford one now that Anjira was in debt.

As of now, she was wearing a simple short dress and had her hair fixed. She looked so pretty as her dark eyes reflected the colorful lights of the festival booths and he loved the way her hips swayed side to side while she walked like she didn't have a care in the world.

The festival was crowded with couples and friends as they checked out the different booths the festival had to offer. They played a variety of games and tried different food. Deidara made sure she didn't go overboard with the spicy food or drink anything alcoholic. She grudgingly obeyed and settled for bubble milk tea.

On the opposite side of the entrance, a live band was playing on a smaller stage. Compared to Anjira, they were clearly amateurs. Their music wasn't bad but it could be more epic if his partner was performing instead.

"What do you think of them?" He asked for her input, knowing she was the better judge at this.

"Not bad, but not that good either. Average at best."

"Thought so, hm. Why don't you go up there and play?"

"You want me to crash their performance?"

"Yeah. You're better than them, hm."

"That might be so, but as a fellow musician I should respect their music. It's not my place to steal their spotlight."

"Because you know you would shine brighter, hm."

There was a faint blush on her cheeks as she bashfully bit her lip, still hesitant.

"Go on. Play for me, hm. Let me see you be the greatest on that stage."

She looked deep into his eyes for a few moments before mischievously grinning and pushing her way to the stage and climbed up to it. The lead singer was too surprised to continue singing and the whole crowd went silent. What a sight it was- this pretty girl with a giant electric guitar.

The surrounding confusion did not faze her and she pulled the microphone stand to her, proceeding to play her guitar. A loud, powerful sound roared through the whole festival that soon manifested into a rock song, the rhythm and melody much more complex than the band's song. Anjira didn't need members, she was her own band.

Then she pursed her lips and started singing of despair and injustice, her voice resonating through the entire venue with a breathtaking enigma as if she were a ghost or a siren; so clear and celestial but she could make it rough when she wanted to. And her expression- so full of raw emotions. There was no holding back, she was giving it all like a true artist. He was so proud of her.

If he could have his way, he would have gotten up on that stage and ravished her, audience be damned, but he respected her art too much to do something like that. The performance was almost perfect if it weren't for the band members gawking at her like idiots.

Some people enjoyed it while others turned away but that didn't matter, the blonde remained watching until it was over. Then, all sounds died and the lights went dim. As he looked up the sky, he realized the festival had reached its highlight: the fireworks.

Anjira suddenly appeared beside him and leaned her arm against his shoulder as they watched colorful explosions go off one by one. It was a beautiful sight… but not beautiful enough. The ephemeral beauty in those fireworks was not executed well enough.

After about five minutes, the fireworks ceased and people clapped and cheered, the lights went back on and music continued playing in the background.

"How did you find it?" She smiled at him.

"The beauty of the moment was lovely but it didn't have enough impact, hm. It was too organized, the timing, the colors…"

"You're right. It wasn't chaotic and spontaneous enough." Her grin widened into that of mischief which he loved so much. "Now it's your turn to shine. Show them how to make real fireworks."

His grin mirrored hers and he was exhilarated. This was just how it was supposed to be: the two of them supporting each other and he wouldn't trade anything else in this world than to walk this journey as artists together.

He would not fall short to impress her either.

"Be prepared to be blown away by another one of my specialties: C2 Dragon, hm!"


	27. Harmony

Nothing makes my heart leap out of my chest like Deidara's roguish look on his face when he's about to blow things to the sky. With a wide confident grin and a flirty wink, he had my full attention as he introduced to me another specialty of his called the C2 Dragon which was a large clay dragon that kind of looked cute.

He grabbed my hand and we jumped on the dragon as it emerged to the sky, its wings much more powerful than any of his birds. Out of the dragon's mouth flew a smaller dragon into the stage I had performed on, causing people to scream and run in panic. The dragon's tail got shorter and another smaller dragon crashed into the booths.

"Art… is an explosion!"

Deidara himself created many more birds that exploded wildly in the sky in different colors with an excitement the earlier fireworks had lacked. It was an erratic and chaotic masterpiece.

"Beautiful..." I whispered as I watched in awe the most magnificent fireworks I've ever seen created by no other than my partner himself. To think he could create all this by himself, he was truly amazing.

Suddenly there were smaller birds whose explosions left colorful lines behind, which was an unusual work of Deidara. As I watched more closely, the lines formed the characters of my name before quickly disappearing. Did he just spell out my name in the middle of his fireworks?

A blush rose to my cheeks and as I looked to him, there was a soft expression on his face which quickly turned into a proud smirk.

"Katsu!"

He had sent a bigger dragon that obliterated the lively festival into a dead landscape; the people's screams died out and all that could be heard was the crackling of the fire slowly consuming the remnants of the festival.

"It can be quite overwhelming to admire each moment's beauty when there are so many explosions but that's what makes fireworks so spectacular. This was supposed to be the festival's job but I guess I'm just better at doing it, hm."

"No doubt." I replied, still thinking about my name in the fireworks.

"Did you enjoy my art pieces?"

"A bit too much I think."

That soft expression returned and his eye twinkled with something I couldn't quite distinguish.

"There's no limit to how much you can enjoy art, hm."

I bit my lip.

"About my name in the fireworks..."

"Yeah? Did you like it?"

"Yes, but why did you do that?"

"Cause I wanted to honor you by including you in my art, hm."

"Honor me?"

"Yeah, you've supported me all this time and I wanted to show you my appreciation, hm."

My heart pounded in my chest and my face felt so hot despite the cool wind blowing against it. Honored by Deidara through his art? What a privilege! Never had I imagined that it would come to a point where I would be so important to him that he would include me in his art! It was like attaining the ultimate recognition from him, from my favorite artist!

I was left speechless as the dragon ascended further in the sky until I could barely even see the orange of the fire anymore, mainly because I also didn't wear my glasses again. I looked up and saw the full moon, looking so enormous that I could almost see its craters.

The moonlight on his face made him look all the more alluring.

"You also did great on that stage. You should perform more in the future and become the greatest rock star, hm!"

I chuckled.

"Hopefully, but right now we still need to lay low. Can't call for much publicity."

"That's why I can't wait til we're all done with our mission, hm!" His voice was low but did not hide any of the enthusiasm in his tone.

"Me too." I smiled at him. "The places we'll see, the things we'll accomplish as artists..."

"...and the memories we'll make, hm..."

He was so close now, closer than I've ever seen him before. Then suddenly he grabbed my face and crashed his lips into mine. It all happened so fast, I couldn't process everything I was feeling. Soft, wet, the taste of clay and my heart feeling like it would burst anytime- that was all I could think of.

He grew rougher by the second, holding me tighter and forcing his tongue in, his hand moved up and down my waist. My partner in crime, my fellow artist, my muse holding me in ways I hadn't dared to dream about. And it made me tremble with anticipation, anxiety, and desire.

His lips parted mine and focused on my neck while the mouth on his hand caressed my thigh. I felt his bulge against me and I knew that whatever was to happen next would be inevitable.

My knees were already weak so he had no problem pushing me down. He had torn my dress apart and went on to remove my bra. Insecurity sparked in me and I covered my breasts, afraid he would find them too small but he impatiently pushed my hands away.

Even as he removed the last piece of my clothing, he studied everything as he would examine an art piece, molded them like his clay, his eye twinkling with curiosity and fascination. Part of me was so scared that I wanted throw myself off the dragon but another wanted to be brave and go through it all, find out how much he wanted me.

He took off all of his clothes and I saw him in his full glory. The mere sight of it made me want to worship him. Nothing could ever compare to the sheer beauty of him but it made me all the more question myself as to whether I was really worthy of it. My trembling wouldn't stop.

"Shh…."

A sharp pain seared through me down there and I gritted my teeth as I clung unto him as if he were the last being in this universe. It had begun. We were one. The voices in my head went crazy but I couldn't hear them, I was too engrossed in this feeling.

I felt so weak and vulnerable but I allowed it. I unintentionally let out a moan and covered my mouth in embarrassment but he pushed it away as if he wanted to hear me. The pain eventually subsided quickly and he kept thrusting as if he forgot it was still my first time. I felt the teeth in his hands sink into my hips. I was losing my mind. Losing myself, but it had never been better. This act, it was so primal and perverse, I loved it.

All logic and reason were leaving me; all my questions were forgotten, all I could think about was this feeling of him making me complete and soon the only thing that came out of my mouth was his name over and over again.

I thought about the girls he slept with and I wanted to be more important than them, I wanted him to forget about them, I wanted him to love me more and harder than he did any of them so I begged and begged him until all I lost all my control, my body was going wild and I had to scream.

His hands bit me so hard I bled but I didn't care, all that mattered was that I was all his. I remember the taste and smell of his skin, the sound of heavy breathing from both of us and the next few minutes were spent in a haze. Bit by bit I was coming to be myself again, the lost girl who gets easily confused by anything.

Oh dear, I had actually slept with him. I looked dumbfoundedly in the air, astonished that something like that could happen to me.

I looked at Deidara who appeared very relaxed and in high spirits, creating a small butterfly and watching it explode with a dreamy expression.

"The most beautiful moments exist in short fleeting moments, hm."

I tried to come up with something to say, but I felt dumb, as if my brain was working too slow. Yet, I felt relieved that he still talked to me about art and philosophy, meaning nothing for the worse had changed between us after that. Still, when it came to him I couldn't help but overthink.

Surely enough, this wasn't one of his 'hit and walk away with style' moments since he was still here with me. But he wasn't my boyfriend either, was he? Maybe we're just a casual thing, giving each other inspiration? What were we? Ugh, what a tacky thing to ask right after doing the deed!

"Are you okay? You look traumatized, hm."

"Yeah- no, I mean- yes I'm okay. Not traumatized." I struggled to speak.

"Hm? Looks like you haven't recovered." He cooed and planted another kiss on my lips.

Kissing after sex? That was something a boyfriend does, right? My head felt light again, thinking about the possibility that he did belong to me after all. But he did tell me back then he didn't want to be chained or settled down so why should be an exception?

"You're still trembling, you sure you're okay?"

I tried to nod but it felt like my head was not moving in a motion a nod was supposed to do.

"Just relax and enjoy the moment, hm." He kissed me again and held me close to him.

Just like that I could easily pretend he was my boyfriend, if I had to pretend in the first place. There were things I wanted to say to him but perhaps it was too early to do so. The label didn't matter after all. His warmth soothed me and I told myself that there was really nothing to worry about. I knew I was special to him, regardless of whether I was his girlfriend or not.

I turned to him and kissed him. I could kiss him now whenever I wanted to. My insides felt like they were going to burst; it had been such a long time since I was filled with this feeling of absolute content and bliss.

As long as it made him happy and I got to be close to him, as long as we got to hold each other like this, everything was alright.


	28. Young and Bold

The next few days were spent in a surreal bliss, so ecstatic it was hard to believe any of it was reality and yet here I was, indulging myself in every moment as if tomorrow wouldn't exist. Never had I felt more alive and inspired than I have now.

Our activities consisted of talking about art, making art, making love and resting- not necessarily in that order. Even though I had felt incredibly anxious and insecure towards him at first, everything seemed so naturally now. It's just happened when we felt like it, as if that's what we have always been meant to do. It was exciting and unpredictable, but the comfort was always there. Our conversations never ceased to be awkward, on the contrary, it intensified the need for us to express ourselves. There was no more holding back now, no more hesitating what to say.

Zetsu almost caught us when he appeared out of nowhere to inform us that there was a delay in sealing the four-tails and, as Deidara had hoped, we were assigned to catch nine-tails and tasked to slowly track it until it was time to seal it.

"Hah! Guess the sharingan isn't as efficient when it comes to hunting beasts, hm!" My partner boasted as soon as Zetsu left.

"It also took us a few months to find the three-tails..."

"In our defense, we had no idea where it was, hm. The four-tails has a jinchuuriki and he lives where I come from. There's no reason for them to take so long in finding him."

I shrugged. "At least we got assigned to the nine-tails."

"Yeah." He smirked. "I'll finally be able to settle my score with Naruto, hm. And it will take a while before we'll have to seal it so let's search for Sasuke Uchiha in the meantime, hm."

"Okay." I nodded. "I'll help you."

He grinned in acknowledgement and beckoned me to come closer, putting his arm around me.

"Well, since we're not that busy right now, why don't we go on a ride, hm?"

"Where are we going?"

"We'll see." He helped me get up his bird and we soared to the sky to begin our little adventure.

We spent the whole day travelling, sightseeing, visiting tourist spots, exploring an abandoned temple and watching a dreadful play in the evening which bored us out of our minds so we left and shamelessly compensated for our boredom outside the theatre.

If only everyday could be like this, doing whatever and exploring wherever without worrying about any responsibilities or consequences. It was so nice to see all these new places with him and it was as if we were a couple, hell, we probably were a couple already, who knows?

At night, Deidara decided he wanted to go somewhere more relaxing and he flew us into a snowy area, checking into a small lodge with outdoor hot springs, which we immediately sought to try out.

Luckily, we were the only ones air was freezing cold but the water kept us warm, even more so as I snuggled up to him and admired the scenery. Pure snowy white mountains under a brilliant night sky- it was a beautiful sight.

"That was fun." I swooned.

"Yeah..." He kissed my forehead. "Is there anywhere else you want to go?"

"Anywhere is fine. Whether it's a village, a landmark, a place for entertainment, a hiking spot, a ruin of former civilization; it doesn't matter. I'll be able to find inspiration either way. What about you?"

"There were a few places my man Sasori told me about that intrigued me but I'm having second thoughts now. His idea of fun is very different from mine, if he even knew what that concept meant in the first place, hm." He chuckled. "But yeah, I'll be fine anywhere. I was hoping to find more artful places but the ninja world is still too primitive for something like that, hm. No matter, we'll start an art revolution, you and me."

I smiled at him, enjoying the warmth of his body and of the water although my head and neck still suffered from the cold.

"There's one place that I really wanna see." I added. "I want to visit your birthplace."

He raised his brow in surprise but then grinned in amusement.

"Iwagakure, huh… It's been a while, but I guess I'd ought to pay that old fart Onoki a visit after all these years." His hand gently stroked my cheek. "Probably not now since we still need to lay low for the beast hunt but I'll bring you there, hm. I'll take my revenge on Onoki and everyone else there who mocked my art and you'll be able to see it in its last glorious state before I blow it up to the sky even more gloriously!"

"Nothing to sightsee there, I presume?"

"No, the people there are artless and the houses look weird, hm. It reeks of warfare and practicality and, not to mention, rocks."

"Obviously, your village doesn't represent you. I still want to see it, the village who partially made you into who you are today."

"Sadly, that shithole is part of my life."

"Still a better shithole than mine." I kissed him.

"Comparing shitholes is not a very artful thing to do, but I'll gladly help you destroy yours, hm."

"You can if you want to though it wouldn't make much of a difference. The other test subjects probably left long ago to avenge Orochimaru or stayed there and starved to death. It's just a messy husk with crappy memories."

"What about Kabuto? Don't you want to find him too?"

"All in due time. Our trip is more important to me."

He snickered and wrapped his arms around me. We remained in the hot springs for a few more hours before the cold became unbearable and we retreated to our room to sleep.

We felt lazy the following morning, tired from yesterday and it was cold outside so there was nothing we wanted to do but to stay in bed the whole day. There was nothing I would ever trade for this, this feeling of being warm and comfortable with him, knowing we have each other while the world around us was cold and cruel. No value of treasures could compare to the preciousness of these blissful moments.

Eventually we left the lodge after a few days as it wasn't good for us to stay unproductive for too long and we needed to work on our respective crafts somewhere warmer.

I looked down at the songs I've recently written with a frown on my face.

 _A world of blue behind strands of gold_

 _Nothing is better to be young and bold_

 _Let's create our own colors_

 _You know the horizon is ours_

 _Refashion this world anew_

 _No beauty could ever compare to you_

Yuck. What was all this mushy garbage? This was not something I would want him to hear. I've been writing songs like this ever since we started this whole thing, which was pretty embarrassing, but I can't let it make me soft. I need to go back to my old style and come up with something rocking awesome with fury and warcries.

The inspiration was there, it was fun composing the instrumentals and writing the lyrics but as I practiced singing it, I became unsatisfied with how it sounded. Something didn't live up to my standards in this song.

"Beautiful as always, hm. Why'd you stop?" Deidara appeared behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"It's not ready yet, you know."

"It sounds good to me."

"It's not perfect."

"Always striving for perfection. I like that, hm.." He nibbled my ear.

"Hey, no fair! I thought we should not distract each other while we're working on our art."

"But you're taking too long..." A low growl rose from his chest.

I looked down at my work in a predicament, torn between my artistic duties and the seduction of another enchanting artist.

Deidara snickered and ruffled my hair.

"Alright then, but you better finish up soon." He said before he walked away.

I analyzed my work once more. The instrumentals were badass, the lyrics were great, but why am I not happy with this? Then it dawned me: it was my voice. It didn't fit the song. Even when I made it rough, it still didn't sound strong enough. Thinking about it, it would sound better if it were sung by male, someone who is more fierce and convincing, someone like...

I immediately ran after him, ready to pour out all of my ideas.

"Deidara, I have a suggestion! Why don't you perform with me in the future?"

He raised his brow in astoundment.

"You want me to sing with you? I don't think that's a good idea, I'd rather listen than sing myself, hm."

"Well, that among other things. I can always teach you, it won't be a problem. You have a rich and deep voice, I'm sure it will sound enthralling."

"I wouldn't be so sure, hm."

"The thing is, it's gonna be hard for me to play, sing and entertain the audience at the same time. I got the audio but not the visuals. That's where you could come in. You're charming, you're confident, you're eyecandy! While I play, you could amaze the audience with your explosions! It would be a bombastic performance! Both of our crafts will have publicity!

He thought for a while and I was elated that he considered it.

"But what if your music can't be heard over my explosions?"

"We'll time it to the beat of my song and trust me, the beat is going to be crazy. It will be one hell of a collaboration."

He sheepishly smirked.

"Why do you always seduce me with your ideas?"

"Hey, you tried to seduce me earlier in the middle of my work!"

"I can't help it, you look so vulnerable when you're focused on something. But yeah, let's try this collaboration out then, hm."

"Are you for real?"

"Of course I am, how can I say no to such a creative idea?"

I flung my arms around him, excited to combine our art together.

I can only imagine how awesome we would be together, rocking that stage like no one had ever done before. It would be a groundshaking spectacle! It would be loud and wild and we would not hold back from overwhelming the crowd with our artistic prowess.

We came up with different ways on how to perform together, started planning what places we would want to perform.

"It would be hilarious if we performed in Iwagakure but I think they would attempt to kill us before we get to finish our performance, hm."

"Are they really such party poopers?"

"You have no idea, hm. But it will be worth it. I can't wait to see their reactions, hm!"

"I also want to perform in the Hidden Sand Village. I want to perform in every major village."

"We're gonna make a name for ourselves."

We spent time talking scheming more future plans for our travel together like little kids, as if we had any idea what we were really talking about.


	29. Fire and Fire

Anjira had actually taken her time to coach him in singing. It was a weird experience and he was more excited to match his explosions to her beat but she insisted that the singing should be done first so that it would be easier for him to find the rhythm or something like that. He was curious about how people would react to their performance. How would Sasori react were he still alive? He'd probably find it too noisy.

It was the first time he had been so involved with someone else, yet it felt like that's where she was always supposed to be- with him. She was always there, when he went to sleep and when he woke up, she listened to all the thoughts he voiced out but still left him alone when he needed space. She was there to support him, entertain him, please him, ease him and, though he disliked to admit it, put some reason in his head when he became irrational even though Anjira herself can be pretty unreasonable as well. Despite this, everything was such a delight, unlike anything he had ever known before.

Other than that, they spend time exploring new places but made sure to always return to where they were supposed to pick up work, although currently there was not much to do. Deidara knew perfectly well where the nine-tails was and he just needed to wait for the right moment to strike. The Hidden Leaf Village was one place he longed to see with his own eyes and surely, its citizens would yearn to see his art in return.

He loved how his partner's eyes would shine with curiosity and amazement every time she learned something new or discovered a new place. She had become more vocal and expressive lately, which he was more than pleased about. Seeing the happiness in her eyes was something so precious, something that could never be replicated anywhere but that wasn't enough for him.

He wanted to gauge out all of her sides and emotions so he would just push her buttons for no other reason but because she fascinated him. The one thing that always made her mad was when he went through her song book because it was 'private' and full of songs she hadn't completed yet, which may be true but it was obvious to him that these unreleased songs were also a diary to her and reflected her various emotions, veiled in metaphors.

"Can you please leave that alone!"

" ' _No beauty could ever compare to you?_ ' So cliché! This isn't about me, is it?" He taunted her, holding the song book away.

"Just give it back already!"

"Is this about me or no?"

"No!"

"Then who is it about if it's not me, hm!"

"It's about no one, so give it back!"

"Really? You write all these romantic songs and you're telling me they're not about anyone?!"

He could tell she was getting really annoyed. She was actually very patient, even more patient than he was, he had to admit, and there were not many things that aggravated her relaxed nature, but he loved it when she was mad. She looked like she really wanted to strangle him but she couldn't do it and that thrilled him. With her lips pursed and her eyes giving out sparks of anger, she looked so hot! Fire was burning in her eyes and he wanted to feed the flames more until they burn him and afterwards making up would be all the more delicious. Unless she would say something in anger that would hurt his pride, then it would take longer to make up but she was usually careful with her words.

"What is your problem anyway?! I thought we're supposed to respect each other's art!"

"How can I respect something that was inspired by another man!"

"I already told you it's not about anyone!"

"You know what I hate the most about you? That you always lie to me, hm!"

"If you hate me so damn much, why are you still sleeping with me?!" She protested and turned away.

Whenever she had enough, she would leave and vent out her anger through writing and playing songs until she felt better, but Deidara wouldn't let her this time. He wanted her to vent it out on him so he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"You're not walking away without answering me first, hm!"

"It's about Kakuzu! There, you happy?"

He ripped the page of the song from the notebook and summoned Zetsu.

"Zetsu, I want you to give this to Kakuzu, it's a document regarding Anjira's debt." He folded the paper.

"Why are you sending me on errands?"

"Deidara, what the hell!" Anjira groaned..

"Well, it is concerning the Akatsuki funds, hm. Don't open it though, it's confidential."

"Fine." With that, Zetsu disappeared, making Anjira furious.

"Did you seriously just sent my love song to Kakuzu?!"

"Well you did say it was for him, hm."

"Are you fucking kidding me? He's gonna expect it's really about my debt and he's gonna kill me!"

"At least he's going to recognize your talent, hm."

"I was joking! Do you understand what a joke is?"

"Do you think my feelings are a joke?"

The fire in her eyes was about to burst and it turned him on. Probably might take a while before he could earn her forgiveness but it would be so worth it. It was fun to mess with her and test how far he could get away with it, although probably not so far that she would release her cursed seal form. It was terrifying the one time she did and he was anything but looking forward to another decapitation. Maybe he just wanted to test her patience up to that point but no further. Sometimes, however, he would pick a fight with her just because he was feeling moody and he wanted to vent it out on her and couldn't care less about overstepping any limits. At least not yet.

He had also tried to make her sad and it was an interesting experience.

"Have you thought about what would happen to us in the future?" He had asked her.

"A little but not that far. I'm more focused on enjoying the moment."

"That's how it's supposed to be. Let's just enjoy, hm. Who knows, we might eventually get bored of each other."

"Would you get bored of me?"

"Maybe."

She didn't say anything but he could tell she was hurt and scared. Her eyes refused to meet his and she eventually excused herself to work on a new song.

When Deidara took a look at it later, the song was beautifully written with woeful words, expressing her insecurity of not being unwanted by the man she loved. She wrote the most soul-stirring songs when she was sad, it almost brought one to tears. What a poor creature, he thought, and chuckled. After that it was all about making her happy again because what fun was life without a storm?

"Hey, would you stop looking through my song book!"

He had yet to see her cry. Did he even want to? Perhaps one of these days he might be able to witness it and hope the guilt won't comsume him too much.

It was another sunny day and the duo rested under a tree.

"There was something I wanted to try with you. It may sound ridiculous, so don't laugh at me, hm."

"What is it?"

"I wanna try doing it with you in your cursed seal form, hm."

"What the heck!" She laughed. "You're more messed up than I thought!"

"I just want to tame the beast in you. You honestly scare me in that form so I sort of want to overcome that fear, hm."

"Trust me, I'm just as scared of myself in that form as you are."

"Then we could try to conquer that fear together…"

"I'm not proud of it, Deidara. I barely even feel human when I transform." She wore a despondent expression. "I swore to myself back then that I would reject whatever Orochimaru would inject into me because I wanted to be a self-made artist, independent of any foreign support, but here I am, still relying on my curse seal."

"But it saved your life, didn't it?"

"Lots of times. I'm at the mercy of this abomination. Well, it literally is a curse."

"Cursed or not, it doesn't change the potential you have as an artist, hm."

She flashed him a sweet smile that made him want to kiss her but he felt that somebody was watching them. He turned to see Zetsu.

"Rather close, we see…" White Zetsu commented.

"Not as close you two. What's up?"

"The four-tails is ready for sealing." Black Zetsu informed.

"About damn time! We'll be there, hm."

Zetsu nodded and disappeared.

"Looks like Itachi finally got it together." He flipped his hair back. "And also, Zetsu seems suspicious of our interactions."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I don't know, hm. I don't remember being given such a rule. We can do whatever we want as long as we complete our missions and don't reveal information about the organization so it shouldn't matter, right?"

"I would hope so."

"We did complete our mission after all but there still might be a risk of us being separated as partners to avoid being 'too distracted' from doing our job. I think it's best we don't let anyone know about what we've been doing."

"Alright." She smiled. "It will be our dirty little secret."

He grinned and kissed her before securing a safe spot to start sealing the four-tails.

As soon as the two channeled their chakra to the Gedo statue, Kakuzu immediately grunted at Anjira.

"Are you trying to piss me off? Do you think being the treasurer is a joke?"

"That was Deidara's doing!"

"But she wrote it for you, Kakuzu, hm."

"I don't care about your intentions. Pull another trick on me and I'll sell your organs for a much higher price than your surgery was worth!"

"Enough now, settle your financial disputes after sealing the four tails. We are way behind schedule." Pain interrupted.

The sealing process, as usual, took three days and three nights. The blonde knew the Jinchuuriki as he had seen him many years ago back in the village but he felt no remorse.

"The six-tails will follow after. Kakuzu, Hidan, I'm counting on you."

"The Jinchuuriki went rogue from the Hidden Mist but it would only be a matter of time before we find him. We also killed one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja and received a bounty of 30 million ryo."

"In a stinky restroom of all places…" Hidan grumbled.

"Well done, Kakuzu. Before you all leave, there is something you need to know." Pain's figure faced Itachi. "We've received word that Sasuke Uchiha has been gathering followers to track the Akatsuki. They are most likely targeting you. You may know one of them, Kisame. He is one of the Hozuki brothers."

"Oh, you mean Suigetsu! That brings back memories, heheh…"

"Another one is Bipolar Jugo."

This discussion piqued Deidara's interest.

"Kisame, what is this Suigestu like?"

"That kid had such a cute smile. He's a child prodigy who has been called the reincarnation of the demonic Zabuza."

"Hoh… Interesting, hm. Do you know him, Anjira?"

"I've heard of him but never personally met him. From what I heard, he can transform into liquid at will. I also know Jugo, his DNA is the origin of all the curse seals. It was his fluids Orochimau injected us with to give us a copy of his ability."

"I see…"

"Either way, you should all stay on guard. While Itachi and Kisame are their most probable targets, they may come after the Akatuski to find information about their whereabouts. Do not let them interfere with our operations." Pain added.

This could be Deidara's chance.

"Leader, since we were assigned to the nine-tails which is the last beast to be sealed, Anjiira and I could utilize the time to track down Sasuke Uchiha and get rid of him to prevent him from jeopardizing the Akatsuki's mission."

"Fine with me. He was last seen south of the Land of Sound, if you must know. You are all dismissed now."

Deidara flashed Itachi an evil grin before ending the Jutsu and finding himself back with Anjira.

"Well, you've heard the news, hm. We finally got a lead on Sasuke's whereabouts."

"I'm surprised Sasuke is capable of making friends but whatever. Let's go."

"Yeah."

Everything was going just according to plan.


	30. Disclosure

Despite the lead we got on Sasuke Uchiha, we were not able to find him and have since been relocating everyday to cover more ground. Roughly two months had passed and the progress of the Akatsuki was much slower than expected with Kakuzu and Hidan having a hard time tracking down the Jinchuuriki of the six-tails.

The lack of progress in finding Sasuke had aggravated Deidara and sometimes he would angrily rant about it for hours before returning to his usual self. To make matters worse I've started feeling sick lately. It was nothing serious I suppose, but it wouldn't go away which was quite annoying. At least Deidara didn't seem to be affected by it. Those two things aside, I was relatively happy even though Deidara could be such a jerk sometimes.

As of now, we were looking around in a small town near a port. Information was not an easy find in the ninja world.

"I know it would be helpful to hire spies but it would feel more rewarding if I found him myself, hm..." Deidara absent-mindedly muttered.

We split for the search, the blonde would look around downtown while I checked the port. It was highly unlikely for Sasuke and his merry group to travel by sea but one could never be too sure.

"Hey cutie, wanna drink in the cabin with us?" Two sailors who were evidently drunk invited me.

Perhaps they would know something and if they're drunk that only meant they would talk more easily.

"Alright."

Before I could even follow them inside the ship, my partner suddenly appeared behind me and pulled me by the arm.

"What's the big idea?!" He barked.

"They might know something and it's easier to get information out of someone who is drunk. And I wasn't planning to drink. Honest."

"Just look at those guys! They just want to take you away and get in your pants, hm!"

"Then I'll kill them and swim back here. I don't see the problem."

"Cause you're dense, that's why! No sane person, especially a girl, would go alone with a bunch of drunken sailors on their ship! Do you have any idea what they might do to you, hm?!"

"Do you really think I'm that defenseless? I was also recruited into the Akatsuki, may I remind you."

Just as I said this, the familiar dizziness and nausea plagued me again.

"See? You're still sick and you're putting yourself in dangerous situations!" He scolded me some more but I felt too sick to listen.

"There's a clinic around that corner. Have yourself checked while I take care of this for you, hm." He commanded and entered the ship.

I decided to follow the directions he gave me to the clinic, though as soon as I started walking I heard an explosion from inside the ship. Not loud enough to alarm the citizens in this town but enough to give me an idea as to what was going on inside. I shrugged and went on my way.

I yawned and sat back as I waited for the doctor to give me the results. Surely, I was not seriously ill because I just had my surgery a few months ago and if there was something wrong with me, they should have seen it. Maybe it's the flu or something which would be weird since I've never been sick my entire life. The doctor would prescribe me some medicine and I would be fine, problem solved. At least that's what I thought was up.

She finally finished up and spoke to me. "You are experiencing these symptoms due to pregnancy. You're currently in your second month."

The world stopped.

"... What?"

I couldn't believe what I just heard.

"A-are you saying… that I am _pregnant_?"

"Precisely."

"No way! Are you sure it's not something else?!" I raised my voice.

She went on proving to me the results of my urine and blood samples but I couldn't hear it anymore. How could this happen? Me, a mother?!

How was I supposed to raise a child? What would happen to me? What would happen to my career as a musician? How would Deidara react to it, above all things? He said before he didn't want to be chained down and now I'm having his kid! Will he abandon me so he won't feel chained down?

What about all those plans we made about travelling together? About becoming the greatest artists and performing together? Those would be impossible with a baby!

What about the Akatsuki? What will the others say? Will Pain kick me out or worse?

I was in panic. I could hear her voice among others, all rapidly talking so I couldn't understand anything. I don't understand anything. Nothing made sense! I was such an idiot to think we could live in a world without consequences! Well, consequences do exist and they hit hard!

I was not ready to be a mother! How can I take care of a child when I don't even know how to take care of myself? I had no house and relied on our allowance given by the Akatsuki. If they kick me out, I would have nothing. And if Deidara left me too...

I had to get out of this room and as soon as I reached the door frame I froze. I could see Deidara sitting in the waiting room. He hasn't noticed me yet and I was afraid he would ask the doctor and she'll tell him the truth… I can't let him know.

I turned back to the doctor's room and killed her and her assistant, however, they screamed before I took them down, which alerted Deidara.

"What's going on?" He asked after he rushed inside and eyed the dying bodies.

I bit my lip, frustrated at myself for not having been able to take care of this quietly.

"They asked me too many questions so I got rid of them just to be safe. We don't want to leave any trails behind."

"Well, if Sasuke comes by here, it would be better if we left something behind so he could track us. I just wanna find him already, hm."

"So, how did it go by the port?"

"I blew them up for trying to drink with you, hm." He rubbed his hands. "Anyway, what did the doctor say?"

"Oh, um… I-it's just the flu. Just gotta drink a lot of vitamins and I'll be fine." I tried to appear as calm as possible. He stared at me for a moment, not looking entirely convinced.

"Anyway, let's keep looking for Sasuke." I gave my best smile and led him out.

Maybe, just maybe, the doctor made a mistake in diagnosing me. Maybe it will just go away if I ignore it long enough.

Later that evening as we lay in bed, Deidara was his usual talkative self and I tried my hardest to keep my composure. It just wouldn't leave my thoughts and I knew I would never find some peace of mind knowing that he would react negatively for sure if I told him. I needed to probe him somehow to find out how bad it would be without being too obvious.

"Say..."

"Hm?"

"How would you react if you got one of your previous hookups pregnant?"

"Hell no! I wouldn't let that happen, hm!"

Somehow he did let it happen to me.

"But what if it happened and the girl wanted you to help raise the kid?"

"I don't think I can do that. First, I'm a member of the Akatsuki so I can't just abandon my missions like that, and second… I have you, hm."

I smiled at him even though I didn't feel any better. It sounded like he wouldn't want to have anything to do with his child.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"Oh, nothing, was just thinking about how awkward it would be if we ever came across your mini-you."

"That's not something you need to worry about. I don't want a kid; it would only hinder me from accomplishing my ambitions as an artist and I've let it stay that way, hm."

There I had my answer. But what was I going to do about it?

"And also the reason why you didn't want to be with anybody…" I added.

"But you're an exception. You give me a sense of freedom, hm."

I held my breath. Any other time, this statement would have overjoyed me but right now those words stung because I know what he said will no longer hold truth as soon as he finds out.

"What's up with you? You're so gloomy today, hm."

"Just… thinking about the future. That's all."

"That's so not like you." He came closer. "Just enjoy the moment, hm. Life is too short to worry about the future."

Do now, worry later, huh? That line of thinking became the end of me. We were a terrible match: irresponsible, incautious, impetuous and immature like two idiotic teenagers. Too passionate for our own good. We should have never been paired.

Perhaps I should just disappear until I give birth and leave the child in a village where he or she can be safe and go back…. But seven months is a long time. A lot will have changed by then and I don't think he would forgive me for simply vanishing like that and hiding from him the fact that I have been carrying his child. He might even find someone else during that period. It would also be possible for the Akatsuki to brand me as a traitor.

Everything just felt worse as Deidara excitedly spoke of the plans we've made, plans that now are never to happen. It killed me to see the enthusiastic sparkle in his eye that will soon be vanquished by the horror of a new reality. A reality he never wanted, but still partly at fault for creating.

"I just can't wait to be done with the beast hunt so we can do whatever we want. I'll take you to my village, just you wait, hm. The terror in their eyes when they become so overwhelmed with our art combined-"

And I couldn't take it anymore. I could no longer hear about us traveling, sightseeing, performing because it was all never meant to be! The fear of breaking it to him, it hurt so bad!

"It's not gonna happen!" I finally snapped.

No, why did I lose it? Why did I say that? Why couldn't I hold back?

"What do you mean?" His excitement turned into shock and I knew that was the last time I would ever see him upbeat.

He stared at me in anticipation but I couldn't say anything.

His expression darkened.

"Something is wrong with you, isn't there?"

I gulped. Did he figure it out?

"You didn't kill the doctor because you were suspicious, you killed her because you're suffering from something serious and you don't want me to find out, hm!"

I looked from him to the floor, unsure how to explain myself. He got it all wrong but he was onto me. How long could I hide it from him?

"It's not like that…"

"Then what is it?!"

I opened my mouth but I couldn't say it. Those two words, I can't, I just can't.

"You're dying, aren't you? You did this to me before and now you're doing it again, hm! Do you hate me that much?!"

I love him, I wanted to say. So much that I couldn't bring myself to tell the truth out of fear that he would abandon me.

"I gave you my kidney so you could survive, for fuck's sake! Aren't you even the least bit thankful for that?"

"I am-"

"Then why do hide your illnesses from me?!"

"I'm not dying!"

He clenched his teeth.

"I really hate it when you look me in the eye and lie to me, hm! I've known you long enough to know when you're hiding something and you're a terrible liar." His eye burned with fury.

He got up and dressed himself.

"You have five seconds." He told me. "If you don't tell me what's wrong, I'm gonna fly away and you'll never see me again, hm!"

Despair clenched me. I was losing him either way.

"You're dying anyway so what's the point of sticking around, hm…" He grumbled and turned to leave.

Those two words. Those two damned words.

"I'm pregnant."

"Wh-"

He halted and turned to me, all of his anger had instantly disappeared and for the first time I saw an emotion in him that I've never seen before: Fear. Raw fear and utter shock. I've never seen him scared before.

He just stood there and stared at me, almost looking like a statue or someone permanently petrified, rendered speechless.

This was it. Whatever we had, it wouldn't be the same anymore and most likely everything had now changed for the worse.

"But-" He managed to make a sound but was unable to come up with anything else to say.

My head felt so I light and I couldn't breathe from the tension. I just wanted this to be a bad dream and wake up as soon as possible.

"I- is it mine?"

What a stupid question.

"Who else?!"

"But… I- our plans… The Akatsuki… No…" He couldn't even speak properly anymore so he simply stormed out of our room and never returned.

I let myself fall to the floor, beginning to sob uncontrollably. It was all hopeless!

"Shit…"


	31. Short Love

It's been about three weeks since Deidara walked out on Anjira. He tried to put all of his attention into his art but it was hard to focus with everything that was going on, and not to mention he was not used to the silence.

"Beauty is found in destruction, hm..."

He just talked to himself. It was so strange not hearing Anjira anymore, her voice and her songs, to wake up and find that he was alone. Back to what he did before. It had only been three weeks but it feels like he hadn't spoken to her in forever, and as much as he yearned to talk to her again, he could not, for the love of him, face her knowing she was pregnant with his child! Just what was he going to do about that?!

He loved danger and living on the edge, he was never afraid of dying or getting caught in his own explosions but never in his entire had he ever been so afraid as that night when she confessed that she was carrying his child. Him? A parent? How could that happen? A family was the very least of his priorities!

What would the Akatsuki say about this whole ordeal where they to find out? What would they say about the youngest members having a child? Would Itachi look down on him again? What about their leader? Would he punish them? Kill them even? So many thoughts in his head, he just wanted to blow himself up! At least Sasori was no longer here, or else he would get an endless lecture of how unprofessional it was to fornicate with your working partner.

There was no way he could let any of them find out about the pregnancy. He had to hide Anjira away somehow, especially from Zetsu since he would be the first one to notice once her belly would become big.

That would mean he would have to come up with a plan and face her soon. Oh boy, he was so not ready to do that.

Anjira was pissed at him for leaving like that, he was sure, but he needed time for himself to deal with the shock. Even until now, the reality wouldn't fully sink in.

He remembered that time she was dying and he had the choice to save her or let her die. All he wanted was just someone to talk to, to understand, be around someone who knew how to live in the moment so he saved her. He thought he could be contented with just talking to her. But he got greedy. Talking to her wasn't enough after all, he wanted more and more from her and now he had gotten her pregnant, unable to hold back. He had fallen in love with her much earlier than he would like to admit.

It was easier to think that maybe Anjira went around his back and got knocked up by somebody else, just to lessen his guilt.

As if things couldn't get any worse, Zetsu suddenly appeared.

"Where's Anjira?" He asked, looking around.

The blonde held his breath but didn't give anything away.

"She'll be back. Why?"

"The six-tails is ready to be sealed."

"Alright, we'll be there, hm."

With that, Zetsu disappeared, allowing Deidara to release his breath. Guess he had to face her now, but before that he had to find out where she was.

As he flew around searching for her, he spotted an abandoned house which seemed like a safe place for them to do the sealing and could also serve as a place where Anjira could rest during her pregnancy.

He spotted her later by the outskirts of the port town and flew down to her. She must have stayed close so she could easily buy food and other necessities. A gut-wrenching feeling washed over him as he thought of her seeing one of the sailors while he was away.

He slowly approached her, his heart pumping hard in his chest. She was furiously writing down her notebook, probably writing about how much of an asshole he was. If she noticed him, she didn't show it.

He tried not to frown as he noticed that she lost weight again after she had so greatly recovered from her surgery. Who knows what would happen to her if he wasn't around? Would she starve to death? She was so easy to lose. He hated that she stopped taking care of herself and made him even more guilty. Didn't she know that the guilt of getting her pregnant was already killing him? Did she have to add more?

There was just something about her self-destructiveness that frustrated and enchanted him at the same time. It wasn't bold and ephemeral like his art, it was silent and invisible, eating her up inside, and could end her at any given moment. There was just something artistic about it and yet he wanted to prevent that.

He cleared his throat, trying hard not to let her hear the perturbation in his voice.

"We have to seal the six tails, hm." That came out colder than he intended it to be.

She shut her notebook and followed him, her eyes refusing to meet his. He wordlessly prepared the abandoned house so they could join the meeting.

Anjira was very quiet during the sealing and only answered when spoken to. Not that she was talkative to begin with but those who were observative could tell something was wrong with her and unfortunately, Hidan had to be one of them.

"Hoi Deidara, what did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything, hm!"

"We all know you're a dick."

"That's rich coming from you, hm."

He was so glad when it was finally over. Anjira immediately ran to the bathroom. She must have been holding her pee or vomit for three days… How was she holding up anyway? He wanted to ask her but somehow the words just wouldn't come out. He had to address this one way or another. Why was it so difficult?

He took a deep breath.

"Listen…We can't let anyone know about your pregnancy."

"Of course. Keeping it a secret is the prime concern." She answered coldly with hateful sarcasm which irritated him.

"Well, what do you want? For them to find out and punish us?"

She grimaced and turned away. This was not going to be easy, was it?

"In the meantime, you should stay here. I will bring you food every now and then, hm." He created a clay clone of himself.

"Seriously? A clone?" She scoffed. "What am I gonna do with this? Fuck it?"

"Come on." He snarled at her. "I can't watch over you and complete our missions at the same time, hm. "

"So, this is how it's gonna be? You'll hide me away like I'm some shameful secret?"

He was getting seriously annoyed now. What did she want from him?

"What do you expect from me? Proudly declare that I have a family? Is that what you want me to do? Because surely you know me better than that, hm!"

"I wanted you to help me figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do!"

"What do you think I am doing right now?"

"What you did is leave me for three weeks and the moment you come back all you care about is protecting your reputation!"

"You're calling me selfish now, hm? Do you even know how much of a pain in the ass it's gonna be for me to hide you, check on you and do our missions at the same time!?"

"Do you think I wanted all of this to happen?! If you knew how to pull out we wouldn't even be in this situation in the first place!"

His blood really started to boil now.

"Look at you, all you do is play the blame game! I'm the one trying to find a solution to this mess and protect you but you're just being useless, hm!"

"I don't need your damn protection! Shove it up your ass!"

"Fine! Be on your own! Like I care about you and that spawn you're carrying!"

He left the house and slammed the door behind him. He stopped giving a shit. This was all a mistake. All of it. He should have just let her die back then.

A couple more weeks passed but he still couldn't get used to the silence or sleep properly. This whole thing was stressing him out, no matter how much he tried not to think about it. It was hard to believe how badly they fought last time when just a month ago, they were crazy about each other. He couldn't believe he called his own child a 'spawn', if it was really his to begin with.

He was mad that she handled it so immaturely but he shouldn't have expected otherwise. She was still young, and probably just as scared about the pregnancy as he was. Maybe it was also the hormones making her act irrational. He would give her one more chance but this time, he expected her to apologize, as she wouldn't be getting anything from him.

He traveled to the abandoned house just to find it empty, so he looked around for any clues until he came across a letter hidden under the pillow. From Anjira, without a doubt.

 _Deidara,_

 _I apologize for the things the things I said last time we saw each other. I know I am just as equally responsible for the circumstances we found ourselves in. I'm letting you know that you will no longer need to worry about the Akatsuki finding out as I am leaving for a village to start a new life and raise our child. I will be getting rid of any other trails that may link me to you. You can tell the Akatsuki that I betrayed them or I died; it's up to you._

 _Goodbye,_

 _Anjira_

That was it? No mention as to which village that was or any form of closure? She was just going to run away like that?

She wasn't even in the bingo book and yet bounty hunters still attacked her that time she was drunk, just to see what money they could squeeze out of her. How much more now that she was pregnant? She wouldn't be able to defend herself! Stupid Anjira… she did not think this through.

She was damned, the mark of Orochimaru was sealed on her and if anyone found out, what would they do to her? Even much worse, what if they find somehow found out she used to be a member of the Akatsuki? It would even put the child in danger.

He inspected the letter and found another letter inside with a more complex seal. He attempted to unseal it but failed. Why did she make it so complicated?

It took him a few hours to finally find the right hand combinations to unseal the letter.

 _I love you, more than you can made me see things I never saw before, gave me happiness I never felt before, and made me believe in myself like no one else ever had. It pains me that it has come down to this. You were always right. Beautiful things don't last. Like you said, it is better to destroy something and keep it beautiful in your memories than to hold on to something that doesn't last. I hope you will cherish our artistic moments in your memory as much I will and for the sake of both of us, let's hope we never cross paths again. I wish you the best. Keep thriving as an artist._

 _Thank you._

He stared at the letter for a long time. Was it really over between them? Were they going to sever whatever they had because it couldn't be beautiful anymore?

Indeed, they had been beautiful. Two artists having found love in this wretched world. He also felt happiness with her that he never found somewhere else. A sense of comfort he could never replicate. He'll miss their adventures… Although there were a lot more places he wanted to show her. He had also promised her to bring her to the Hidden Stone… But if everything would just end up in having children and more fights then it was perhaps for the best to just break it off.

The love of his short life. That had a nice ring to it.

However, just because it ended didn't mean he had no interest in meeting his child. He was curious to find out whether it would be a boy or a girl, and if he or she took after their art or would practice a different form. But maybe it's for the better if he didn't see them. It would only tie them to the Akatsuki and put his kid in danger. Hopefully they'll be fine on their own.

He exited the house and looked up to the sky.

What did he really want? The person or the memories?


	32. Confrontation

I don't know what it was that made him return all the time. It would take a while but he always found me. It was also partially my fault as I never bothered to take a more discreet route, and I always looked up to the sky, hoping to see him on his giant white bird. A dangerous thing to hope for, because perhaps one day he might ultimately stop seeking me out and I knew that would hurt more than I wanted to imagine.

I asked him if he read my letters, and he said that he read both of them so why was he still here? He told me before that it was better to remember something as beautiful but I wondered now if he still believed in that.

The first few months were hard. Aside from the discomfort caused by the pregnancy, we fought quite often. Lots of threats were made, insults were hurled at each other, a lake of tears I shed and countless times have I watched him get on his bird and fly away into the horizon, hearing him say he'll never come back. Yet, he always did.

It was around my fifth month when the tension finally died down. He started asking if I already came up with any names and who do I think would the child take after. I secretly dreamed of us being a family but I always brushed it aside, expecting to him chicken out eventually.

We initially agreed that I would still be helping out during missions but Deidara forbid me to to participate in any combat. It was easy to conceal my belly under the lofty Akatsuki cloak so Zetsu would not get any hints but upon reaching my sixth month, it became difficult to travel so Deidara brought me to a safe place where I could stay until giving birth.

I was left in a small remote neighborhood of farmers among wide rice were a nice folk, allowing me to live with them without any background checks and even giving me my own room. Not that I could pose as any threat being heavily pregnant. Deidara wanted to make sure I wouldn't be linked to the Akatsuki while staying here so he would only visit me sometimes late at night, when everyone else was asleep, and be gone before dawn.

I was feeling quite lonely without him and the lifestyle of these farmers drove me insane. They woke up early every morning, ate their meals at the same time and went to sleep a bit after sunset and stuck to that routine everyday. I don't understand how anyone can live their life knowing each day will be the same. Well, at least they didn't make me work and gave me fresh vegetables everyday. Basically, I was just a freeloader and had to endure their ways until my baby was born.

A lot has happened in the past few months and the one that struck me the most was that Hidan and Kakuzu had perished, despite their immortality. The guardian they had sold to the bounty office had been a good friend of a Jonin from the Hidden Leaf Village, who they also killed, which resulted to the Jonin's pupil seeking revenge. With the help of Naruto and Kakashi, they succeeded.

"I always told Hidan to be wary of Naruto but he never listened, hm!" Deidara complained to me.

Kakuzu had really died while Hidan was immobilized in an unknown area. It was really a shame, I thought. As dubious as they were, I still think of them as interesting individuals and valuable comrades. I remember that night we shared the same room and went out together. It was so much fun. I wish we could have done something like that again.

I made small memorials for both of them, leaving a bloody tissue I used when I had a nosebleed on Hidan's and five ryo on Kakuzu's. I frowned, recalling I never paid off my debt. Well, this is the most I can offer right now. I paid my respects and bowed before going back to the plantations. Unless someone knows Hidan and Kakuzu really well, I doubt anyone would know what these two items symbolize. There is a high chance, however, that someone will steal those five ryo.

Kisame and Itachi had almost caught the eight tails but he somehow escaped which alerted the other nations about the Akatsuki, meaning we could no longer move as freely as we used to, which made our progress slower than ever.

I was already in my seventh month and my belly was becoming big. I could sometimes feel my baby kicking, especially when I played music, though I wasn't sure whether it reacted that way because it likes the music or found it too noisy. For obvious reasons, I had to mellow down my style and I sincerely hoped my baby was fond of my music. He or she didn't have to be a musician but it would be nice if they had an ear for it.

Deidara was sure that our baby would be an artist but it didn't matter to me as long as it came out healthy and wouldn't have voices in their head like me.

"You know, baby, there are a lot of things that will drive you mad but you must never forget who you really are." Sometimes I felt so lonely I would talk to my belly, spout out whatever nonsense came to my mind. "We're all gifted at something and I'm sure you have lots of gifts already even though you're still a fetus. Use them and live for your passion. Seize fame if that's what you wish. But don't let it get to your head, don't drink or overly indulge yourself; trust me, I'm speaking from experience."

 _Shut up, you will never be a great mother._

I frowned. Would that be true?

Seven months passed just like that. It felt just like yesterday when I confessed it to Deidara and now I was so close to meeting my child. That didn't mean I wasn't nervous. In fact, I was beyond anxious, still heavily doubting I could be a good mother, just like _she_ said.

I woke up one morning from a strange dream about Kimimaro telling me that I have strayed from the path and that the universe will find a way to punish me or something, as if it already hadn't done that. Well, it wasn't morning anymore, it was already noon and everyone else was up and working hard so I got out of bed, fixed myself, and rushed outside to show everyone I wasn't just sleeping the whole day. But hey, I'm pregnant; I have an excuse.

Not long after walking around a bit, I spotted some figures walking, and I froze. Heading towards the plantations were four figures and one of them was Sasuke Uchiha, the one we've been searching for all this time. Deidara wasn't here, so what was I going to do? I could follow them and inform Deidara where they went but that would be risky and I could put my child in danger in case I were to get caught.

Why were they here anyways? Were they going to buy vegetables? Or did they see the memorials I left nearby and somehow established a link to the Akatsuki? But those items don't give away any kind of information!

Maybe they were just passing through here. I quickly moved to one of the carts stacked with cabbages, pretending to count them. I hoped Sasuke wouldn't remember me and I could somehow come up with a way to contact Deidara.

They eventually stopped by one of the farmers to buy something. Good, looks like they were just going to buy vegetables but I didn't let my guard down yet and held on to the cabbages. The tall guy with orange hair was Jugo, the guy with the sword and white hair must be Suigetsu and that redhead had to be their sensor type. As they passed me I could feel someone looking at me, but I focused on the cabbages, my heart pumping wildly in my chest. Please don't recognize me, please don't recognize me…

And he did! Sasuke himself walked over to me, with the same onyx hair and eyes, wearing that same blank expression that pissed almost everybody off.

"You..."

"Hmm?"

He stared at me for several more seconds before speaking up again.

"I know you."

"You do?" I answered coyly. Seems like he was still the same brat he was back then, only taller.

"You were with Orochimaru before."

I held my breath. This all high and mighty wretch remembered me, should I be honored?

"You're Anjira, right?" Jugo approached me. "Kimimaro has told me a lot of good things about you."

"Has he now..." I smiled awkwardly. What sort of things did Kimimaro tell him, I wondered? I didn't expect Jugo to recognize me. Maybe that's why I had that weird dream.

" _That_ is Anjira?" Suigetsu cried out, looking stuped. "Why are you pregnant?"

"Suigetsu! You can't just ask someone why they're pregnant!" The redhead hit him, only to get her hand splashed wet.

"Relax, Karin, it's just an honest question. You'll never impress Sasuke with that kind of temper."

"Wha- What are you talking about, I don't even like him!" A deep red shade washed over Karin's face.

"Right… Anyway.." He gave me a sheepish smirk. "I heard you killed a dozen curse seal test subjects barehanded!"

"Yeah… Good times..." I cringed inside. It was uncomfortable to know that people had been talking about me back then.

"The curse seal makes you strong but it is still a copy of me." Jugo chimed in.

"Heh." Suigetsu gave me a toothy grin. "I've wanted to fight you, but I guess that's not gonna happen anytime soon." He frowned and glanced at my stomach.

"Why are you here?" Sasuke asked me.

"I came here to start a family." I said confidently, which should be the obvious answer.

Suigetsu cocked his head.

"Why though? I mean you had a promising future, why start a family so soon?"

"It just happened..." I avoided eye contact, feeling embarrassed.

"Where is the father?"

"He's not here. We're not together anymore." Everyone, except Sasuke, looked flabbergasted, but Karin even more so as if she could picture herself in my situation and wouldn't know how to handle it.

"Well, how about you? Why are you here?" It was my turn to ask questions. How dare they interrogate a pregnant woman!

"We're looking for someone..." Sasuke's eyes trailed over the rice terraces.

I raised my brow, although I knew exactly who that person was.

"His name is Itachi Uchiha."

"What does he look like?" I feigned unawareness.

"... He is related to me."

"I don't think I've seen anyone here who looks similar to you."

"Uhh, I don't think Itachi would be hiding here among some farmers." Suigetsu mumbled. "Unless he really enjoys farming…. Does he?"

"Tch. How should I know?" A hint of anger sparked in Sasuke's eyes before he turned away.

I was contemplating whether I should make them go away or stall them from leaving in case Deidara gets here. But I have no idea when he might drop by here again…

"Yo, Sasuke, maybe we could stay here for a night? The next village is kinda far from here and I'm thirsty again... " Suigetsu suggested.

"Again?!"

"... Do what you want." Sasuke grunted.

"Can we stay with you, Anjira?" Jugo inquired.

"Technically, it's not my house so you'll have to ask permission from the owner." I lead them to the owners of the house whose room I was staying in. They decided to stick around but would one night be enough time for Deidara to catch up? Where was he anyway? Was he with someone else? I'm going to kill him when he gets back.

The farmers allowed Sasuke and his team to stay without any background checks or even caring that Suigetsu was carrying a humongous sword, the one that belonged to the demon Zabuza no less. Maybe it was common for them to have Shinobi visitors.

It worried me more that I had left my Akatsuki cloak in my bag. I hoped they weren't too nosy to look through my stuff and find out I have connections to the Akatsuki. They would interrogate me for sure, Sasuke might even use his Sharingan on me and that was not something I wanted to go through with my pregnancy.

We ate dinner together but all I could really think about was Deidara returning here and be able to take his revenge on Sasuke. I felt so defenseless right now, especially when they tried to ask me about the mysterious father of my child. I was very reserved in my answers and had a feeling they're starting to become suspicious of me.

Jugo kept being respectful towards me but that was probably only because Kimimaro told him things about me, what they were I didn't dare to ask. Let bygones be bygones, I don't want to keep thinking of the past when I'm scared of the future.

Suigetsu was funny and I could see why Kisame had shown fondness towards him.

I have no idea what possible motive Suigetsu could have that made him follow Sasuke. He constantly got on Karin's nerves, while Sasuke remained as indifferent as always. I reckon the only reason why Jugo was loyal to him was because he believes that Sasuke was the reincarnation of Kimimaro, which was a ridiculous thought.

Later that evening, I shared my room with Karin while the boys shared a different room. I found her quite annoying, with all that tough act and complaining when she was trying to deny the obvious.

"I don't get why they won't let me sleep in their room just because I'm a girl! I mean it's not a big deal! And it's not like I want to sleep beside him..." She blushed. "I'd prefer if Suigetsu and Jugo would sleep here and I could be in the room alone with Sasuke!" She whispered although I could still hear her. I decided not to address her little fantasies.

"Anyway…" She faced me. "It must be pretty tough having a child after you break up with your boyfriend."

"Shit happens..."

"He must have been real a jerk then! Just like Suigetsu! His personality and chakra are both gross." She spat out.

"Well, yeah… He can be a jerk." That was true but I have to admit I would have never made it this far without him. As much as he's a jerk, he still looked out for me, always made sure I was safe and had enough to eat.

"Then why did you give yourself to him if you know he's a jerk?"

"Love makes you stupid."

"But that's a bit extreme, don't you think?"

"Are you here to rest or to judge me?" I snarled. She was getting under my skin.

"Ugh, I'm sorry for asking! The only reason I'm talking to you is because Jugo told me to, saying you might be lonely or something. " She snapped and rolled her eyes. "Why do I have to share my room with someone like her? I could have been with Sasuke instead..."

I wanted to argue with her but I was afraid I might say something out of anger that may reveal some information.I pulled my pillow over my head, annoyed by her murmuring. Girls like her were shallow for liking a guy solely for his looks. Sasuke did look good, but what else was there? No flair, no passion, no charisma… He was like a hateful rock.

How I wish I could be with Deidara right now and ignore all these people. I miss the feeling of him holding me and create explosive butterflies before we sleep. I hugged my blanket, imagining he was here and fell asleep.

I woke up not much later and had a strong desire to pee. Karin was sleeping tightly, so I quietly made my way to the bathroom in the hallway.

As I finished and left the bathroom, a figure holding a sword stopped me. It was no one else but Sasuke holding my Akatsuki cloak.

"I assume this must either be yours or the father of your child."

"You know, it's rude to rummage through a girl's belongings."

"I found it odd that you were here. The villagers said you've only been here for a month and they have no idea where you came from. There's no real reason for you to seek refuge here."

I've been caught red-handed. I refused to meet his eyes in case he would use the sharingan on me.

"Answer my question."

"Yes, it belongs to the father. We had a one night stand and I kept his cloak as remembrance. Happy?"

"Where was that?"

"An inn east to the fire temple."

" The father-"

"-is not your brother. That's for certain." I interrupted.

"Where is the Akatsuki?"

"I don't know. I told you I'm not in contact with him anymore."

He was clearly not satisfied and held the sword closer to my throat.

"Tell me the truth. I don't want to waste my time on someone with your condition but I will do whatever it takes to find him and take him down."

"Like putting a pregnant girl under genjutsu? How despicable."

"Indeed." Another voice could be heard, approaching behind Sasuke. "That's very despicable, hm."

"Deidara!" I was so glad to see him. Perfect timing, I might add as well!

"That explains everything." Sasuke turned to the blonde. "Where's Itachi?"

"Don't worry, he'll join you after I'm done with you, hm!"

He created a giant bird which went over Sasuke's head and grabbed me, flying out of the window.

"Wait!" I screamed. "There's four of them!"

I don't know if he heard me but the bird continued carrying me further and further away from the plantations, until they were only a tiny speck of green.

 _You're truly useless._


	33. Whatever It Takes

Sasuke actually offered not to hurt Deidara if the blonde revealed where Itachi was hiding. What a joke, who did he think he was? He would get rid of him and those eyes, those damned eyes that looked just like the ones he was ridiculed by years ago. This would be a good training ground in preparation to battling Itachi one day.

His stupid friends were nuisances but he flew high enough so they could not touch him. They didn't concern him, what annoyed him most was Sasuke's ability to defuse his bombs with his lightning attacks, but he wouldn't let him get away that so easily. The artist made his bombs more and more superb each time and he loved the feeling of adrenaline rushing through his veins as he could see Sasuke's struggle and fear amplify against his superior creations. When Deidara thought he toyed around enough, he sent down another bomb which devised into a much bigger blast, consuming all four of them.

He waited for a while to see if any of them somehow managed to avoid the explosion but after several minutes of silence, he realized victory. That had actually been a piece of cake! He expected more from Itachi's younger brother. A triumphant smirk found its way to his lips.

"I won! My art won!"

He had done it, he had killed one of the Sharingan brothers. He finally avenged himself, Sasori and Anjira. With a satisfied sigh, he jumped on his bird and flew to where to where he had left Anjira to relay the good news to her.

She looked so worried, which didn't suit her at all.

"Are you alright?" She ran up to him.

"Of course." He grinned. "Sasuke is dead. You have nothing to worry about anymore, hm."

"Really?"

"Yeah. There's no way anyone could have escaped from that blast, hm. You should have seen it."

He was in such high spirits. Suddenly, all that brooding about the pregnancy was gone, in fact, he was looking forward to it, to tell stories to his kid about how he defeated the Uchiha brothers. He felt like he could do anything.

He looked Anjira deep in the eyes. Despite all the stress she'd been through, she still looked so radiant and full of life, her skin was glowing. Must be the hormones or something. He pulled her closer and feverishly kissed her.

He had hopelessly fallen in love with her, it was inevitable. Whenever he left, the bigger part of him always wanted to return and it was pointless to fight it any further. Memories of her just weren't enough, he needed her with him. He just wanted to be with her and nothing else mattered because he knew that no matter how bad things turned, they'd pull through somehow.

Despite all the times he had told her that he didn't care and it would have been better if she had just died back then, the very thought of something happening to her filled him with dread, and he couldn't help himself but look for her and make sure she was okay. And even though she told him countless times that she was sick of seeing his face, she still reciprocated whenever he tried to embrace her. All the things said in rage never meant anything. At the end of the day, they still sought one another.

And in this very moment, all he wanted was to do something reckless, something in the heat of the moment that didn't have to make sense. He had already defeated Sasuke, so nothing was holding him back.

"Marry me, hm." He whispered as he broke from the kiss. He was just so overcome with euphoria as he said this.

"... What?!" She stared back at him with wide eyes as if he had suddenly grown ten heads.

Well, that sounded dumb, but who cares?

"We've come a long way, don't you think? We should take it a step further, hm."

"We're having a child together. I think we've skipped an entire staircase."

He laughed at her comment. There was really no reason to do it, just for the heck of it.

"What's gotten into you? I thought you weren't the type to settle down and make vows for eternity."

"It's not gonna be like that, hm… "

"Not for eternity then? So it will be you who I'll marry and divorce the next day?"

"Don't you dare!" He grabbed her playfully tickled her back. It has been a while since they laughed like this together and it felt so good, there was nothing he would trade for moments like this.

He placed a small amount of clay in his palm and let his mouth delicately work on his latest creation which was something he never made before or never expected to make: a white ring with bold curved designs.

"Wait, you're serious about the wedding thing?" She gaped at him.

Doubt suddenly hit him like a tidal wave. He was so lost in exhilaration, he forgot the possibility that she might still reject him.

"Aren't we a bit too young to get married?"

"Well, we're too young to have a baby but here we are, hm... "

"How are we going to do it though? We are Akatsuki members and you're a wanted criminal, I doubt any Shinto priest would marry us. Oh wait, you're Buddhist, right? How do Buddhists marry?"

He dismissively waved his hand.

"We don't need anyone to marry us or even go in a shrine or temple. It will just be the two of us. Somewhere nice where I light up the whole sky and you play your best songs throughout night, we perform for ourselves and maybe people will hear and see us, curiously wondering what that artful and coruscating event might be and turns out it's our wedding… Imagine that, hm."

She bashfully laughed and shook her head in defeat.

"This is the most idiotic thing you ever suggested. Let's do it."

He leaned in to kiss her again held out the ring.

"Hold on, is this gonna explode?"

"Only if you leave me, hm."

"Seriously? You'll just blow off my hand like that?" She deadpanned at him.

"Uh huh."

"This is not an engagement, this is insurance. What about you? How am I gonna make sure you won't leave?"

"You know, me, I can't go on long without you. You, on the other hand, keep wandering off somewhere and it'll take me hours, sometimes days to find you. "

"You've got the mobility..."

"But you don't even try! You walk exactly in the opposite direction I left. Looks obvious to me who among the two of us is more likely to leave, isn't it?"

"Point taken." She stretched out her hand so he could slide the clay ring on, and leaned in for another kiss. All of her being finally belonged to him.

In this moment everything was perfect.

But then it all fell apart.

Sasuke, along with his four friends, had survived Deidara's attack. Not only that, but Sasuke had finally caught up to his older brother, who had died during the fight. The blonde did not know all of the details but it was more than enough to spiral him into sheer despondency and endless sulking.

Itachi, the man he had trained for so hard all those years- dead, just like that. And again it was that brat Sasuke who stole his kill. First Orochimaru, and now Itachi. How much longer was he going to he get in his way? Sasuke didn't even put in much fight the last time the blonde encountered him, so how in the world was he able to defeat Itachi?

Deidara had spent many years and drafts to come up with something that could help him ultimately defeat Itachi. The C4 Karura was created in this process, a jutsu that will counter and surpass the Sharingan. Unlike his other artworks where the explosions were impossible to miss, the bombs ruptured by the C4 Karura were microscopic so that they could enter his opponent's bloodstream undetected and disintegrate them from the inside. Not really his style, but art needs to be flexible for it to reach ambitious heights. He had also trained his eye so that he could see through visual genjutsu. Never again would he become a victim to the power of those eyes again.

That was how hard he worked after Itachi had utterly humiliated him, deflated his ego and degraded his art with those eyes. Since that day, Deidara had sworn he will seize victory over Itachi, but that was all now flushed down into the sewer.

Itachi was strong, he knew that even though he hadn't had the chance to gouge out his full potential yet, but he heard all the things Itachi was capable of. When he fought Sasuke, he realized his little brother couldn't even do half the things Itachi could. This pissed him off because Sasuke was all that was left now and it honestly felt like he was getting a downgrade. He bet the only reason Sasuke won was because Itachi wanted to go easy on his little brother, there had to be no other explanation.

To make matters worse, he was summoned by Pain for a private meeting and he had an idea of what it might be about.

"Zetsu has reported to me that he hasn't seen Anjira in a long time. Would you care to explain?"

Figured it would be about Anjira. Could he hide her any longer?

"She got sick so I just let her rest somewhere safe, hm…"

"Is it serious? After you got your surgeries? Why didn't you inform us?"

"Well…" He couldn't think of a good excuse.

"Where is she now?"

"Um…"

Pain's face darkened.

"You better tell me the truth, Deidara. The Akatsuki already suffered huge blows after losing three members and if another one has deserted us, we would have to retaliate quickly."

"She's… she's pregnant." Deidara bit his lip. Pain raised his eyebrow in surprise.

"…And the father?"

The blonde looked down, refusing to answer or make eye contact.

Pain simply sighed and rubbed his temples like a disappointed parent.

"I should have known better than to pair up two young members of the opposite sex." He composed himself. "When is she due?"

"In a few weeks, hm."

"Let her stay in the Hidden Rain until she gives birth. We'll have our villagers take care of the child while the both of you continue operating within the organization."

Deidara was relieved that there was someone who was going to take care of the baby and that Anjira would still remain a member of the Akatsuki. Pain controlled his village relentlessly so it was definitely a secure place.

"I want you to partner up with Kisame and look for the eight tails."

"The eight tails? But we were assigned to the nine tails, hm…"

"Konan and I will collect the nine tails. We already have a plan set in motion."

Deidara frowned. He even lost Naruto as his target now… Could things get any worse? How could he prove now to those wronged him that his art was perfect?

"Take Anjira to the Hidden Rain and assist Kisame after." Pain commanded, dismissing him from the meeting.

He hung his head low and shook with rage. Before returning to Anjira, he attacked a camp set up by some shinobi from the Hidden Cloud and blew them up. Admiring his art soothed him a little, but he was still pissed with how everything turned out.

"How did it go?" Anjira watched him with anxious eyes.

"I have good news for you. You can stay in the Hidden Rain until the birth. They will take care of the baby and you still get to be a member, hm."

"That's great!" She smiled. "That way we can visit the baby from time to time when we have a break from missions."

"Yeah, our leader got it all covered, hm."

While he was also put at ease about their child's security, he couldn't shake the feeling of despair in him.

"… we're also no longer assigned to the nine tails, hm. I've been partnered with Kisame to look for the eight tails. Our leader and Konan are gonna go after Naruto, hm…"

"Oh…" Her smile faltered. "Well, considering how many members we lost and how desperate the Akatsuki has become, I can't really blame them. Hopefully things will get better once we caught all of the Jinchuuriki."

"I know, but… I really wanted to defeat Naruto, hm." He also had really wanted to defeat Itachi…

She cupped his face with her fingers.

"It's alright. Whatever happens, I know you'll do your best. I believe in you."

He chuckled but couldn't help himself but look down in guilt. She always said the right things but he felt like he had failed her. Her nightmares have been less frequent ever since they started sleeping together, but they were still there nonetheless and he had hoped that by killing Sasuke, he could ease the pain from her memories. Well, next time he would make sure that Sasuke is dead.

After transporting her to the Hidden Rain, he prepared to meet up with Kisame. They were greeted by Konan who immediately took Anjira to an available apartment, which looked pretty comfortable so there was nothing for him to worry about.

"Tell the kid to wait for me. I'll be back soon, hm." He kissed her and headed out for his mission.

He would not fail again.


	34. Brightness

I'm not sure what's happening anymore but I've got the impression that the world has gone mad. Our very leader, Pain, nearly eradicated the Hidden Leaf and almost captured the nine-tails but then Naruto, the Jinchuuriki, defeated him, and funnily it felt as if Konan was praising him. I couldn't ask Konan for more details because all of a sudden my water broke, a week earlier than expected. The surprise must have prompted it.

I was exhilarated to meet my baby, find out whether it was a boy or a girl and what they would look like but I couldn't help but feel anxious about all of it: the process of giving birth and what would happen after. Everything would be so different and I didn't feel prepared for any of those things. I didn't even know how the process of childbirth goes, all I knew was that it would hurt for a long time.

I still felt fine but after a few hours, the contractions started becoming more painful. Thankfully, Konan consistently checked on me and told me that she sent the word to Deidara so he could return. I'm not sure how much time had passed but I think it took me an entire day of pushing and getting a panic attack in between, which the nurses helped me with. There was not much I can remember during this time except for the pain and my fear until it was finally done.

At last, I met my baby.

A beautiful healthy baby boy was carefully placed in my arms, looking a little dazed but he did not cry. He had fine brown hair and his eyes were blue, although they were not skyblue like Deidara's, they were darker, like the color of the ocean. With that being the exception, he almost looked just like his father, he didn't get much from me. The face structure and the eye shape were all after his, even the brilliance in his expression was there. I examined him more and found a tiny toothless mouth on each hand, drooling a little. It was so adorable. Looked like he inherited Deidara's Kekkei Genkai but I hoped he would have an affinity for music as well. He was wonderful and I teared up. My most precious artwork.

I know I already asked Konan but I wanted to hear it again.

"Will he have a good future here?"

"Yes. He will live in a future full of hope and light, where flowers never die… He will bring light to this dark world..."

I raised my brow, startled by her sudden strange statement. She simply smiled before leaving the hospital room. I found her behavior a bit odd recently but I suspected she must be grieving after Pain's death, they were close after all. I decided not to dwell too much on it and focused my attention on my lovely son.

Deidara arrived almost an hour later, his steps reluctant as he entered the room.

"The kid couldn't wait for me, huh?" He tried to crack a joke but it completely failed to cover his nervousness as he scanned the room and when his eye spotted his child he suddenly looked very shocked as if he had never seen a baby before.

"You can't claim that he's not yours anymore." I softly opened my son's palm.

"Oh..." Deidara looked even more shocked now. "He's got my… my..."

"He'll be able to do the same artworks as you."

He gave out a nervous chuckle.

"So… what should we name him?"

"Hiroaki- he's full of radiance and brightness."

"So you chose without me, hm."

"I did all the work so it is my right to pick the name."

"Hey, I kept you two alive all these months!" He pouted, making me laugh.

"Do you want to hold him?" I held out little Hiroaki to his father but then he cried for the first time. I took him back and comforted him.

"He doesn't even like me, hm!"

"Well, you're not exactly the perfect image of a dad."

"Well, it's not like I'm ready to be one. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do, hm..."

"Neither do I."

"But you've done great, hm." He leaned over and kissed me. I smiled back at him, happy that he believed in me. It would take some time, but I'm sure Deidara would do great as well in his own way.

I felt better after two days and left the hospital, cautiously wrapping my baby in clothing before going home. I've never been this careful in my life and with every step I took, I made sure our baby was okay.

For some strange reason we never saw Konan again after I had given birth and that worried Deidara greatly.

"I figured Konan would be in charge of the Akatsuki now since she's second in command but it's weird that I can't find her anywhere. To think Naruto defeated our leader… How could that happen? Unbelievable, hm! "

"I have no idea, I was just as puzzled as you are."

"Well, maybe she's off somewhere doing business."

But in the coming days we still haven't heard from her and it seemed like it wasn't just us who were uneasy about her absence.

Some villagers protested outside, requesting their 'god' and angel to come out to see if they still protected this village, while another fraction scolded them for making demands towards their divine leaders. Then a rumor spread that they had been defeated and somebody else had taken over the village, which caused mass panic as people tried to find out if this was true.

"What is happening here? Do you really think someone also killed Konan?" I asked Deidara, worried for Hiroaki's safety. It was hard to imagine someone beating Konan, she seemed very powerful, even being able to defeat Deidara's former partner to bring him into the Akatsuki.

"I don't have time anymore to investigate. We better leave immediately before a civil war breaks out, hm!"

He was absolutely right, there was no point in staying here anymore. Deidara flew us out of the village to look for somewhere safe.

It was so difficult to take care of a child without a stable place and we had to keep transporting more often to find supplies. One time we were attacked by a bunch of shinobi who recognized us as Akatsuki members while we tried to get diapers and they didn't even care the slightest that we had a baby with us!

Travelling was also hard because Hiroaki disliked being carried while walking and would cry until we took a stop. He preferred to fly which calmed him and made him fall asleep. Even though I covered him with a myriad of warm clothes to protect him from the chilly air while we were flying, he still developed a cold and cough. I played healing songs for him that eased his cough a little but it just wouldn't go away. Did my songs not work on babies? I was so clueless and worried. I glanced at Deidara but one look told me that I should expect the worse.

"We can't keep him like this, hm..."

My heart sank. With everything in disarray, how could we keep him safe?

"We should leave him in one of the big five villages. That's our best bet, hm."

"Which one?"

"We'll discuss that later, hm. Let's look for shelter first before he gets any sicker."

We returned to the abandoned house where we fought so many months ago. After feeding little Hiroaki, I sang to lull him to sleep. Deidara was sitting in the same room, working with his explosions. Funnily enough, Hiroaki never woke up when there was an exploding sound, perhaps he got used to hearing them during the time I was pregnant. Looking at his sleeping face inspired me to write a song and I supposed it was time for me to work because I haven't touched my guitar since giving birth.

I walked up to Deidara and carefully handed over our baby.

"Where are you going?" He asked me.

"It's time for me to work on my art. I didn't get to let loose for a while."

Hiroaki then woke up and upon seeing his father holding him, he started to cry loudly.

"He really hates me, hm..." Deidara tried to return him but I shook my head.

"Time for the two of you to bond." I smirked and left the house with my guitar.

I was thinking of writing but then I realized I just wanted to play, let out all the anguish, anxiety, frustration, fear, uncertainty, doubt, excitement and happiness I had been feeling these past few months. And I just played, there was no theme, just raw emotions pouring out indefinitely.

Around an hour and a half later, I felt so relieved. To ice the cake, I roared. Everything felt so much better, as if a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders. This is the power of music- it heals your soul, relieves you from your emotions and demons like nothing else. All of the turbulence of emotions I felt for so long was soothed within a short time by music.

When I returned, I was blessed with the view of Hiroaki sleeping soundly on Deidara's chest, while the blonde cleaned the snot that dripped on his cloak with tissues with a distressed expression.

"That looks like an improvement." I chuckled.

"Took him almost half an hour to stop crying, hm. Showed him a few explosions but he would cry again after five minutes and I'm low on clay."

I smiled and took a seat next to him before relieving him off his fatherly duties.

"We need to think about where to leave him, hm."

"Are you sure? What if we won't be able to see him again?"

"That's why we need to win the war. Once the Akatsuki gains power over all lands, we can easily go to him. But right now, he's just too fragile, hm. He can come with us when he's a bit older. "

I didn't want to be separated from him but Deidara was right, it was too dangerous. He's already sick and to think there were shinobi who would attack us even though we brought a tiny baby was too risky and it was better to leave him somewhere safe.

Like Deidara said, one of the major villages was the ideal destination. They had better protection, healthcare, education and everything else necessary for his future. But which one should it be?

The Hidden Stone was out of question. People there knew Deidara and would immediately recognize him as his son and cause unnecessary complications when we come for him.

The Hidden Leaf was also not a good option since Pain just nearly decimated the place and was under heavy repairs, which meant they were short on supplies.

I didn't like the Hidden Sand either, for the reason that Deidara had defeated the Kazekage and might not treat our son well if they found out, and also because it was a desert area, not a really nice place to let a child live in.

That left the Hidden Cloud or the Hidden Mist.

"What about the Hidden Mist? Kisame seemed alright."

"No, no, if our son pursues art he will only be surrounded by sword-fighting obsessed brutes who will hinder him from getting inspiration. Not a good choice, hm."

"How about the Hidden Cloud? I think they're pretty advanced."

"Most of the people there have lightning affinity and since he's born with earth affinity, he'll only get bullied."

"Then where do you suggest?"

"The Hidden Stone."

"What? No way! They'll know for sure he's related to you!"

"That's the point, hm. Ohnoki will know he's my son so he will keep a close eye on him."

"But isn't he going to make things more difficult for us if we go there? Plus you told me all that bad stuff when you still lived there and now you wanna bring him there?"

"I wanted to destroy it much earlier but now I realize they can be useful for one more thing: to raise our kid. They owe me that, hm. And when the right time comes, we'll get Hiroaki back and make them pay for not realizing the true value of art!"

"So we'll let him grow up there and then destroy it? Don't you think he's gonna hate us for that?"

"No, he's gonna realize the talent he has for art and conceive that he needs to expand his artistic horizon outside the village, and that's where we come in, hm."

I blinked. Was he insinuating that our child will grow up just like him? Well, it is a possibility but it was not definite. It didn't matter to me, all I wanted was for him to have a happy childhood and be protected from the likes of Orochimaru.

"But what if he doesn't want to be an artist?"

"Nonsense, both of his parents are artists and he's already born with a gift. No matter how much that old fart might discourage him, art will be his nature. And hey, maybe when he gets older, he'll be interested in learning an instrument. One way or another, inspiration will call him, hm. "

I still felt a little skeptical. He sounded so confident but there was no guarantee that things would go so smoothly. But if what he suggested were to happen, other villagers might not understand him and he could get bullied.

"What if he won't make any friends?"

"He'll pull through. You survived worse, I'm sure he got some of your resilience."

I frowned.

"Hoi, don't make that face, it's gonna be fine, hm. If you're really that worried we can send him a sibling."

"I'm gonna kill you if you get me pregnant again."

He simply laughed.

"Besides, don't you think it's better if he stays with someone we know rather than being raised by a complete stranger? That ancient oaf may not know shit about art but he raised me and I survived alright, hm. Plus, Kurotsuchi and Akatsuchi have always been friendlier than me around kids..."

He had a point. Come to think of it, it would be somewhat like leaving Hiroaki with relatives. I suppose I would prefer that although I still had a few doubts. Deidara seemed to sense this and placed his hand under my chin.

"Trust me, hm."

At that moment Hiroaki let out a whooping cough and I knew we had to act now. As sad as it was, his health and security had to come first.

We left for the Hidden Stone and as usual I had wrapped Hiroaki with warm clothing, scared his cough might get any worse.

It broke my heart to know that I won't be seeing him for a long time and that he would grow up with no real parents, just like us. They might even tell him terrible things about his father. Well, that was something to worry about later. What matters most is that he has a good home and gets his cough treated.

Deidara still knew the outlay of the village and led us to where he believed would be the optimal place for the villagers to pick him up. I teared up as I lay Hiroaki, who was still sound asleep, in a basket with a note stating his name and the need to have his cough treated. My resolve wavered and I suddenly didn't want to pull through with this plan and just take him home, find a way to work it out. I blamed myself for not being able to create a healing jutsu that could cure him. Back then, I had failed to heal Kimimaro and for some reason I have not learned from that failure, to expand my music and practice healing songs that cure illnesses instead of injuries alone, and now I have failed to heal my own son! I had failed as a mother and as a musician.

"Hoi, we should go. The sooner they find him, the sooner he can get treated, hm."

I nodded, still feeling disappointed in myself and followed him.

We hid in the bushes as Deidara created a few birds that exploded loudly, the blast alerted the guards and they came to check what happened. When they spotted the baby, they read the note and picked him up. At that moment, Hiroaki started crying, I could hear him from our hiding spot. He was probably scared of these strange people and I wanted to run and grab him, stroke his hair and lull him to sleep.

Deidara held and pressed my hand. "He'll be safe, don't worry."

"Are they really going to have him treated?"

"Of course! Just because they have no aesthetic empathy doesn't mean they would turn down babies."

I watched the guard carrying Hiroaki disappear through the village gate, the last glimpse I would get to see from him and I couldn't help but cry uncontrollably.

"Shh, it's alright." Deidara held me. "We'll see him again soon, hm."

But for some reason, I had a feeling in my gut telling me that it would never happen.


End file.
